No carry on
For the first time ever, I am at the airport, awaiting to take off, and I do not have a carry-on bag. My mind still thinks I do because I keep looking for it every five minutes. All I've got is my wallet, my Droid and a 2000 mile long extension cord. This Droid 3 is very nice, but it chews right through the battery. I've got it plugged in now, but I can see the airport lights dim everytime I hit a key.
I'm assuming that when I do not have a signal or when my battery dies I will be sad, but until then, I will continue to keep looking for the bag that is sitting at home all alone.
Two-sack is going to be pissed because I also left the most recent Donaldson book at home. I was supposed to have read that six months ago, but have not made the time. I'm sure he won't mind, seeing as the book is big enough to be a carry-on on its own.
Bathroom Sign
We recently moved into new offices. There was a sign already in the bathroom when we got there saying that the door should be locked. I thought it needed a friend.
Kit's Pelotonia Fundraising Campaign
My friend Kit is raising money to cure cancer by riding in the Pelotonia. Here's a personal email from Kit that he sent to our group of friends that he never thought would wind up on the internet.
"I have an opportunity for you guys. I'm going to give you the chance to donate to my Pelotonia fundraising campaign. I have it on good authority that our own hometown OSU James Cancer hospital will be finding the cure for cancer this year. They told me, though, that they can only do this if they get some donations from the midnight mountain club in Lancaster, Ohio. I know, it sounds crazy, but that’s what they told me. I offered to donate on your behalf, but they said that it had to come from you guys. They also mentioned that if they don’t get the money, that the University of Michigan will definitely find the cure. I’m not a huge Buckeye fan, but I would hate it to go to the state up north.
I’m going to donate, and I think you guys should as well. It just so happens, that I have signed up for the Pelotonia, so you can easily donate to my ride, 100% of which, will go directly to the James. I checked to make sure this method of donation would actually cure cancer, and they said ‘yes’. Here’s the website:
Just in case that didn’t work, here are some other reasons to give:
· You’re not a pussy.
· Donations to Pelotonia are tax-deductible, you cheap bastards.
· Donors get a year’s worth of good feelings from me, and a thank you card.
· You can come down to Athens and party while I’m humping my bike for a 100 miles.
· You’re not a dick.
Anyway, I look forward to seeing you guys in Athens on August 20th.
Love,
Kit"
You can also support Kit by purchasing a "Kit Peery Bike T-shirt." I get $5 every time I sell a shirt, but I'll donate that to Kit. Go here to buy a shirt: http://skreened.com/holyjuan/kit-peery-s-bike-shirt.
"I have an opportunity for you guys. I'm going to give you the chance to donate to my Pelotonia fundraising campaign. I have it on good authority that our own hometown OSU James Cancer hospital will be finding the cure for cancer this year. They told me, though, that they can only do this if they get some donations from the midnight mountain club in Lancaster, Ohio. I know, it sounds crazy, but that’s what they told me. I offered to donate on your behalf, but they said that it had to come from you guys. They also mentioned that if they don’t get the money, that the University of Michigan will definitely find the cure. I’m not a huge Buckeye fan, but I would hate it to go to the state up north.
I’m going to donate, and I think you guys should as well. It just so happens, that I have signed up for the Pelotonia, so you can easily donate to my ride, 100% of which, will go directly to the James. I checked to make sure this method of donation would actually cure cancer, and they said ‘yes’. Here’s the website:
Just in case that didn’t work, here are some other reasons to give:
· You’re not a pussy.
· Donations to Pelotonia are tax-deductible, you cheap bastards.
· Donors get a year’s worth of good feelings from me, and a thank you card.
· You can come down to Athens and party while I’m humping my bike for a 100 miles.
· You’re not a dick.
Anyway, I look forward to seeing you guys in Athens on August 20th.
Love,
Kit"
You can also support Kit by purchasing a "Kit Peery Bike T-shirt." I get $5 every time I sell a shirt, but I'll donate that to Kit. Go here to buy a shirt: http://skreened.com/holyjuan/kit-peery-s-bike-shirt.
Hotel Room Fun
Want to have some fun while staying in a hotel?
First, find the hotel room pen and paper:
Second, write a list on the pad. Make sure you press down hard.
Last, tear the top sheet off and leave the pad behind for some Sherlock to find.
First, find the hotel room pen and paper:
Second, write a list on the pad. Make sure you press down hard.
Last, tear the top sheet off and leave the pad behind for some Sherlock to find.
There is such a thing as a bad milkshake
For my birthday (well, it was on my birthday) a few coworkers decided we should have a milkshake taste test. Seeing as we are not located in the culinary mecca of the city, we only had a few places to choose from so we did the best with what we had. We tested chocolate shakes from:
Steak and Shake (chocolate and Hershey's Special Dark)
Burger King
Wendy's
Dairy Queen
Steak and Shake Chocolate
The Steak and Shake chocolate was a very good chocolate shake. There was an even chocolate taste and it felt like real ice cream. Some comments included, "light chocolate taste", "really good" and "thin."
