6th Annual St. James Tavern Shorts Festival

The 6th Annual St. James Tavern Shorts Festival

O.G. Productions, The St. James Tavern, 1057 N. 4th St., Columbus, OH 43201

Contact:  614-595-7743,  

Details: The show that started OGP’s off-site endeavors returns for its 6th year with six short plays based around the theme of A ____ Walks Into a Bar.

Showtime: 7pm, Friday July 1, one night only

Tickets: Free, but the beer isn’t

Come for the fireworks and then go see the fireworks!

5 new shows this year and one OGP classic, including entries from OGP stalwarts like Mark Harvey Levine, Doug Powhida and Deborah Chava Singer, newcomer David Lewison, a classic from Josh Kessler, and a surprise play that we don't know anything about.  

For more info on The St. James Tavern, go to: www.stjamestavern.com/

Featured Shows: 

A Woman Walks into a Bar by David Lewison 

A couple of regulars on an irregular night. 

Director: Tay Lane

Cast
Harvey: Jonathan Calig
Gina: Shana Kramer
Sid: Mike Litzinger

A Title of a Play Walks into a Bar (it's a working title) by Doug Powhida 

Director: Stephen Woosley

Careful what you wish for.

Cast
Man: Don Delco
Woman:  Tay Lane
Man 2: TBD

Super Surprise Show by ??? (Even we don't know what this one is)
Director: ??
Cast: ??

Ex Officio (An Ex Walks Into a Bar...) by Deborah Chava Singer

Some custody battles are tougher than others.

Director: Lauren Rodgers

Cast
Derrick: Greg McGill
Marie: Kyle Jepson
Pete: Stephen Woosley
Lindsay: Colleen Dunne

Your Move by Mark Harvey Levine

Your bar?

Director: Tay Lane

Cast
Belinda: Colleen Dunne
Euripides: Greg McGill
Yorick: Stephen Woosley

Quid Pro Quo by Josh Kessler

A bear walks into a bar.

Director: Jason Sudy


Bear: John Kuhn

Here… Catch

Humans like to throw things at each other. Sometimes it’s because they want that thrown thing to hurt the other person, but I like to think that usually it’s for fun or to make the bland and tedious task of handing something to someone else more fun.  Football was a completely boring form of opposite soccer before passing was added.  Throwing is fun.

It turns out that the only way to get things from one car to another on the road is to throw them, like with a tape or a taco.  Yes, tapes and tacos.

In 1996 I was in Ft. Lauderdale with the rats that played basketball.  Miss Sally and I had just moved in together and we were very careful not to throw things at each other.  At that time, I had my 1988 Honda Civic which had taken me back and forth across the country with the aforementioned rats.  Helping us to pass the time in that Honda was a tape deck.  I had an awesome collection of cassette tapes (Cassette tapes are like a CD with a broken skip track button) from George Carlin and Monty Python to Frank’s Fresh Favorites 6 to Depeche Mode.  I also had Enya’s “Watermark” tape.  It had been on heavy replay in my tape deck. 

In Florida, the turn lanes are usually doubled up and 50 cars long so that when you are in one, you are usually next to someone who is intently trying to ignore you as much as you are trying to ignore them.   This works out because everyone has heavy tint, their windows rolled up and air conditioning on.  But my windows were down because I am from Ohio and I like to let the natural environment envelope me  (My air conditioner was broken.)  For some reason, the car next to me also had their window down and could not help but hear that my pathetic factory speakers spit out and treble knob turned all the way up Enya tape.  The woman in the car next to me leaned out her window and yelled, “Excuse me!  What is that song you are listening to?”

I said, “It’s Enya! I’m not sure which song.”

She replied, “I really like it! It sounds awesome!”

And without thinking, I hit the eject button, pulled out the tape and threw it at her window and yelled, “Here… catch!” 

She really didn’t have time to catch it, but I did make it through her window and landed in her car.
“You don’t have to do that!”

I lied, “Don’t worry, I have another one!”

“Thanks!”

And then we both drove on as the light changed.

I’m not sure why I did that.  I’d love to track down that woman and see if her life was changed by that Enya tape as much as I like to think it could have been. That she was moved to quit her job and continue with her Celtic music career.  Or maybe she played it for her child at home to help them fall asleep at night.

A few years later, I made another toss.

I was passing through Bowling Green, Ohio.  Bowling Green is home to BGSU and LifeFormations.  They also have a Taco Bell.  I think I was hungover.  At that time in my life, I had a 50/50 chance of being hungover or still drunk if I had Taco Bell.  It was daytime, so the odds I was hungover.  Per usual, I had about 75 items purchased from the drive thru.  Usually a combination of Chilitos (Chili Cheese Burritos as you know them), hard shell tacos and bean burritos (no onions, add sour cream.)

 At this time, I was choking down a taco while stopped at a light.  A truck pulled up next to me in the left hand turn lane.  A very cute girl in the passenger seat looked over and down at me and was really excited about the taco I was eating.  She said, “Hey! That taco looks really good!”

I swallowed and said, “You want one?”

“Sure!”

I reached in the bag and grabbed a taco.  “Here… catch!”

The taco arced through the air between my car and the truck.  At the zenith of the throw, the wrapper stopped being a wrapper, caught air and became a really shitty cape.  The contents of the taco, now free to move about, began to move about.  The shell of the taco decided to hang back a bit and let the meat, lettuce, tomato and cheese go first.  The girl tried to grab on to this once singular taco, but found herself trying to grasp a mist of vegetable and beef.  She only succeeded enhancing the ex-taco trajectories and spreading them out through the front seat of the truck.  There was a thin layer of taco all over her and the seat. She was completely aghast. I was completely hit the gas and got out of there.  I’d like to think I said sorry as I sped off, but I’m sure I didn’t.

The moral of this story(s) is this: spontaneity is great. Go with it. But only throw music; tediously hand over food.