My friend Kit is raising money to cure cancer by riding in the Pelotonia. Here's a personal email from Kit that he sent to our group of friends that he never thought would wind up on the internet.
"I have an opportunity for you guys. I'm going to give you the chance to donate to my Pelotonia fundraising campaign. I have it on good authority that our own hometown OSU James Cancer hospital will be finding the cure for cancer this year. They told me, though, that they can only do this if they get some donations from the midnight mountain club in Lancaster, Ohio. I know, it sounds crazy, but that’s what they told me. I offered to donate on your behalf, but they said that it had to come from you guys. They also mentioned that if they don’t get the money, that the University of Michigan will definitely find the cure. I’m not a huge Buckeye fan, but I would hate it to go to the state up north.
I’m going to donate, and I think you guys should as well. It just so happens, that I have signed up for the Pelotonia, so you can easily donate to my ride, 100% of which, will go directly to the James. I checked to make sure this method of donation would actually cure cancer, and they said ‘yes’. Here’s the website:
Just in case that didn’t work, here are some other reasons to give:
· You’re not a pussy.
· Donations to Pelotonia are tax-deductible, you cheap bastards.
· Donors get a year’s worth of good feelings from me, and a thank you card.
· You can come down to Athens and party while I’m humping my bike for a 100 miles.
· You’re not a dick.
Anyway, I look forward to seeing you guys in Athens on August 20th.
Love,
Kit"
You can also support Kit by purchasing a "Kit Peery Bike T-shirt." I get $5 every time I sell a shirt, but I'll donate that to Kit. Go here to buy a shirt: http://skreened.com/holyjuan/kit-peery-s-bike-shirt.
Showing posts with label cancer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cancer. Show all posts
4th Hand Smoke Found to be Cause of Ear Cancer
COLUMBUS - The Institute of American Cancer Studies released a report today concerning a new diagnosis of smoking induced auricular cancer. This alarming study has determined that this recently discovered cancer is caused by Fourth Hand Smoke. Dr. Rich Sparhawk of the Grunnard Institute explains, “Fourth Hand Smoke occurs when a person is forced to listen to someone complaining about how their friend’s clothes smelled of smoke from being at a bar the night before.”
1. Person A interacts with smoker at bar/party.
1. Person A interacts with smoker at bar/party.
2. Person A runs into Person B at a different venue.
While complaints about smoking are not new, this new type of complaining is whinier, higher pitched and narcissistic. Dr. Senja Filkrujka is an ear cancer specialist, “The sound wave’s resonance “awakens” the ear cancer eggs that naturally line the ear canal. While the cancer eggs are usually dormant, this “4th hand smoke” ruptures them, forcing the eggs into their growth cycle. Within days, tumors fill the ears and crawl deep inside the brain. It’s quite nasty.”
The prognosis is not very good, “Until we can get everyone to quit smoking, there are still going to be people hanging around with smokers who then later bump into non-smokers who will then complain about it to some other poor person later.”
3. The next day Person B complains to you about the smell of Person A.
4. Ear cancer strikes!
While complaints about smoking are not new, this new type of complaining is whinier, higher pitched and narcissistic. Dr. Senja Filkrujka is an ear cancer specialist, “The sound wave’s resonance “awakens” the ear cancer eggs that naturally line the ear canal. While the cancer eggs are usually dormant, this “4th hand smoke” ruptures them, forcing the eggs into their growth cycle. Within days, tumors fill the ears and crawl deep inside the brain. It’s quite nasty.”
The prognosis is not very good, “Until we can get everyone to quit smoking, there are still going to be people hanging around with smokers who then later bump into non-smokers who will then complain about it to some other poor person later.”
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