tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-112889112024-03-13T14:18:22.480-04:00HolyJuanMostly facts. Some hazy recollections. A few downright fabrications. And I'm not even a journalist.HolyJuanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02657032956798346089noreply@blogger.comBlogger1491125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11288911.post-76846552771865717372024-02-17T10:17:00.000-05:002024-02-17T10:17:35.709-05:00The Container and The ContentsWe took a Spring Break trip to Myrtle Beach two years before we turned 21. That was the awkward time of wanting to acquire alcohol right before being legally able to buy it. I had tasted the devil’s sweat and couldn’t wait to do it again without worrying about getting busted. When on home turf, there were always older friends to buy or bars that friend’s dad owned. On the road, it was a little tougher. That’s why we decided to take our own. Not in bottles, cans or in wine skins. But in a 5 gallon, insulated coffee dispenser in the form of Hairy Buffalo.<br /><br />There are two parts of this story: The Container and The Contents.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">The Container</span><br /><br />Eric went to school at Miami of Ohio’s Western campus. Or as it’s know to those who really care, The School of Interdisciplinary Studies/Western College Program at Miami University in Oxford, Ohio. We knew it as the hippy side of Miami U. It’s a very liberal college where everyone seemed to have long hair (back when it wasn’t fashionable) and hairy armpits (which is never fashionable.) Notwithstanding my mocking, it was a wonderful school and Eric loved it.<br /><br />During Eric’s tenure at Western, Folgers Coffee had a marketing campaign aimed at getting college kids addicted to coffee again. (This was back when Starbucks only had 125 stores. They were all within three blocks of each other, but you get my drift.) To get the kids addiction rolling, they strategically placed 5 gallon, insulated, <a href="http://www.instawares.com/Slate-Blue-Camtainer-5-Gallon.11-0058.0.7.htm"> coffee dispensers</a> all around the Miami and Western campuses. In the mornings, a truck would drive around with full containers. A dude would climb out of the truck, unchain the hopefully empty 5 gallon container, replace it with a full container, refill the cups and toss the empty container back in the truck. It would take the guy about ninety seconds to complete the transaction.<br /><br />You may not know this, but Eric has the unique ability to borrow a 5 gallon, insulated, coffee dispenser off the back of a truck in about thirty seconds. Though it was not in his plans, the one he borrowed was full of hot coffee. For you that are unfamiliar, five gallons of hot coffee weighs about 41.8 lbs. With the container at a slim 16 pounds, he was lugging a total hot load of 57.8 lbs. If you did not check out the link above, you will not know that the container was tall and thin with handles at the top. One would have to lug the container with arms hanging down and legs spread apart in a sort of half crab walk.<br /><br />Eighty seconds into his delivery, the coffee dude turned around to see a long haired asshole, half crab walking across the green carrying off one of his containers of coffee. Eric had a fifty second lead and all the guy could do was yell and take a few worthless steps in Eric’s direction.<br /><br />I’m sure this container, God knows where it is today, could tell a number of stories of the original coffee that was drank from it and the dozens of other liquids that filled it during it’s time in Eric’s dorm room, then law school and perhaps all the way to Chicago. Since the container is not here, I will tell the one story that I know.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">The Contents</span><br /><br />I think the whole reason we decided to take Hairy Buffalo was based on the fear of getting busted for speeding on the way down to Myrtle Beach and having the cops search our car and take away any bottles of liquor. Somehow, a huge five gallon container of red liquor fortified punch would slip by the eye of Deputy Dawg in his search for contraband.<br /><br />Somehow, Eric had acquired an insulated, five gallon container that would be perfect for transporting hairy buffalo. It had a locking lid and a spigot at the bottom for easy dispensing. We were divided up into two groups: those finding the required alcohol and those buying the fruit and mixers. I can’t remember what group I was in. What I do remember is that Russ was in the latter group and arrived at Eric’s house with rhubarb. Rhubarb? What the fuck is rhubarb? Rhubarb is basically a weed that you find next to okra in the Natural Foods section of the supermarket. See, Russ had been eating Rhubarb for years in his mom’s cherry-rhubarb pie. As a pie, it was like tasty celery swimming with cherries in a crust. Why wouldn’t it taste good in a hairy buff? For one thing, you have to drown rhubarb in sugar to make it palatable. It’s also a good idea to bake it as well. Russ wouldn’t have any of that and chopped it up along with the watermelon and strawberries.<br /><br />The dudes who were in charge of alcohol did well and came back with various bottles of alcohol as well as sugary liquors like DeKuypers. A fine mix of alcohol to mix with the juices and the other fruit and the fucking rhubarb which I’m sure is a vegetable.<br /><br />So we placed the 5 gallon container in the middle of Eric’s mom’s priceless, hand-woven Turkish carpet and began to pour the bottle of liquor in it. We had dumped about four bottles in when someone noticed that the container was not filling up. That statement made everyone shut up just long enough for us to hear the noise of liquid pouring out on to a priceless, hand-woven Turkish carpet. We had cleaned and rinsed the container out and in doing so the convenient spigot at the bottom of the container was open and the liquor was pouring out and on to the thirsty carpet.<br /><br />This was a problem for two reasons: First, almost a third of the alcohol was not going to be leaving Ohio. Second, we just figured out how to turn priceless rug into a less-price rug. Eric was a little pissed off, but shit, it was his container. He should have checked the integrity of the tap before handing it over.<br /><br />We closed the tap and pulled the container away from the spillage area. There was a growing two foot diameter stain. Towels were brought in and we scrubbed and cleaned as best we could. I’m unsure if Zud is the best stain remover for Turkish carpets, but that’s what we found under the kitchen sink.<br /><br />We cleaned the top as best we could and then rolled back the carpet to see what had happened to the underside. The padding under the carpet was unlike anything I had ever seen. It was like a natural mesh of unwoven reeds or weeds or jute. Whatever it was, it was soaked in liquor. The natural material had taken a liking to the liquor and wasn’t about to let go of the red coloration. We soaked up what we could and laid the carpet back down.<br /><br />There was still a red stain on the carpet at the point of impact. It was about the size of the bottom of a vacuum cleaner. As luck would have it, Eric had a vacuum cleaner and we placed it directly over the stain. No one would ever suspect a thing. At least until we were out of state. Three hours later we were out of state with a 5 gallon, insulated coffee container that was not full enough of hairy buffalo.<br /><br />There is much more to tell about this Myrtle Beach Trip: Tony’s sunburn, the MMS, the pummeling on the beach, Shag, Vertical Smile, Papa’s Pasta Palace, and the Oil Leak. But let me leave you with this: After two days the slices of rhubarb grew fuzzy and with the addition of alcohol still tasted like shit. Who the f puts rhubarb in a f’ing hairy buffalo?<br /><br />**** *******<br />Editor's Update<br /><br />I found a photo of the dudes from the Spring Break trip.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_idzsaV6c7aM/RYX_TNaXufI/AAAAAAAAADM/AsioH5-yjVk/s1600-h/Spring+Break.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_idzsaV6c7aM/RYX_TNaXufI/AAAAAAAAADM/AsioH5-yjVk/s400/Spring+Break.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5009690866002409970" /></a><br /><br />From left to right: Eric, Brett, Russ, Greg and Tony. Kit is smack dab in the middle. (I'm taking the photo. I might have been wearing a t-shirt that said "Nothing phases a ceramic engineer.")<br /><br />Brett reminded me that it was the bananas in the Hairy Buff that went fuzzy. The rhubarb just absorbed the alcohol and converted it to starch.HolyJuanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02657032956798346089noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11288911.post-84929814518490978822024-02-17T10:16:00.000-05:002024-02-17T10:16:38.392-05:00REAL College EssentialsScrew the laptop and mini-fridge. Here are the real essentials that every college student should own.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Shampoo Bottle Pee Detector</span><br />This device is embedded in your shampoo and/or conditioner cap and beeps to let you know when someone has peed in your shampoo bottle. It happens more than you think and your shiny locks aren’t always because of rinsing and repeating.