Pick Five Music Videos You Would Send to the Universe

My co-worker posed a question the other day.  He asked, “If you had the opportunity to send five music videos into the cosmos in the hopes that some alien civilization would find and be able to watch them, what videos would they be?”

We spoke for a few minutes and set up some guidelines. The videos, in our opinion, would have to be ones that would give the alien race an overall sense of what music videos are, how they are and why MTV doesn't play them anymore. The popularity of the song or the artist(s) would not matter, just the video.

And somehow, it wasn't hard to pick.  I had about ten and then just had to narrow it down.

I'll list mine first with a little commentary. If Jeffrey has any comments, I can add those later. Feel free to drop your top five in the comments and your reasons why they should be sent into space.

Worlds Apart – Journey 
Worlds Apart is the quintessential music video. Full band playing invisible instruments. Lip syncing. Real emotion that is faked. Then real instruments. A girl who seems not to notice them. A wharf. This is the Rosetta Stone of music videos. 

Wires - RED FANG
This video is very instructional as it gives a step by step course on how to make a video. And they break shit because that is what rock is all about.

Sledgehammer – Peter Gabriel 
Sledgehammer takes the Worlds Apart Rosetta Stone and smashes it in front of the Golden Calf of the music industry. This is the best video ever.

Psycho Killer (From the Film “Stop Making Sense) - The Talking Heads 
David Byrne does not need to have his video shot into space, because he is God and can do it himself.  He'll get to it once the Earth is destroyed and he finds himself seeking entertainment on another ethereal plane. 

Jerk It – Thunderheist 
I have my reasons for liking this video.  You can read about them here.

Here are Jeffrey's videos. Not a bad collection to send our alien friends to be. 

Take on Me- aha

Thriller-Michael Jackson

Hot for Teacher- Van Halen

Fat- Weird Al 

OK, so to understand this one, the Aliens would need to know that this is a parody, so we are allowing a 4.5th video to go along and that would be:

Bad- Michael Jackson

Gin and Juice-Snoop Dog and Dr. Dre

The Things I Love

Some day, I will be dead. I'm not sure if I will ever leave behind a legacy. I'm just a guy. But if you are still reading this or if you are one of my kids or my grandkids, you might wonder, "What kind of person was Doug?" Hopefully, this collection of links will let you know the things I liked or the things that moved me.  Maybe you will walk away with more questions. Maybe that is a good thing. Here is a list of things I loved:

Sarah Brightman & Andrea Bocelli sing "Time to Say Goodbye."


Susan Boyle sings "I Dreamed A Dream."

This is a project that I will attempt to keep up with. Each time I add something, I'll add the date below.


Melt Bar and Grilled: A Review

Miss Sally and I heard testimonials from several people about a new restaurant in Columbus called Melt: Bar andGrilled so we decided to check it out. 

We went on Saturday night around 9:00 p.m. and the place was hopping.  The hostess said the wait would be about 90 minutes and she had us dig through a pumpkin head for a name tag.  I got one that said, “Shut the front door.” We were to stick the nametag in a very visible place as the hostess would be around later to find us when our seat came up. She said that the bar was full service, so that if we could find seats, we could eat there. So we went up to the bar to get beers.

The decor was nice. Fun light fixtures. TVs at the bar. Pop culture icons drawn on the walls. The place was packed, but they seemed to handle the crowds and we got beers quickly. Their beer menu is impressive, though we they did list the Blonde Bombshell Ale as a hefeweizen, so that was an interesting surprise on the first drink.  It was good enough that we didn't send it back.

After about 15 minutes, two seats at the bar did open up and we ordered. The menus are stuck to the back of album covers so they are giant squares that don’t live well on a bar, but the folks at the bar are quick to distribute them and as quick to spirit them away.  The menu offered some great looking deep fried snacks and the soups looked awesome.  We decided to skip the food foreplay and get sandwiches. In the end, I think what the chef that developed menu did was take the menu from another restaurant and then add thick slices of bread and cheese.  While there are some classic sandwiches like the Monte Crisco and the Cheeses Steak, I really wonder if there isn’t any meal in the world that you just can’t cram between two slabs of bread with cheese and call it a melt. I’m not complaining. I’m just waiting for the Big Mac Melt which is a Big Mac with Pepper jack between two wedges of sourdough.

In the end, I got bacon egg and cheese, called the Wake & Bacon and Miss Sally got the Purple Parma which is eggplant parmesan between two Stonehenge sized slices of bread.

My sandwich was exactly as expected with plenty of bacon and eggs cooked to order. The cheese seemed a bit processed as it was more sauce that it was gooey cheese, but it was still delicious. If you ever order this sandwich, substitute the “American Cheese” for something else.  Miss Sally's sandwich was a tank of eggplant.  Two generous slices of deep fried eggplant with parmesan and hint of marinara.  It was about 3" tall and impossible to eat as a sandwich.  The eggplant was cooked perfectly, which is difficult at times for some restaurants, but two slices was over doing it.  Add to that that the bread is 3/4" thick on both ends and she wound up eating it with a fork and knife.  She was hoping for a bit more gooey cheese and marinara.   In the end, it was a bit dry as the bread and breading absorbed any moisture. Pro-Tip: Ask for extra marinara on the side and eat it open faced.

The fries were tasty and they were the kind that went well with malt vinegar, which they had on the bar.  I did get the tail end of a batch of fries so I had a lot of bits and pieces of fried tips in my order. That didn't matter because I only was able to dig into to about half the fires before I tapped out.

There was bread pudding on the menu, but we were overwhelmed with food and unable to order it. Forgive me.

We got to-go boxes and used a fork lift to lower the left overs into the containers. I heated up my sandwich this morning and it still tasted great outside of the American goo on it.

We made it out with three beers and two sandwiches for about $35, which is a great deal.

We were completely bothered by their cutesy name tag business.  There was constantly someone walking through the bar yelling out, “I’m looking for Groovy Baby” or “Is there a Green Ranger” or “Where’s Waldo?”  Most people were not paying attention and because they weren’t calling out real names, it was a huge disconnect. I’m sure the people that work there absolutely hate this.

Overall, it was a nice experience. The food was decent, the beer list was impressive and the service was snappy, helpful and polite. I highly recommend that you check the place out at least once. I think the menu is just deep enough that you can wade in and find something you’ll like. Just don’t be afraid to custom order or make substitutions. 

Melt Bar and Grilled has four locations in the Cleveland area and one in Columbus.

The List of Things I Have Not Said On Facebook

Just like you, I am on Facebook. And also just like you, I have stupid friends who leave inane status updates that I would love to reply to and cannot because we probably wouldn't be friends anymore. Maybe that would be a good thing. Here is a list of things I have not said on Facebook in reply to my friends:

I am too short to ride your emotional roller coaster.

Your cause sucks.

No. You are nothing like any of the characters from Disney.

Your diet is a pyramid scheme.

Please fight with your husband at home.

You just ran eight miles? My ass you did.

Of course you want a drink… you are an alcoholic.

Just get a new cat.

Now there are 24 more things about you I didn't want to know.

Fucking read snopes.com before you post that shit. Idiot!

Your job does suck and your boss reads your FB page.

Yes, you are that guy.

Thanks! I was going to look outside to see that the weather was shitty, but now I’ll find something else to do.

I thought you were a racist before and now I know. Thanks for the clarification.

You are not 18 anymore. Nor are you 26 or even 35. Just quit it.

You have no idea what feckless means.

I am thankful that the 30 days of this are up.

Holy crap, I think I can see your tits in that photo.

That tattoo looks like complete shit.

Third time's a charm, dumbass.