Burger King Chocolate
When we took the lid off the Burger King chocolate, we were confused. The shake looked white. An initial taste seemed to suggest that there was a light chocolate taste, but that it was underwhelming. Our only guess was that it was white chocolate and that BK got the order wrong. We tucked in and it was complete crap. Comments included, "marshmallow fluff," "cream" and "poor white chocolate." Oddly enough, one of our testers actually enjoyed the taste. I have to assume he hates chocolate. Fortunately he did like this shake because while finishing it off, he discovered what the problem was:
It seems the way Burger King makes their shakes is to stick the chocolate in the bottom, add the neutral milk shake liquid and then mix it up. It seems that they forgot to mix this one up.
Steak and Shake Hershey's Special Dark
The Steak and Shake Hershey's Special Dark shake was also tasty, if not a bit too chocolaty. It had a similar texture to the first Steak and Shake shake. (remember this: Metro Station - Shake It) One taster has problem with the froze chocolate chips being disconcerting to eat with the smooth shake. Other comments included, "smooth," "a bit too chocolaty" and "rich."
Frosty Chocolate Shake
Let's get one thing straight. A Frosty is not a shake. A Frosty is a frosty and I don't want to delve into religious beliefs here, but I assume that if there is a heaven, there are Frostys there and if there is a hell, there are none.
That being said, Wendy's felt the need to shame the Frosty by offering shakes. I did think for a moment that if you took a Frosty and let it melt a little, you'd get a shake. I've never eaten a Frosty slow enough to see it melt, so I was a bit curious. Maybe this might be delicious.
Wrong.
The Wendy's Chocolate shake is terrible. Too chocolaty and not smooth. Other comments included, "madness" and "worse than a Frosty."
The can only assume that this chocolate shake idea came out after Dave Thomas died or right before and it killed him.
Dairy Queen Chocolate Shake
Expectations were low for the Dairy Queen chocolate shake. I mean, it's Dairy Queen.
We were wrong.
The Dairy Queen shake was delicious. Smooth, a great chocolate taste. The classic chocolate shake. I realize that the Dairy Queen shake may not be hand dipped and mostly processed, but it was an awesome shake.
In the end, the Dairy Queen chocolate was rated highest and the Steak and Shake chocolate came in a close second.
And just so you are aware, the guy who thought the BK shake was delicious had all his votes thrown out.
Shake shake shake shake shake it.
Steak and Shake (chocolate and Hershey's Special Dark)
Burger King
Wendy's
Dairy Queen
Steak and Shake Chocolate
The Steak and Shake chocolate was a very good chocolate shake. There was an even chocolate taste and it felt like real ice cream. Some comments included, "light chocolate taste", "really good" and "thin."
Burger King Chocolate
When we took the lid off the Burger King chocolate, we were confused. The shake looked white. An initial taste seemed to suggest that there was a light chocolate taste, but that it was underwhelming. Our only guess was that it was white chocolate and that BK got the order wrong. We tucked in and it was complete crap. Comments included, "marshmallow fluff," "cream" and "poor white chocolate." Oddly enough, one of our testers actually enjoyed the taste. I have to assume he hates chocolate. Fortunately he did like this shake because while finishing it off, he discovered what the problem was:
It seems the way Burger King makes their shakes is to stick the chocolate in the bottom, add the neutral milk shake liquid and then mix it up. It seems that they forgot to mix this one up.
Steak and Shake Hershey's Special Dark
The Steak and Shake Hershey's Special Dark shake was also tasty, if not a bit too chocolaty. It had a similar texture to the first Steak and Shake shake. (remember this: Metro Station - Shake It) One taster has problem with the froze chocolate chips being disconcerting to eat with the smooth shake. Other comments included, "smooth," "a bit too chocolaty" and "rich."
Frosty Chocolate Shake
Let's get one thing straight. A Frosty is not a shake. A Frosty is a frosty and I don't want to delve into religious beliefs here, but I assume that if there is a heaven, there are Frostys there and if there is a hell, there are none.
That being said, Wendy's felt the need to shame the Frosty by offering shakes. I did think for a moment that if you took a Frosty and let it melt a little, you'd get a shake. I've never eaten a Frosty slow enough to see it melt, so I was a bit curious. Maybe this might be delicious.
Wrong.
The Wendy's Chocolate shake is terrible. Too chocolaty and not smooth. Other comments included, "madness" and "worse than a Frosty."
The can only assume that this chocolate shake idea came out after Dave Thomas died or right before and it killed him.
Dairy Queen Chocolate Shake
Expectations were low for the Dairy Queen chocolate shake. I mean, it's Dairy Queen.
We were wrong.
The Dairy Queen shake was delicious. Smooth, a great chocolate taste. The classic chocolate shake. I realize that the Dairy Queen shake may not be hand dipped and mostly processed, but it was an awesome shake.
In the end, the Dairy Queen chocolate was rated highest and the Steak and Shake chocolate came in a close second.
And just so you are aware, the guy who thought the BK shake was delicious had all his votes thrown out.