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Condom Wrapper Gum </span><br />These innocent pieces of gum come in packaging that look like condom wrappers. If you are not getting any, you can leave them laying around and act like you are. If you parents are visiting and find real condom wrappers, you can say they are gum. If you are banging a chick and smell wintergreen, you might want to pull out before you "blow your bubble."<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Marijuana/Daisy Hybrid Plants </span><br />This plant looks like daisies, but smokes like marijuana. Grow weed without getting caught. Give your boyfriend/girlfriend a gift that keeps on giving. Comes with Baby’s Breath rolling papers.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Stall Saver</span><br />A necessity for the dorms. Fake boots and pant legs that sit in the bathroom stall so you can save a spot for yourself for the cafeteria food induced ass explosion. Those other schmucks will see the boots under the stall and wait for the "person" to finish as they listen to the pre-recorded grunts and groans that emanate from the hidden mp3 player. After lunch, just walk by those suckers waiting in line and pass the time with the rolled up playboy in the boot.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />"Walk-of-Shame" Survival Kit</span><br />Kit includes: change of clothes, sunglasses, aspirin, map of campus, list of pillow talk conversation starters and fake phone number. (See Sorority Girl Initiation Kit for pregnancy tests.)<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Practice Sheep Genitalia </span><br />Great for hopeful Fraternity rushees. Don’t look foolish when confronted with a sheep for the first time during rush week. Use these ultra realistic sheep parts to work on your grip and trust technique.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Cumstain Sheets</span><br />These sheets make dorm sleeping tranquil. 300 thread count, Egyptian sheets are pre-printed with cumstains to ward off agile roommates looking to hook up in every nook and cranny of the dorm room.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Sorority Girl Initiation Kit </span><br />Comes with "Freshman 15" weight scale that automatically deducts fifteen pounds, 'Idiot's Guide to Bulimia' handbook with extra long tongue depressor and twelve pack pregnancy tests.HolyJuanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02657032956798346089noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11288911.post-16608100158690183272024-02-17T10:04:00.001-05:002024-02-17T10:05:22.489-05:00Your Birthday and the Date Nine Months Before It<p><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><b>CAUTION:</b> The following charts show dates and what the date was nine months (40 weeks) before that date. If you look up your birthday, you will see a date that is very close to when you were conceived i.e. when your parents were getting it on. This information can be startling to some as they see they were conceived on New Years Eve, Christmas, Father's Day, or on your Mom's birthday (gross, Dad, that's not what she wanted.)</span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">You have been warned.</span></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoRv5QWvwKJDmVBPN4gqQ8f0_3XYkmxeUeQV6zDUJBbMfADfPdETIXxgQGs9-l30_m7ztEQVc5gFADNorCNnLemHye314AowYALORW3a5yEK70hYOeniZelcGf7FUR4xSYLXF6WEY1rtVWE8_Kmr1gccLxRVYwt1uhyphenhyphen8HMWUUYI-kL1u9Er_wGuQ/s760/Screenshot%202024-02-17%20095359.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="597" data-original-width="760" height="449" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoRv5QWvwKJDmVBPN4gqQ8f0_3XYkmxeUeQV6zDUJBbMfADfPdETIXxgQGs9-l30_m7ztEQVc5gFADNorCNnLemHye314AowYALORW3a5yEK70hYOeniZelcGf7FUR4xSYLXF6WEY1rtVWE8_Kmr1gccLxRVYwt1uhyphenhyphen8HMWUUYI-kL1u9Er_wGuQ/w571-h449/Screenshot%202024-02-17%20095359.png" width="571" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicPHdDdt5uBaD2kMJWW-iPkJmzDG3BoS7WS9-ZDT-oiATSTGhnIp4VjfmFu7-ra4RKSf6EXvO_fd71jdz33CrWZ_lHmtu8bPQuaqwLFO3_a75mTfkOYXfPqFtBwgOETBH05cxRnA9OBdgbFOa9GPsKRkOmiiSdXEoo5sSuUK603b2dq9uHndNgCQ/s749/Screenshot%202024-02-17%20095408.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="591" data-original-width="749" height="450" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicPHdDdt5uBaD2kMJWW-iPkJmzDG3BoS7WS9-ZDT-oiATSTGhnIp4VjfmFu7-ra4RKSf6EXvO_fd71jdz33CrWZ_lHmtu8bPQuaqwLFO3_a75mTfkOYXfPqFtBwgOETBH05cxRnA9OBdgbFOa9GPsKRkOmiiSdXEoo5sSuUK603b2dq9uHndNgCQ/w572-h450/Screenshot%202024-02-17%20095408.png" width="572" /></a></div><br /><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><br /></span><p></p>HolyJuanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02657032956798346089noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11288911.post-83717769798980475542023-02-26T11:00:00.001-05:002023-02-26T11:00:19.339-05:00This is a Testing Situation: Interviews with my classmates<p> I've been interviewing my classmates in preparation for our 35th reunion. Check them out here: </p><p><a href="https://anchor.fm/doug-powhida">https://anchor.fm/doug-powhida</a></p><p><br /></p>HolyJuanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02657032956798346089noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11288911.post-5715596029773066622022-12-20T10:49:00.002-05:002022-12-20T10:49:47.381-05:00Caturday<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFLLX6nKY26rUkByiFHs-k-GAyTsqMi0BOkrfBFUCs6hZ7E0NHzwfK_AVfMwcOBU5LLEO4j6LI1tnJ6i9dhHSoCD96HbJ_0QLDECHFOyz2KNvh45DKXs9mBNU5Lbt_IVvOUIlPoAAUPN87P90akl0_lbQhSWukloOEMZBWzy4mga4giwTmB4k/s3653/PXL_20221220_154557814.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2437" data-original-width="3653" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFLLX6nKY26rUkByiFHs-k-GAyTsqMi0BOkrfBFUCs6hZ7E0NHzwfK_AVfMwcOBU5LLEO4j6LI1tnJ6i9dhHSoCD96HbJ_0QLDECHFOyz2KNvh45DKXs9mBNU5Lbt_IVvOUIlPoAAUPN87P90akl0_lbQhSWukloOEMZBWzy4mga4giwTmB4k/s320/PXL_20221220_154557814.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p>HolyJuanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02657032956798346089noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11288911.post-20970810865624750162022-11-15T23:10:00.002-05:002022-11-15T23:10:12.209-05:00A rake with a flashlight<p> This is a rake with a flashlight attached.</p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5IHcWLgCdg91s6qHOP7wbxTTDZ8D3vAJGV4aBCuH2mko5slpMxcm3q7FqoigTbfH2zMT5R6KpPs4lnNtFqPZpBz1XlVMvlFifQ2M1rVFAX5ZmJ-ZFpS-kmGjFQdtLn-OT2A1WwP4FaRCB_KpY_tHh02IuHKaZ3r2F-BZc0BF43bAOBMDlun8/s4032/a%20rake%20with%20flashlight%20attached.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="2268" height="508" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5IHcWLgCdg91s6qHOP7wbxTTDZ8D3vAJGV4aBCuH2mko5slpMxcm3q7FqoigTbfH2zMT5R6KpPs4lnNtFqPZpBz1XlVMvlFifQ2M1rVFAX5ZmJ-ZFpS-kmGjFQdtLn-OT2A1WwP4FaRCB_KpY_tHh02IuHKaZ3r2F-BZc0BF43bAOBMDlun8/w286-h508/a%20rake%20with%20flashlight%20attached.jpg" width="286" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p>HolyJuanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02657032956798346089noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11288911.post-18427769258866687902022-05-30T11:23:00.001-04:002022-05-30T12:33:04.712-04:00I had a vasectomy todayI had a vasectomy today. Here are the basics of how my day went: <div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Woke up screaming. </li><li> While getting the kids ready for school, I read the “Pre-Surgery” instructions. I learned that I was supposed to be scrubbing my loins for the past five days. I’m sure my cursory “soap across the balls” does not meet their definition of scrubbing. </li><li> Kissed Miss Sally goodbye and confirmed that she would be picking me up at noon thirty. </li><li> Got in the shower and gave myself a good 2 ½ days worth of scrubbing action. By 1867 standards, I would be blind now. </li><li> I shaved my balls. </li><li>I got out of the… hold on, what? You SHAVED YOUR BALLS?
That’s right. The instructions said to shave them and they got shaved. I pulled out my grooming kit. Knocked the shrubbery down as short as the guard on the electric trimmer would let me and then I jumped in the shower. Balls are not a good medium to be dragging a sharp blade across. And the reason I know this is because I spent a full 30 minutes bent over and staring at my ugly, wrinkly, bigger than average, dropped melon shaped nutsack. Men, don’t ever examine your balls with your eyes. Check for cancer, but do so with your eyes closed. Women, kudos to you for even getting within three feet of that withered fruit, change purse.
Shaving balls is like trying to wrap a coat hanger around a whipped cream covered balloon. As soon as pressure is applied, skin around the man grapes distorts and deflects away from the blade. I found it best to stretch the loose skin in a tennis racquet stringer to create the proper tension on the surface. Let's just say I pulled things taut and did the best I could. Thirty minutes later, I was done. </li><li> I got out of the shower, got dressed and went to Target to buy <s>tidy</s>tighty-whities like the instructions suggested. I also bought two bags of frozen peas. And Swedish Fish (Comfort food, not for a dissolving stitches replacement). </li><li> Back at home, I put on tidy-whities for the first time in 25 years. At least now <s>tidy</s>tighty-whities come in different colors. </li><li> Sally picked me up and we drove to the MD office.
Checked in and only waited 2 minutes before being called back.
The MD assistant was very, very cute. We went to room #7.
