Showing posts with label Predictions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Predictions. Show all posts

The Bet is Over

The No More Snow in 2009 Bet is over and I was incorrect.

I've always said that you can make 100 insane predictions and if only one of them comes true, people will forget the failed ones and call you a oracle and buy any book you print.

Back in February of 2009, I predicted that Columbus, OH would not receive any more snow in 2009. This was mainly brought on by a couple of future casts that predicted six feet of snow two weeks out.

Though the end of February and then March we didn't get any snow. Towards the end of April we had some flurries, but nothing else. Summer came and then Fall. While other places around the states got early snow, Columbus remained shielded with a dome of positive thoughts and impossible odds.

Right at the end of November, I shared this bet with my local weatherman. He replied:

But then the weeks started to go by. The snow Jym predicted in the first week never materialized. And by the second week, the future cast looked clear. On Wednesday of this week, they predicted flurries for the weekend. Then by Thursday that was updated to snow. And more snow.

Last night as we drove back from Erik's house, the first hint of snow began to fall and those little tiny flakes crushed my Nostradamus aspirations. This morning there is a carpet of way more than 1/4" inch of snow on the ground and the bet is off.

Please check by again in the first week of January for my predictions of 2010. For those interested, here are the links to my predictions from 2007 and 2008:

2007 Predictions
2008 Predictions

No More Snow in 2009 for Columbus, OH

Central Ohio got hit by a nice sized snow and ice storm at the end of January. Schools were closed and everybody curled up in front of the fires for two days. A few days later, the local newscasters were discussing some computerized forecast outlooks that were calling for two feet of snow. The only issue was that these forecasts were ten days out. I don’t know a whole lot about weather, but I do know that even the best forecaster is only good on his/her guesses about five days out at best. Ten days is insane to be reporting the possibility of a snowstorm and getting the general public all in a tizzy.

So the next day at work, on or about February 2nd, I made the prediction that Columbus would not get another snow for the rest of winter. Erik poked me with a stick and made me define “snow.” My definition was anything greater than ¼” in 24 hours.

Well, that two feet of snow never materialized. And since that time, we have been predicted to have slush and fluffy snow and ice… but so far, my prediction has stood up.

I explained my bet to a local forecaster on Twitter and he said my luck was up as we were going to get 1/2” of slush the next day and 1” of fluffy snow the day after.

Well, he was completely wrong and my stupid prediction was still on.

Face and name of said forecaster hidden to protect his identity.

Yesterday, it was 70 degrees, which worries me because we always seem to get that late March early April snow here in central Ohio. But I might be in the clear.

So to add a bit of muscle to the prediction, here’s my up: No More Snow in 2009. I predict that Central Ohio, specifically Columbus, OH will not get another snow greater that ¼” within a 24 hour period for the rest of 2009. Obviously this includes November and December of 2009 as well.

There. I said it.

So when we get 36” of snow on April 7th, you’ll have me to blame.

HolyJuan’s Predictions for 2008

OK, so none of my predictions for 2007 came true except for the “3. Bird Flu will not have an effect on the world’s population… this year,” prediction.

Here is my list of predictions for 2008 and I predict all of them will maybe come true.

1. The world will NOT end on 06/07/08. Unless you count my soon to be cousin-in-law, then maybe you have an argument.

2. Home Depot will change the spelling of its name to Home DeePo so that people start pronouncing it correctly.

3. I will not get caught for cheating on my taxes.

4. Due to some crazy political thing and some weird labor thing and an awful bug infestation thing and a mule slaughter thing, here will be a coffee shortage of epic proportions. Tea people will point and laugh until the tea shortage kicks in.

5. The US Mint will cease penny production. The New(est) Dollar coin will look and feel like 100 pennies taped together.

6. Calculator watches will come back in style.

7. 50% of the US population is going to be upset about the election results. 100% of Ron Paul supporters are going to be upset about the election results.

8. Shit tornados. Everywhere.

9. It will rain on September 26th in Lancaster, OH.

10. Harrison Ford will go into a sex induced coma. He will only awaken when George Lucas swears to God that he will allow someone else to write and direct the final Star Wars trilogy.

HolyJuan’s 2007 Predictions

I hate people who make vague predictions. You’ll see them popping up over the next couple of days. “A major weather event will strike the East Coast causing death and destruction.” Or bland, technological predictions, “Vista will be as buggy as Windows 95/98/2000/ME/XP. People will still be using XP in 2010 rather then upgrading.”

The theory (mine at least) is to make very specific and outrageous predictions that will happen within a small time frame. Leave a little bit of wriggle room so that if things don’t come out exactly as predicted, you can still point to the parts of your guess that were dead on.

Though I don’t condone the use of it, you might want to throw in a dead ringer prediction that anyone could have guessed. I suggest adding a sprinkling of details that make your dead ringer stand out.

It’s also a good idea to predict things that are not going to happen.

HolyJuan’s 2007 Predictions

1. Harrison Ford will die on location in Java while filming the, now final, Indiana Jones film. The accident will be off set, but he will be in costume.

2. A rogue wave kills over 200 after it strikes a cruise liner this summer. This incident is made more painful when it is revealed the Captain called passengers on the deck to witness the wave as it traveled towards the ship.

3. Bird Flu will not have an effect on the world’s population… this year.

4. Scarlett Johansson will overdose on heroine. It will not kill her, but she will disappear from the public eye for the rest of the year.

5. Britney Spears will get back together with K-Fed over the children.

6. Britney Spears will dump K-Fed twenty days later when he reveals that he has gotten some other tramp knocked up.

7. Congress will introduce a bill requiring that all pornography on the internet will need to be re-located under new .sex website address. The only positive thing that will come out of this failed resolution is a better definition of pornography.

8. A World of Warcraft serial killer will emerge, not online, but in real life. As a Paladin, he will kill off 13 Hoard players. Many victims will not be found for days as they rarely come out of their rooms anyways.

$. The number nine will be struck from the world’s vocabulary and replaced with the dollar sign.

10. I will publish my first book, “The Tales of Allen Knob.” The 10 people that read it will suggest the other 6,525,170,254 people in the world stay as far away as possible from it.