Shake shake shake shake shake it.
Taco Bell and White Castle Burrito
A few hours ago, Fake Dispatch was extremely hungry and posted the following:
When I got home, I decided, "Why the hell not?" I loaded Greg and Ann into the van and we headed to White Castle.
Thanks to my Reddit Secret Santa, I had a White Castle gift card.
$5.88 and a sack of 8 Sliders later, I ended up at Taco Bell. There I purchased a bean burrito, and chili cheese burrito (I'm sad they don't call it chilito anymore) and a beefy melt burrito.
At home we unloaded the bags.
And unloaded the contents.
I bought two extra White Castles for the kids to eat. Ann was not impressed by the smell.
Greg was in heaven!
I knew that I was going to need to stuff these Castles in the tortilla shells and I didn't know how well they would take the pressure. Instead I took some waxed paper and rolled the Castles up nice and tight.
I took the beefy melt burrito and revealed the OH MY FUCKING GOD IT'S HIDEOUS!
Pro Tip: Don't ever open your Taco Bell.
I inserted the White Castles...
and folded it back up.
I cut it open to reveal the unnatural bond of burger and burrito.
And then I took a bite.
I'm not going to lie to you. It was delicious. It was DELICIOUS! The red sauce and the rice with the soft bread and oniony, steamy burger... it was really tasty.
Greg liked it, too.
Next was the chili cheese burrito.
Ann tried this one.
While she didn't like it, it, too, was really good!
Finally we tried the bean burrito.
Sadly, the bean burrito was not at all good. The fresh onions did not mix well with the steamed onions and there was an onion gang war in my belly.
Overall, White Castle and Taco Bell make an awesome combination. If you have some wax paper and a wife that only threatens to kick you out of the house for stinking up the place (wait until 3:00am) then I suggest you try it!
When I got home, I decided, "Why the hell not?" I loaded Greg and Ann into the van and we headed to White Castle.
Thanks to my Reddit Secret Santa, I had a White Castle gift card.
At home we unloaded the bags.
And unloaded the contents.
I bought two extra White Castles for the kids to eat. Ann was not impressed by the smell.
Greg was in heaven!
I knew that I was going to need to stuff these Castles in the tortilla shells and I didn't know how well they would take the pressure. Instead I took some waxed paper and rolled the Castles up nice and tight.
I took the beefy melt burrito and revealed the OH MY FUCKING GOD IT'S HIDEOUS!
Pro Tip: Don't ever open your Taco Bell.
I inserted the White Castles...
and folded it back up.
I cut it open to reveal the unnatural bond of burger and burrito.
And then I took a bite.
I'm not going to lie to you. It was delicious. It was DELICIOUS! The red sauce and the rice with the soft bread and oniony, steamy burger... it was really tasty.
Greg liked it, too.
Next was the chili cheese burrito.
Ann tried this one.
While she didn't like it, it, too, was really good!
Finally we tried the bean burrito.
Sadly, the bean burrito was not at all good. The fresh onions did not mix well with the steamed onions and there was an onion gang war in my belly.
Overall, White Castle and Taco Bell make an awesome combination. If you have some wax paper and a wife that only threatens to kick you out of the house for stinking up the place (wait until 3:00am) then I suggest you try it!
Can Birds See the Color Yellow?
Yes, Beth, birds can see the color yellow. I'm just fucking with you.
Father's Day gift tips
What NOT TO GET your dad for Father’s Day
1. Soap on a Rope (unless he’s in jail)
2. The DNA test (let’s just keep that between Mom and the Fed-Ex guy)
3. Anything with the word “soy” in it.
4. Used scaffolding
5. Beer in amounts more than 39 ounces
6. Rocking chair
7. Old Spice
8. Elvis anything
9. Chalk or anything that is written on with chalk
10. Lie detector
What TO GET your dad for Father’s Day
1. Carbide
2. Gift certificate to Scores or The Landing Strip
3. A tie (it’s back in this year)
4. Bacon, 1 pound (raw or cooked)
5. Anything that starts with Nintendo or ends with Box.
6. Anything salted
7. Bribe money
8. Fortified wine
9. Dashboard hula girl
10. “How to Pass a Lie Detector Test” book/pamphlet
1. Soap on a Rope (unless he’s in jail)
2. The DNA test (let’s just keep that between Mom and the Fed-Ex guy)
3. Anything with the word “soy” in it.
4. Used scaffolding
5. Beer in amounts more than 39 ounces
6. Rocking chair
7. Old Spice
8. Elvis anything
9. Chalk or anything that is written on with chalk
10. Lie detector
What TO GET your dad for Father’s Day
1. Carbide
2. Gift certificate to Scores or The Landing Strip
3. A tie (it’s back in this year)
4. Bacon, 1 pound (raw or cooked)
5. Anything that starts with Nintendo or ends with Box.
6. Anything salted
7. Bribe money
8. Fortified wine
9. Dashboard hula girl
10. “How to Pass a Lie Detector Test” book/pamphlet
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