She told me to remove my clothes below the waist and hang them up. It was then that I realized that she would be seeing my shaved balls and cold, shriveled penis. Usually, I bone up very easily and would be concerned/embarrassed about that, but I was nervous and cold and more concerned that the cute chick would have trouble deciding which was balls and which was penis. </li><li> I got undressed and sat on the table. She came back in and gave me a sheet to cover my shame. I laid back and she got everything in the room ready for the surgery. From this point on, I did not look down and instead counted the holes in the ceiling tiles. </li><li> Doc came in and we had some chit chat about the music on the radio and that he was going to feel me up like he did at the previous examination.
He then gave me a good scrubbing with some soapy something. I haven’t had that kind of action from a guy in months. </li><li> Surgical pads were placed around my loins so that only my balls were showing. The pads had adhesive on them, but I didn’t find that out until the end. </li><li> There was a shot, some numbing, a little pressure, a little more pressure some chit chat. Then another shot, more pressure, a lot of talk about my work and then it was done. </li><li> Stitch, stitch. That quick. </li></ul> About fifteen minutes from the first numbing shot to doc walking out of the room.
Cute girl cleaned up and took the surgical pads off and hoo-boy they have a little stick to them. One of them goes right across the penis and though it didn’t hurt, it was like a leash giving me a tug. And not the kind of tug you get at the Asian Spa at the airport.
Cute assistant left so I could get dressed. (I don’t get this… she just was in close proximity to my junk for 30 minutes and she leaves so I can put my clothes on?)
She came back in and read me the TO DO and NOT TO DO, told me that swelling was normal, slapped me on the ass and shoved me out the door. </div><div><br /></div><div>Since I got home, I’ve been rotating frozen peas on and off my groin every 20 minutes. I’ve taken Advil, though we picked up a prescription pain reliever just in case.
I’ve played Wii. I watched Caddy Shack. I messed around on the computer. The kids came home from pre-school and Greg was as interested as a six year old could be about testicles and what the hell happened to me. He used at least five pronunciations for testicles and he slipped a “balls” in there once or twice with me correcting him to use the proper word.
I’m not sure where he learned to say balls.</div>HolyJuanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02657032956798346089noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11288911.post-41592482982175956002021-06-19T22:25:00.004-04:002021-06-19T22:25:55.857-04:00Oversimplified Holyboard RulesPut boards 8' or two board lengths apart.
In 1v1 game, both throw from same side and switch ends. In 2v2, teammate is on opposite side, do not switch ends.
Last team to score throws first.
On your turn, throw all three washers, one at a time.
Points are 1, 3, 5 for the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd hole.
Your washers cancel opponent's in same hole.
Play to 21
Must score 21 with 3rd washer or have 21 and have your 3rd washer land on the board and stick.
If you go over 21, you go back that number of points from your starting score that round.
Email holyjuan@gmail.com with questions.
HolyJuanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02657032956798346089noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11288911.post-41121717306229821232021-03-13T11:03:00.001-05:002021-03-13T11:03:32.187-05:00Installation Underwear<p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">In December of 2012, Keegan and I were in Las Vegas for an
exhibit installation at the Discovery Children's Museum. We were wrapping up
the installation, but had to extend our stay due to some delays and city
inspections that, oddly enough, took place over the weekend. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-476cbprdsI4/YEzgHRSJ_nI/AAAAAAAA-CY/gK308PchuB8U2exqt5IKnSKzRMSvxRO9QCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/Doug%2Band%2BKeegan.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1670" data-original-width="2048" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-476cbprdsI4/YEzgHRSJ_nI/AAAAAAAA-CY/gK308PchuB8U2exqt5IKnSKzRMSvxRO9QCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/Doug%2Band%2BKeegan.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Saturday night after a successful inspection.</td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: helvetica;"></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><br /></span></span></p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">On that Sunday, we decided to go to see Hoover Dam after we
did some laundry. Keegan said to me, “You must be out of clean underwear by
now,” and I replied, “Duh, of course,” secretly smirking because I know the
secret of wearing the same pair of underwear four times. The hotel didn’t do
laundry over the weekend, so we went in search of a laundry mat. Las Vegas must
have some larger aversion of Sunday laundry because we went to three different laundry
mats and they were all closed. The third location we tried was next to a Target,
so Keegan said that we could just buy underwear, so we did. I wish I had photos
of Keegan and I going through the underwear rack and gleefully comparing the
different brands, sizes, and colors. More than likely, Target probably has security
footage of it that they watch when in need of entertainment.<o:p></o:p></span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Underwear purchased, we headed to Hoover Dam for a day of tourist fun and then traveled home a few days later.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lAthkVPSngw/YEzgJgUb-GI/AAAAAAAA-Cg/zmhx0I6QOtoBOfAXVrsyQPcVg94YxAZjQCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/IMG_1172.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="2048" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lAthkVPSngw/YEzgJgUb-GI/AAAAAAAA-Cg/zmhx0I6QOtoBOfAXVrsyQPcVg94YxAZjQCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/IMG_1172.JPG" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Keegan on the bypass bridge overlooking Hoover Dam</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7QZRxdjM6_o/YEzgIVRu4gI/AAAAAAAA-Cc/a0zMbpsemNQedYvNosk5XKDVycjfzZJRgCLcBGAsYHQ/s793/hoover-dam-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="793" data-original-width="567" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7QZRxdjM6_o/YEzgIVRu4gI/AAAAAAAA-Cc/a0zMbpsemNQedYvNosk5XKDVycjfzZJRgCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/hoover-dam-2.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas</td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">After returning to work for a week, Keegan and I were summoned
to the front desk. We had turned in our trip expenses and the </span><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Finance Woman</span><span style="font-family: helvetica;"> in charge
of going through the receipts had some questions for us. She had clearly been
interrogating Keegan already, because he looked physically and mentally spent.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Keegan had tried to explain to Finance Woman that it was not
his fault that the trip was extended, and we didn’t have any other alternatives.
She said that she didn’t care what the circumstances were, but he couldn’t
expense underwear. I quickly understood that Keegan had put his underwear on his
expenses for reimbursement. I had not. I believe Keegan had purchased a few other things at Target
that were normal expense items and, shit, why not get the underwear paid for as
well. Our company would normally pay for clothes washing services, but it seems
they had a real problem with paying $9.99 for three pairs of underwear. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Keegan tried to argue that, if he had used the hotel washing
services, it would have cost $30 and he was actually saving the company money. She
didn’t buy that. She said the company would not pay for clothes the employees kept.
That’s when Keegan came up with a brilliant idea: he would give the underwear
back to the company. They would become <b>Installation Underwear</b>. We would keep
them in the job box, and if an employee out on an installation ever needed a pair, due to an extended
install or pants soiling event, they could use a loaner pair of Installation
Underwear. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">It was a game changing innovation.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">She said no.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Keegan was not reimbursed for his underwear, but I think
him paying $9.99 for story that will last a lifetime is completely worth it. <o:p></o:p></span></p><br /><p></p>HolyJuanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02657032956798346089noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11288911.post-80001451401377409192020-12-29T11:27:00.001-05:002020-12-29T12:42:47.048-05:00Christian Group Plans to Change the Names of the Days of the Week<span style="font-family: helvetica;">COLUMBUS (FD) – The names for the days of the week are based on old pagan beliefs and mythology and one Ohio Christian coalition group wants to do something about it. The Christian Guardians of His Word are a collection of churches from around Ohio and West Virginia. Church leaders meet on a quarterly basis to discuss regional issues and politics. An emergency meeting was called after one of the members was looking over their child's shoulder at their virtual classroom, saw the teacher's "days of the week" lesson, and realized that the days of the week are based on “weird gods and heathen worship.”<br />
<br />
The group decided to create a new set of Christian friendly names for the days of the week and then petition their state and federal representatives to force the government to make it official. The team of representatives from 37 churches gathered at Our Peoples of God’s Church in Columbus, Ohio to decide upon the new, Christian friendly names.<br />
<br />
Debate started immediately when someone suggested changing Sunday to "God's Day." It seemed like an obvious change, until one member shouted out that every day is God’s day and they should not narrow it down to one single day. For an hour, debate raged between going with the assumption that everyone would understand that everyday is God’s day and the opposite end of the spectrum of calling Sunday, "God's Day 1" and going through the week in order "God's Day 2", "God's Day 3" and so on. In the end it was decided to call Sunday “Church Day” with the understanding that everyone knows that every day is God's Day.<br />
<br />
For the next several hours, the rest of the days of the week were pounded out. Monday would become "Work Day." Tuesday would become "Spirit Day." There was a difference of opinion if Wednesday or Thursday should be called "Wash Day" as different people bathe and do laundry on different days of the week. As many members attend their individual churches on Wednesday as well, they decided to replace Wednesday with “Wash Up Day” to play upon the words sounding like “worship day.” Thursday is to become known as "Love Day" and everyone agreed to call Friday "Pizza Night Day." Saturday, of course, will be known as "The Day Before Church Day."<br />
<br />
The Christian Guardians of His Word have put together a statement of suggestion and will begin petitioning their representatives in the new year on Love Day the 4th in God’s Month 2.</span>HolyJuanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02657032956798346089noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11288911.post-14844208699885333762020-12-06T08:34:00.000-05:002020-12-06T11:07:47.822-05:00How to Download Your Playlist from Grooveshark (for Chrome)<div style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 4.3pt;"><span face="Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" style="line-height: 17.15pt;"><span style="color: #222222;">Howdy all! I was contacted by a nice person at Cinch Solution about my broken link to Grooveshark in the article below. For those of you that remember, Grooveshark was a music streaming site that ran into trouble with copyright. It was a great service, but probably because it was breaking the rules. I posted the information below back in 2015 to help folks recover their playlists or similar before the site went down. </span></span></div><div style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 4.3pt;"><span face="Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" style="line-height: 17.15pt;"><span style="color: #222222;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 4.3pt;"><span face="Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" style="line-height: 17.15pt;"><span style="color: #222222;">If you would like to know more about what happened to Grooveshark, check out this link:</span></span></div><div style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 4.3pt;"><span face="Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" style="line-height: 17.15pt;"><span style="color: #222222;"><a data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://www.cinchsolution.com/what-happened-to-grooveshark-com/&source=gmail&ust=1607356792814000&usg=AFQjCNE0jvxJlSDAM4zKYrxCZS8By-lSVw" href="https://www.cinchsolution.com/what-happened-to-grooveshark-com/" style="color: #1155cc; font-family: Arial; font-size: small;" target="_blank">https://www.<wbr></wbr>cinchsolution.com/what-<wbr></wbr>happened-to-grooveshark-com/</a></span></span></div><div style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 4.3pt;"><span face="Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" style="line-height: 17.15pt;"><br /></span></div><div style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 4.3pt;"><span face="Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" style="line-height: 17.15pt;">Boy, I really miss writing to you all. If only there was something I could do about that.</span></div><div style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 4.3pt;"><span face="Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" style="line-height: 17.15pt;"><br /></span></div><div style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 4.3pt;"><span face="Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" style="line-height: 17.15pt;">Love, HolyJuan</span></div><div style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 4.3pt;"><span face="Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" style="line-height: 17.15pt;"><br /></span></div><div style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 4.3pt;"><span face="Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" style="line-height: 17.15pt;">-------------</span></div><div style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 4.3pt;"><span face="Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" style="line-height: 17.15pt;"><br /></span></div><div style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 4.3pt;"><span face="Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" style="line-height: 17.15pt;"><span style="color: #222222;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 4.3pt;">
<span face="Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" style="line-height: 17.15pt;"><span style="color: #222222;">This is from reddit user </span><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"><span style="color: black;">akahomerjay42</span></span><span style="line-height: 17.15pt;">
<a href="http://www.reddit.com/user/akahomerjay42">http://www.reddit.com/user/akahomerjay42</a> </span></span><br />
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: 4.3pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; margin: 0in 0in 4.3pt;">
<span face="Verdana, sans-serif" style="color: #222222; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 17.15pt;">Grooveshark was a HTML5 website, so it stored data in the browser "Local
Storage.". If you haven't cleared your cache since you last logged into Grooveshark, you can probably retrieve it.</span></div>
<div style="background: white; line-height: 17.15pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span face=""Verdana","sans-serif"" style="color: #222222; font-size: 10.5pt;">1) Go to <a href="http://grooveshark.com/" target="_blank">www.grooveshark.com </a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span face=""Verdana","sans-serif"" style="color: #222222; font-size: 10.5pt;">2)
Open Chrome's Developer Tools by hitting (CTRL+SHIFT+I) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span face=""Verdana","sans-serif"" style="color: #222222; font-size: 10.5pt;">3)
Click on "Resources" tab <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span face=""Verdana","sans-serif"" style="color: #222222; font-size: 10.5pt;">4)
Expand the "Local Storage" tree <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span face=""Verdana","sans-serif"" style="color: #222222; font-size: 10.5pt;">5)
Click on "<a href="http://grooveshark.com/"><span style="color: #0079d3; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">http://grooveshark.com</span></a>"
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span face=""Verdana","sans-serif"" style="color: #222222; font-size: 10.5pt;">6)
Find the key that looks something like "Library1414435" (it will be a 7+
digit number) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span face=""Verdana","sans-serif"" style="color: #222222; font-size: 10.5pt;">7)
Look at its "value" (it's a JSON string). You should see something
like this "{"lastModified":.....blah blah artist name... <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span face=""Verdana","sans-serif"" style="color: #222222; font-size: 10.5pt;">8)
Right-Click on that value<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span face=""Verdana","sans-serif"" style="color: #222222; font-size: 10.5pt;">9) Click
"Edit Value"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span face=""Verdana","sans-serif"" style="color: #222222; font-size: 10.5pt;">10) Copy it by hitting CTRL+C <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span face=""Verdana","sans-serif"" style="color: #222222; font-size: 10.5pt;">11) Now go to the webiste </span><a href="https://json-csv.com/" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.8667px;"><span style="color: #0079d3; text-decoration: none;">https://json-csv.com/</span></a><span class="apple-converted-space" face="Verdana, sans-serif" style="color: #222222; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.8667px;"> and </span><span face="Verdana, sans-serif" style="color: #222222; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 17.15pt;">Paste (CTRL +V) the contents of your clipboard into the window</span><span class="apple-converted-space" face="Verdana, sans-serif" style="color: #222222; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 17.15pt;"> </span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span face=""Verdana","sans-serif"" style="color: #222222; font-size: 10.5pt;">12)
Download the resulting .CSV file </span></div>
<div style="background: white; line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span face=""Verdana","sans-serif"" style="color: #222222; font-size: 10.5pt;">13) Open the .CSV file in Office or Excel<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span face=""Verdana","sans-serif"" style="color: #222222; font-size: 10.5pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background: white; line-height: 17.15pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span face=""Verdana","sans-serif"" style="color: #222222; font-size: 10.5pt;">Thanks, </span><span face="'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" style="line-height: 22.8667px;">akahomerjay42! </span><a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/Music/comments/34goss/meta_grooveshark_shut_down_forever_today/cqupd1g" style="background-color: white; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 22.8667px;">http://www.reddit.com/r/Music/comments/34goss/meta_grooveshark_shut_down_forever_today/cqupd1g</a><br />
<br /></div>
HolyJuanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02657032956798346089noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11288911.post-41895739249805856632020-09-05T13:13:00.002-04:002020-09-05T13:13:27.944-04:002007 Honda Accord strange electrical issue with solution<p> What has become of HolyJuan.com when I am posting automotive repair?</p><p><br /></p><p>We have a 2007 Honda Accord. One day it had the following issues:</p><p>headlights not working</p><p>blinkers not working</p><p>rear passenger side window not working</p><p>remote entry not working</p><p>Intermittent windshield</p><p>(could have been more issue but this was the lot of them)</p><p><br /></p><p>The engine still started, the hazard lights worked, and the regular windshield wipers worked.</p><p><br /></p><p>In questioning my son, he said he had left the driver's window open when it rained and the issues started the next day.</p><p><br /></p><p>In researching on the internet, it seemed there were several people that had slightly similar issues with various Honda make and models. Dissimilar electrical systems all having issues. Solutions given were to check fuses, replacing bulbs, and even to replace the whole fuse units under the hood and at the driver's side dash underside (yikes!) </p><p><br /></p><p>My solution was to pop out the power window controller and unplug both sets of wires. With the wires disconnected, everything not associated with that control panel worked again. I plugged the wires back in and everything worked again. Thinking I randomly fixed the issue with a loose wire, I popped the power window controller back in and everything stopped working. I removed it again. Removed the wires. Most everything worked. This time I left the turn signal, plugged in both sets of wires, and popped it back in. This time, the blinker stayed on and everything worked.</p><p><br /></p><p>I assume that I knocked the water out or rubbed the corrosion off or something in my plugging and unplugging. I left a tool in the glove compartment so that if it happens again, my son can temporarily fix it. If you remove the wires from the power window controller, the windows won't work, but he can get home with headlights and blinkers.</p><p><br /></p><p>I will continue to monitor this and update if needed.</p><p><br /></p><p>I hope this helps you! </p>HolyJuanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02657032956798346089noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11288911.post-5017653201609579612020-05-27T20:49:00.000-04:002020-05-27T20:49:11.931-04:00Why I like Thunderheist's "Jerk It" video By that-goPlease be aware that the video below is very suggestive and deserves to be played very loudly in the comfort of your home/apartment/cardboard box behind Starbucks with wifi reception. Not for work. Not to be shared except with me.<br />
<br />
I like this video. I have watched it several times and have come to understand myself a little bit better because of this video. I can only hope that you learn a little bit about yourself or that you learn that I am creepy. More creepy.<br />
<br />
Please absorb and remember to play this loud and alone:<br />
<iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/kbvKUEXNaDU" width="560"></iframe><br />
<br />
Wow. <br />
<br />
So here is my list of reasons for liking this, kind of in order as they appear in the video:<br />
<br />
Great beat<br />
Dancing girl<br />
Pretty girl<br />
No make up<br />
Freckles<br />
Clenched fist<br />
Handjob suggestion<br />
Eyes closed<br />
Boob shake<br />
Slow motion<br />
Sweat<br />
Awesome framing<br />
Detail to the twisting leg<br />
Hair stuck on lip<br />
Crinkled nose<br />
<br />
In the end, it's the crinkled nose that did it for me. I don't know why, but when a girl gives you the crinkled nose, it's pretty much on.HolyJuanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02657032956798346089noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11288911.post-54929160175482623202020-01-05T12:50:00.000-05:002020-01-05T12:50:49.971-05:00Belts and Babysitters<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As kids, we had several babysitters. Three of them were
siblings from the same family. I remember disliking the oldest sister (Cathy), liking
the middle sister (Carla), and having a crush on the youngest (Darla). They probably did not
get paid enough to watch the four of us. As a matter of fact, I’m sure you will
think the same after reading this.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One summer day, while we were being watched by Carla, the middle
sister, my brother Steve and I decided to make a rope out of belts and climb
out the second story window. We attached the belts together by just taking the holey
end of one belt, and attaching it to the buckle of another belt. When we ran
out of buckled belts, we just started tying them together. We tested the “rope”
by pulling on it, and our little tug-of-war seemed to stretch the rope, but not
break it. At the second-floor window, we tied the top belt to the bunk bed that
we had slid over to the window. We threw the other end out the window and it
almost reached the ground. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This was a bad idea and Steve and I both knew it. He said I
should try it first because I was lighter. I said he should try it first
because he was taller and would fall a shorter distance if the rope broke. We went
back and forth and finally concluded that neither one of us would go first.
Instead, we decided to pull a prank on Carla. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We pulled the belt rope back up in the house, took off the
bottom half of belts, and tied them around my waist with some slack belts trailing
off. The rest of the belt rope was then lowered out the window where it now
only reached half way down the side of the house.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I snuck outside and laid down on the ground under the
window. Steve ran to Carla, told her I fell, and ran with her outside to where
I was on the ground.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I cannot remember the exact details of what happened in the
next few moments or for the rest of the day. As she put her hands on me, I
remember jumping up and saying that we fooled her. Her reaction was probably 1%
relief and 99% anger. We got in a lot more trouble than we expected and spent
the rest of the day in our room. Carla told our parents and the Atari was taken away from us, probably for a week.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Looking back, that was a pretty good prank. I think we should
have received lesser punishment due to the creativity. Of course, if my kids
did it, I’d take their phones away, probably for a week. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><o:p></o:p></div>
<br />HolyJuanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02657032956798346089noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11288911.post-24596503404121646552019-12-03T07:00:00.000-05:002019-12-03T07:14:02.343-05:00Dynamo<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 12.65pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">To say that
Dynamo is the greatest dog ever would be true, but Jenn and Eric know that it
is better to share the sun with others than to take it all in and cast shadows.
Let us just say that Dynamo is in a First-Place tie with a lot of other dogs.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 12.65pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Dynamo left
us suddenly last Sunday. He was a good boy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 12.65pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But that is
not the first time that Dynamo left us. He’s quite good at it. This is Dynamo’s
story about when he died the first time. And like all good stories, this one
has a bear in it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 12.65pt; margin-bottom: 10.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">To ensure
that blame is not given and fingers are not pointed, we’ve changed Eric’s name
to “Bob” to protect his identity. And since the whole “Eric” thing is out of the
bag, I’ll just call Bob, “Eric,” for clarity.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Several
years ago, and many more if you were a dog, <span class="apple-converted-space">Dynamo
adopted Jenn and Eric when he randomly followed them home one night on one of
their walks. Jenn and Eric were happy to be adopted and saw many more walks and
adventures in their future together. Dynamo was completely on board with the
taking of walks and adventuring bit. </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As part of
the adventuring, Eric, his sister, and brother-in-law took Dynamo camping
in Kentucky to an area called Red River Gorge. It’s a beautiful place and
I highly recommend you go and check out the rolling hills, thick forests,
dangerous cliffs, streams, dangerously steep cliffs, wildlife, and deadly-dangerously
steep cliffs.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span> On a large, tree
covered hill, they all camped out, went hiking, and did things that humans and a rambunctious dog on a leash can do.<span style="text-align: center;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yj6vUR_iYhc/XeZMr7YHG6I/AAAAAAAAyWg/CO3BJYaLQ9wh2HHC9JDAp5SBlmFawSkyQCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/34124_1509247447975_5942099_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="600" height="300" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yj6vUR_iYhc/XeZMr7YHG6I/AAAAAAAAyWg/CO3BJYaLQ9wh2HHC9JDAp5SBlmFawSkyQCLcBGAsYHQ/s400/34124_1509247447975_5942099_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Towards
evening, the adults wanted to go watch the sunset and knew the viewing area was
too steep and dangerous for adventurous dogs, so they tied Dynamo up to a tree
and walked up and around and around and up to a ledge that was perfect for
not-dogs to watch a sunset. From their spot, they could still see their
campsite across the crevice</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and that gave them a sense of security that they could keep their eye on Dynamo and he would be OK. And as the sun does, it started to set.</span><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But Dynamo
missed his friends dearly. They were just across the way and he wanted to be
with them. He escaped his bonds and went tearing off in the direction of his
friends. Dogs at that age only know straight lines, and in running with
blind joy directly towards them, he fell off a 75-foot cliff. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">“Dynamo!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Eric ran to
the cliff edge. There was nothing but a huge, 75-foot drop into darkness and
silence. The cliff reversed under itself and he could not see or hear any sign of Dynamo far
below. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Dynamo had to be dead. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Eric looked for a way down,
but the cliff edge ran hundreds of feet in either direction and only got
steeper as it went in either direction. Eric and friends tried calling for Dynamo over the edge in several areas and heard nothing. With nightfall fully upon them and
with a heavy heart, they headed back to camp. There was no way down from their
location to the bottom of the cliff and he would need to come in from another area of the park to retrieve
Dynamo’s body.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Eric called
Jenn in the morning to tell her the horrible news. Such an awful thing to
deliver over the phone. The three hour drive back to Columbus had to be
difficult.<span class="apple-converted-space"> (Especially since Jenn’s last
words to him leaving with Dynamo were, </span>“Don’t let him fall off any
cliffs.”) While all three of the sad humans had to get back to Ohio that
morning, Eric explained that he would head back down to the park as soon as possible to
find Dynamo and bring him back. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In
Columbus, Eric studied the back-road maps and trails to determine his best
route to go off-path and retrieve Dynamo. (Whether or not Jenn told him not to
come back if he was without Dynamo is unknown and will not be discussed outside
of this mention.) But before he could head back down, there was a bear attack on a
hiker and the authorities announced the entire park would be closed while the
rangers attempted to “take care of” the bear. No one would be allowed
in until the park was made safer by one less bear. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Days passed.
The bear threat stayed orange or whatever bear threat level it needs to be to keep a
park shut down. And they waited. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">After two weeks, they got a
call from a ranger. While searching for the bear, there had been a dog sighting
by a ranger in another area of the park. Rangers went back, searched the area,
and found a dog that had about 5” of leash still attached to his collar. The
collar had a Franklin County dog tag registered to a Jenn and Eric, who were
owned by Dynamo. The registration had a phone number, and would you like to
come down and get your extremely friendly dog? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">By the time
they got down to the park, Dynamo had made a few new friends, but was not
hesitant to jump out of the ranger’s truck and immediately into their
Jeep where he was quickly wrapped in Jenn’s arms, never to be let go
again.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Dynamo was a little tattered
(some scratches here and there.) A bit hungry (he lost 15 pounds.) Somewhat
tired (he slept all three hours home.) But overall, a not dead, good boy. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And he remained a good boy. He
was a good boy for so many people for many years. So many friends. So many
walks. A new little human to take care of! So many adventures. It’s hard to
have such a good boy die once, and Dynamo died twice. But that means he got to
live twice, and that is more than we can ask of any dog.</span><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-P-o6rtz4-iw/XeZM6V4GLrI/AAAAAAAAyWk/7wjZLWdmbosqt71QkDFg3HmXPYTi-5dzACLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/DSC_0426.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1070" data-original-width="1600" height="266" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-P-o6rtz4-iw/XeZM6V4GLrI/AAAAAAAAyWk/7wjZLWdmbosqt71QkDFg3HmXPYTi-5dzACLcBGAsYHQ/s400/DSC_0426.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<br />HolyJuanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02657032956798346089noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11288911.post-22076016083600450162019-10-25T08:10:00.000-04:002019-10-25T08:10:18.491-04:00You Suck, Joe Show<br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It was September 15, 2001 and everyone was still reeling from 9/11. We
were standing in line outside the Newport Music Hall in Columbus, Ohio to see
David Byrne. It was his Look Into the Eyeball Tour. As we waited, a loud
religious nut, perched on a milk crate across the street, was prophesying the
end of the world. Many people in line wanted to make his prophesy come true. I
think everyone just wanted to escape for a little while. Jesus dude was not
helping.</span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-AU"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We got inside as the opening band was finishing up. I bought a 32oz
beer, which is a great buy because you don’t have to get in line as often.
Problem is that the beer gets piss warm, so you have to chug it. Then you have
to go stand in line for beer. And for the bathroom. We made our way to the
front of the room and found a spot, stage right, back about 20 feet.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-AU"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">David Byrne and his band sauntered out in gas station outfits,
embroidered names and all. They played.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-AU"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It was the best show I had ever seen. Still is.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-AU"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It could have been the mental state that we were in or it quite possible
was the best show ever. Either way, we were all floating a few inches above the
sticky floor. I get goosebumps thinking about it. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-AU"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Then at the midway point of the concert, the music stopped and Joe Show
came out on the stage. Joe Show is a DJ at a local Classic Rock station that
was sponsoring the show. For some reason, Joe Show was holding his bowling
league’s season wrap up party at the concert. He grabbed a mic and talked up
David and the band. He then started in about his bowling league and how special
it was to him. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-AU"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The audience plunked back down on the sticky floor and began to mumble.
He then asked David Byrne to help him hand out bowling trophies to the
“winners” in the bowling league. He handed David a card with names on it. David
seemed slightly amused and a bit nonplussed at the whole bit. Well, it was the
Midwest. The crowd was pissed. Yells at Joe Show started. “Get off the stage!”
“You suck Joe Show!” “No mo’ Joe Show!” Add a smattering of boos and profanity
and Joe got the idea. Joe took back the list from David and sped through the
last bit of the trophy handing out. He cleared the stage, but not before
handing out other bowling trophies to David, the band and the string section.
You rock, Joe Show. Really.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-AU"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Regaining composure, David jumped back into the show. In about thirty
seconds we all forgot about Joe’s self-indulgence. Again, the show rocked.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-AU"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A few days later, I was reliving the story about the concert to my
co-worker, Kindra. On a side note, I mentioned the whole bit about bowling and
trophies. She suggested I write a letter to the editor of the local alternative
paper. So I did. The letter to The Other Paper went like this:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-AU"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-AU"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">An open letter to Mr. David Byrne:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-AU"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Please accept these apologies from myself and the hundreds of others who
attended your concert Sept. 15 at the Newport Music Hall. It seems that a local
radio station thought it would be appropriate to distribute their bowling
league trophies in the middle of your concert, bringing the momentum of a
tremendous show to a screeching halt.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-AU"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I can only congratulate you for recovering that momentum with grace and
style, making the second half of your show even better than the first. Please
do not hold the actions of a few against the rest of us. We definitely want to
see you back in Columbus. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-AU"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Doug<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-AU"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">P.S. Idiots! Screw you Q-FM 96. And you suck, Joe Show.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-AU"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-AU"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I sent the letter in on a Monday. The weekly paper comes out on Thursday
and my letter was not in the editorial section. I was disappointed, but not
surprised. I had expected to get a phone call from the paper asking me if I
actually existed and if they could print my letter. And I mean really, who
cares about David Byrne anyways… Time passes.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-AU"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The phone rang at 6:10 a.m. It was the next Thursday. The letter had
been printed.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-AU"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">(Who knew?) The call was from the morning jocks on the radio station in
question. They wanted to get me on the air with Joe Show and poke fun at him
for his antics. I said it was too early and I had to get ready for work. “How
about 9:00 a.m.?” Yeah, I can do 9:00 a.m.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-AU"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yeah! I was going to be on the radio and we were all going to make fun
of Joe Show. Hurrah! I called all my friends to tell them to listen in to the
verbal beating.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-AU"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Little did I know.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-AU"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Around 8:45 a.m. they called me. They quickly reviewed what they wanted
to go down. Waggs and Elliot would introduce the bit, ask me for my side of the
story and then bring Joe Show on to mock him. Easy. I waited on hold, listening
to the DJs banter as DJs do. Then I was up. They spoke about the letter in the
paper and read some excerpts. I was introduced and gave my side of the story.
We all laughed. They then said that there was someone on the phone who wanted
to talk to me.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-AU"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“Doug, you are a dick.” Joe Show has a way with words.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-AU"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Joe told his side of the story. He claimed several things:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-AU"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">1. I was a dick. (I can see that.)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-AU"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">2. He, out his own pocket, paid for the 60 or so bowling leaguers at the
concert. (I had accused him of using free passes that could have gone to real
fans.)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-AU"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">3. He claimed that there was no booing and that everyone in the audience
LOVED the trophy ceremony. (No comment.)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-AU"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">4. He said that the trophy handing out to David, the band and the
strings was done by him running home before the concert and gathering up 10 of
his personal trophies. (I can’t dispute this, but who the f*ck would want a
trophy with Joe Show’s name on it?)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-AU"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">5. He claimed that David Byrne had come up with the idea about handing
out the trophies. (Oddly enough, I can believe this. Byrne is an odd cat. My
issue is that Show should have said thanks, but no thanks. Of course,
egotistical assholes could never say no to an opportunity like that.)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-AU"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And then the verbal beatings ensued. As Joe Show described his lame ass
side of the story, I tried to interject with my interpretations of his
recollections. The entire morning crew and Joe Show attacked and ripped me
sideways. I didn’t have a chance. They didn’t want to poke fun of Joe Show,
they wanted to make me look like an ass. Sadly, it worked. The volume on my
phone was turned down and no one heard my witty comebacks. I ended up looking
like someone who punched a quadriplegic in a wheel chair on her birthday.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-AU"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">At the end, I hung up and called my wife. She was very supportive.
“Honey, they made you look like an ass.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-AU"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Two years later during a reunion at Ohio University, my buddy Larry said
he had heard me on the radio six hours earlier. I said that was impossible. He
was positive. When his alarm clock radio went off in the morning, there I was,
talking about the David Byrne concert and how Joe Show had screwed it up. Turns
out it was a “Best of QFM-96.” Yeah, the best of. Larry said, “They made you
look like an ass.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-AU"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sigh. David Byrne has not been back to Columbus since.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-AU"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">YOU SUCK, JOE SHOW!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-AU"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">(Author’s note: Joe Show unexpectedly died in 2016. As soon as I heard
the news, I felt bad for the resentment I held for him all those years.
Whenever I got to tell this story, I remember explaining what an asshole Joe
Show was and in my mind, what an asshole he still was. After he died, there was
an outpouring of positive remembrances of Joe and of all his work for charity
and local music. This is my opportunity to tell everyone that I was not happy
with Joe Show that night and for many years after, but that I forgive him. It
was all for entertainment, both on his side and mine. And while this story is
not a glowing memory of Joe Show, it is a memory and it is the only thing I can
give him now.)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />HolyJuanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02657032956798346089noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11288911.post-23361737891859723312019-10-22T16:52:00.000-04:002019-10-22T21:19:01.174-04:00Twitter's updated zombie-user policyIf we are notified that a Twitter user has turned into a Zombie, we can remove their account or assist family members in posting and, if possible, translating their loved one’s moans and death rattles into 280 character Tweets.<br />
<br />
Please contact us with the following information:<br />
<br />
1. Your full name, email address, and your relationship to the Zombie.<br />
2. The username of the Twitter account, or a link to the last Tweet they made suggesting that they were bit and feeling ill.<br />
3. A link to a news article or video of the Zombie eating brains.<br />
<br />
You can contact us at privacy@twitter.com, or by mail or fax:<br />
Twitter Inc.,<br />
c/o: Zombified<br />
795 Folsom Street, Suite 600<br />
San Francisco, CA 94107<br />
Fax: 415-222-9958<br />
<br />
Please note that Twitter cannot fix the formatting for long Zombie words like Mmmmmmhhhhhhhhhgggggggggggggggggggg, Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgunh, or Rwwwwwwwwwwrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh.<br />
<br />
Please note that we cannot do anything about loved ones who turn into vampires. We don’t deal with that shit.HolyJuanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02657032956798346089noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11288911.post-55948151634993452662019-10-13T12:14:00.001-04:002019-10-13T12:14:52.201-04:00I Love Me. Who Do You Love? – The Not-So Audio Book<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
I compiled a number of HolyJuan
stories, postings, cartoons, and some new writings together in a book called, “<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Love-Me-Who-Do-You/dp/1542469201" target="_blank">I Lov</a><span style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Love-Me-Who-Do-You/dp/1542469201" target="_blank">e Me. Who Do You Love?</a>” </span><span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">At the time, I thought about recording an audio book to go along with it. As part
of my work at Roto, we did audio recordings all the time. We would screen the voice
talent, and then with a recording engineer, the talent, and with me as the
producer, work together to ensure high-quality recording and to catch errors / make on-the-fly changes
to the script. It was enjoyable work, so I thought I could handle it myself by
just reading through my book with some simple recording equipment.</span> </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Oh boy,
was I wrong.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>First
off, they call them “talent” because it takes a lot of practice and experience
to read well, even when it is in their own voice and not a character voice. Reading
naturally, without screwing up a word or skipping a whole line is difficult for
someone doing it by themselves. Even if you think that you’ve read a few lines
perfectly, the engineer and producer is there to catch if there were “pops” or
background noises. In a studio environment, you’ve got two people making sure
that the words are right and that they sound perfect. Being able to sit back
and have a second take on something with a few modifications might squeeze
something unexpected from everyone working together. <o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Secondly,
the engineer is doing several other tasks that have nothing to do with the performance.
They are tracking the takes, monitoring the equipment, catching subtle modifications
the talent can make to how they are speaking into the microphone, and then
wrapping it all up in a nice package for which I can take credit.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Lastly,
it is very difficult to produce your own work. It’s hard to massage a 5<sup>th</sup>
take out of the talent when you are the talent. There are missed words. Missed
paragraphs. No direction from a 3<sup>rd</sup> party. And after trying to get
one passable chapter complete, all you want to do is have a drink before moving
on, and drinking while recording a downhill cheese wheel chase of compounding
trouble.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I tried
to record my book. I borrowed audio equipment from Hugh. Prepped my file
folders. Booted up the Adobe Audition recording software. And promptly gave up
after the first three chapters. About 75% of my recordings had the word “shit”
in them when I recognized I had screwed up a word. Literally every recording
would need an edit in the middle. And even when I thought I had a perfect
recording, I’d catch a pop or slurred word. I was miserable, realizing that I
am the laziest perfectionist in Ohio and the book would never be recorded without
paying for an engineer, a producer, and studio time. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p><br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>When I
returned the audio equipment to Hugh, I explained my predicament. He knows a significant
amount about recording and couldn’t help but agree. But in that sad discussion,
we came up with a great idea: The Director’s Cut Audio Book – Now With 100%
More Alcohol Consumption.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Here’s
the pitch: I read and record my own book. I use at home equipment. If I want, I
drink beers before and during the recording. I read without stopping for simple
errors or I call out when I’ve glitched. If I want, I add commentary. I read
the comics. I describe the photos. It is story telling of my stories. You buy the
audio book knowing what you are getting and buying it because you know what you
are getting.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>What do
you think? <o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Email <a href="mailto:holyjuan@gmail.com">holyjuan@gmail.com</a> with your thoughts.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uw8Dqi4VwvQ/XaNNYcVfn5I/AAAAAAAAxEQ/GRgfyvNH6NkTWS871DQODr6ncj5XnXsAQCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/1498011825560.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="283" data-original-width="530" height="212" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uw8Dqi4VwvQ/XaNNYcVfn5I/AAAAAAAAxEQ/GRgfyvNH6NkTWS871DQODr6ncj5XnXsAQCLcBGAsYHQ/s400/1498011825560.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<br />HolyJuanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02657032956798346089noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11288911.post-6930872594834508002019-08-31T13:31:00.000-04:002019-08-31T13:31:04.347-04:00Compare and Consternation <span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A few weeks ago, I got a message on my Fake Dispatch Twitter account from a local publication asking if I would be interested in collaborating on some humorous political commentary. Absolutely. I went to their offices and we decided I would write as Fake Dispatch and write humorous content that would be published at their online channel. I would wait until the last minute to write these pieces so that they could be as relevant as possible. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We did a test the first week to see if my content was what they were looking for. I sent them three extended Fake Dispatch posts. Their response was that they were not looking for me to write fake news but to comment on real news. I said I would make an attempt.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For me, it is difficult to write funny commentary on real, local topics, because at some point, someone's feelings are going to get hurt. When I write something made up, there is a buffer of lies between my jokes and others' emotions. But I gave it my best. That next week, I sent them a new set of Fake Dispatch "hot takes" with real, humorous commentary.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Between that first week and the second week, something unexpected happened at this local publication where they reconsidered publishing political commentary. It was an unfortunate coincidence, but Boy was I Proud of the opportunity to try this writing challenge. They said, "thanks, but no thanks" and my work was never to see the light of day.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So here it is in the light of day! Here's what I would like to do: I'm going to post the first "fake" article and its complimentary "real" piece. The last two don't align on topic, but you get the idea. Let me know what you think.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">--------</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<b style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Teh Ohio State University</span></b><br />
<div style="background: white; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Just this week, Teh Ohio State
University applied for copyright protection on the word, “THE.” At least they
thought they did. Because they allowed a graduate from Ohio University to fill
out the application, the woman accidentally put “Teh” on the application over
37 times. When asked about the error, the woman replied, “Oops, that must have
been a typo. Go Bobcats!” <span style="background-color: transparent;">Legally, Teh Ohio
State University must use the word “Teh” until the matter is settled in court. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The The The Ohio
State University<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Don’t get me wrong; I love Ohio State. Outsiders to Columbus
are not forced to don the scarlet and grey. (Though I think babies born at any
university hospital are swaddled in OSU blankets and receive a block O tattoo.)
But if a non-alumna does accept Ohio State into their heart, they will find themselves
invited to more tailgates, asked to go to lunch more often with co-workers, and
high-fived a lot in public. It’s either that or give in to the dark side and wear
Michigan gear. Honestly, Michigan fans should get a lot more credit than the
folks that wear OSU gear as camouflage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I love Ohio State. But damn do they test my patience.
Originally, people insisting you say, “The” Ohio State University was just
silly. I refuse to do it. But then they go and try to trademark the word
“The?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-z8Ldetb19v0/XWqsZ6iq3qI/AAAAAAAAwOk/-4GqAYK6n_YqxXjCCgghBraU7thxocYYACLcBGAs/s1600/the.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" data-original-height="901" data-original-width="1502" height="191" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-z8Ldetb19v0/XWqsZ6iq3qI/AAAAAAAAwOk/-4GqAYK6n_YqxXjCCgghBraU7thxocYYACLcBGAs/s320/the.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I think this means that if you have four people to spell out
“OHIO,” you are going to need three more to spell out the “THE.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Well, I’m sorry to say that “The” is already taken. (A song
by the group JYJ.) And "The The" is taken by the group The The. Luckily, The The
The is available and that’s what I am going to call The The The Ohio State
University from now on. The The The Ohio State University. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And now I can’t figure out how to form the H in “The” with
just one person’s arms. You might need eight people. Shit… sixteen if you spell
The The The OHIO. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">-------</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background: white; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Alternative Transportation
Energy</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div style="background: white; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A Columbus man was injured last
night after attempting to create a perpetual motion machine by taping two
rental scooters together. Allen Mordigio Baskins, who asked that we would not
use his name, rented a Bird and Lime scooter. He aligned the wheels, front to
back and back to front and then taped the accelerator handles down on both
units. The resulting explosion generated an EMP blast that erased all the high
scores from the video games at 16-bit Bar. Allen Mordigio Baskins, who asked
that we not reveal his name, was thrown several hundred feet and landed on,
believe it or not, a Spin scooter which he then used to scoot his busted ass to
the hospital. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Electric Rental Scooters
are the Devil<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In Columbus, you literally cannot swing an electric rental
scooter without hitting another scooter. By last count, I think there are 1,335
scooter companies in Columbus. (Lime, Bird, Lyft, Spin. OK there are four.) No
one says anything about it in the Bible, but electric scooters were the 11<sup>th</sup>
Plague of Egypt. (And also how the Israelites got out of town so quickly.) Scooters
are everywhere in Columbus. They are here to stay. They are the Devil. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They are
the Devil because have you seen the people riding them with sheer glee and
abandon? As they ride on the street/sidewalk/parking lots/grass/into fire
hydrants, their faces are filled with exultation. They laugh. They whoop. They
slalom from side to side. Even the people on their way to work have a micron of
an upturned lip as they whizz down the street. Anything that provides that kind
of selfless happiness can only come from the Devil. Scooters are the Devil. And
I love riding every mile down the highway to hell on them. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">NOW QUIT LAYING THEM ON THE SIDEWALKS YOU PUNK KID HEATHENS!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">-------</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background: white; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Anxious for Weed?</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The State Medical Board of Ohio
committee, which is empowered to recommend what qualifying conditions would
allow residents to purchase medical marijuana, has decided against adding
autism spectrum disorder and anxiety to the Ohio’s list of qualifying
conditions for purchasing the drug. Previously, they also ruled against
allowing prescriptions for opioid use disorder, depression, and insomnia.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div style="background: white; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Currently, the only covered
conditions for medical marijuana are golfer’s elbow, injuries obtained during equestrian
dressage, and stress induced from being a State Medical Board of Ohio committee
member. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Dangerous
Intersection Remediation Underway<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">According to Columbus city officials, there have been 68
accidents at the intersection of Livingston Ave. and Barnett Rd. between 2015
and 2017. Columbus is throwing $1.4
million at the intersection to make it safer by modifying the road width,
adding turn lanes, and crosswalks. Folks, this is not going to put a dent in
the number of accidents. Or I should say there will still be dents, and that
number might have one, but it will still be the same number. I’m sure they had
the best intentions, but I don’t think it is going to work. You know what would
stop accidents there? A traffic circle. You drop a traffic circle in there and
I guarantee there will not be a single accident as people drive 2 MPH in the
same circle over and over and over. How do you get people to avoid accidents in
the intersection? When completely avoid the intersection. I understand that
many of the residents in Hillard over the age of 60 would gladly donate one of
their city’s traffic circles. </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />HolyJuanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02657032956798346089noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11288911.post-12190781300064791292019-06-08T10:30:00.000-04:002019-06-10T09:27:41.337-04:00If It Works, It Works (Updated)<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
(Author's note: I've updated this story with some new revelations and photos at the end. You can skip down if you wish, but this story is good enough to read again.)<br />
<br />
There is the right way to do things, the wrong way to do
things, and then the wrong way that is the best right way you have. My favorite
type of wrong/best-right is the one that comes through getting cornered and fighting
one’s way out of the problem.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In September of 2015, a team of folks from our company traveled to Turkey
to help install interactive exhibits at the Kocaeli Science Center in İzmit. In
preparation for this trip, we thought long and hard about the tools and
hardware we were going to take. The tools were an issue due to the 220 V / 50
Hz power standard incompatibly. The hardware was troublesome because both
the metric system and we knew were going to leave the unused hardware behind
and didn’t want to blow the budget buying 100 of everything we might need. Our
recon team went out a few months early and discovered we would have no problem
buying the tools we needed locally. The hardware we would need was also available,
but our scout team said we’d need a guide to navigate the maze of hardware. We brought
the hardware we knew needed, some standard hardware we knew we might need for troubleshooting, and knew we could figure something out with whatever we could find locally. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When Alpha Team One (I know that’s redundant, but it sounds
cool) arrived, they surveyed the museum space, assisted the client to understand how
the space was laid out incorrectly, helped to modify it, unloaded the shipping containers,
and ventured into town to buy the tools we needed. AJ went with Metin, our local interpreter,
to the hardware store where AJ unwittingly became a local hero. We
needed a lot of expensive tools and AJ was a long-haired, full-bearded kid in a
candy shop. As they drove off with the van’s shocks aching under the weight of
his purchases, I imagine all the store’s employees on the sidewalk waving
goodbye with big smiles on their faces and then jumping up and down and hugging
one another once the van turned the corner. Word of AJ got around and for the
next few weeks, because he was so beardedly recognizable, seemingly random people would
yell out his name and wave to him as he walked around the city streets. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Once Beta Team Two (I know) arrived, we were fortunate to follow
in the footsteps and the path cleared of brambles by the first team. They knew how
to get around, when to drink tea, how to get food, and that any hardware run was
going to require a dusty leather jacket, a fedora, a bullwhip, a shoulder bag, a map,
and Metin. And several hours. The hardware store had hardware, but it was spread
out over three floors of their building and seemed to be grouped by some arbitrary
organization system that put bolts next to paint and nuts above the cast iron pipes.
I’m assuming the heaviest items were located near the loading doors because when
a worker tired of carrying something, it was dropped, and that became its
location in the store. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-bs0LgACzgKM/XIVXQEeNfaI/AAAAAAAAr28/265tCKsrFBIlw75pCe1Gxmx4P62iE9SLwCLcBGAs/s1600/20151006_105225.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="225" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-bs0LgACzgKM/XIVXQEeNfaI/AAAAAAAAr28/265tCKsrFBIlw75pCe1Gxmx4P62iE9SLwCLcBGAs/s400/20151006_105225.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Metin and Keegan at the hardware store.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Along the way, we found out that plumbing in Turkey is
different from plumbing in the United States. Aside from the metric system and the
normal issues that come from pipe/thread size, we learned that they use horse
hair and Teflon tape in many applications where we might use two correctly
sized fittings. If two pipes were not coming together as expected, they would wrap horse hair
around the threads, keep it all in place with a few wraps of Teflon tape, and force the two
pieces together like a couple in an arranged marriage.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I laughed at this until my final days on the project when I
had my own plumbing issue. Due to a miscommunication, our team had dissimilar clear
braided PVC hose pipe that came from a structure in the ceiling and needed to
connect to the house water supply on the ground. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The 1” tubing from the ceiling needed a reducing fitting
that would take it down to a ½” tube. We could not find anything in Turkey that
could make this transition. We ordered the piece we needed, but it was three
days away and we had a sign off with the client the next day. Chris let me
troubleshoot this issue and here’s what I tried: <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<ul>
<li>apply various metric fittings (failed without even turning
the water on)</li>
<li>shove the smaller tube inside the larger tube (it fits tightly, but
the water pressure pops it out, with water shooting out like a rouge fire-hose)</li>
<li>shove the smaller tube inside the larger tube and use a
hose clamp to compress (still pops out, water less everywhere as we were
prepared this time)</li>
<li>all the above and use two hose clamps (STILL POPS OUT)</li>
</ul>
<o:p></o:p><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I needed something to keep the tubes in place and time to do
the right thing was long past and I was almost to the point of doing the wrong thing. So I said, “screw it,” literally. I found a few
screws and compared them to the vinyl pipe wall thickness. I took the screw
with the coarsest thread and joined the two tubes together, making sure I didn’t
pass too far through. We turned on the water and the hoses stayed together. Because
the screw’s threads were far enough apart, they stayed sealed in the hose wall.
I think I covered the whole mess in Teflon tape, not to keep the water in, but
to hide our sins from the client.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dt5rqPsQ66E/XIVXQM9iw4I/AAAAAAAAr24/75eCTL8RFl4AMHkRz28cAqCco69A0ZJqwCEwYBhgL/s1600/20150930_193153.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="225" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dt5rqPsQ66E/XIVXQM9iw4I/AAAAAAAAr24/75eCTL8RFl4AMHkRz28cAqCco69A0ZJqwCEwYBhgL/s400/20150930_193153.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Court and Chris working on a boiling water fountain</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then I left the county, missing the client review (we passed the review and got paid), hoping that I would not be stopped at the border (a story for another time.)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Later, the correct part arrived, Chris cut out the offending
plumbing, and installed the proper fitting. Instead of throwing my little Frankenstein’s
Monster away, he brought it home. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-BzqQAW-6YD8/XIVXTllQv0I/AAAAAAAAr3M/C7_UgKuhm_M1048wZ4c-16m4dtyU39nogCEwYBhgL/s1600/IMG_20190307_164946_01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-BzqQAW-6YD8/XIVXTllQv0I/AAAAAAAAr3M/C7_UgKuhm_M1048wZ4c-16m4dtyU39nogCEwYBhgL/s320/IMG_20190307_164946_01.jpg" width="180" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This little guy now lives at my desk. It’s a trophy. If it
were mounted to a walnut plaque with a little bronze plate, I think the inscription
would say, “If It Works, It Works – September 2015”. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
(But then, on a small piece of paper rolled up on the inside
and held in place by that screw, there would be a message to the curious. What would
that message say? I don’t know… how curious are you?) <o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: yellow;">UPDATE:</span><br />
<br />
Since writing this article in March, I've taken a new position with another company. Last night, we had a going away party at a bar and many of my co-workers showed up to say goodbye. AJ was one of those folks and he said he had a gift for me.<br />
<br />
The day after I told people I was leaving our company, AJ secretly came by my desk, took the "If it works, it works" hose assembly and replaced it with a decoy. You can see from the image below that the decoy was so close the the original that I didn't notice and brought it home in a box with my other desk crap.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-KITGHlOSNTg/XPvOpsSZazI/AAAAAAAAubo/onKGDeQ2Npssdvc3vTYr0MGAbDWt_9PpgCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_20190608_104750.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-KITGHlOSNTg/XPvOpsSZazI/AAAAAAAAubo/onKGDeQ2Npssdvc3vTYr0MGAbDWt_9PpgCLcBGAs/s320/IMG_20190608_104750.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The decoy - damn good!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
Just in case I did notice, AJ slipped a note in his decoy.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LbgWagMGpDw/XPvOsLoXW_I/AAAAAAAAub8/JH4B6A1fjuAtPGhx1JKli4oZ9Khjyq6bACEwYBhgL/s1600/IMG_20190608_110324.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LbgWagMGpDw/XPvOsLoXW_I/AAAAAAAAub8/JH4B6A1fjuAtPGhx1JKli4oZ9Khjyq6bACEwYBhgL/s320/IMG_20190608_110324.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
So last night at the going away party, AJ presented me with this:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yZe2-mJ9bCE/XPvOrvlAx3I/AAAAAAAAub4/kbaNRo71KmA5-DGeI3ztAPPzMcs4IOmmACEwYBhgL/s1600/IMG_20190608_104541.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yZe2-mJ9bCE/XPvOrvlAx3I/AAAAAAAAub4/kbaNRo71KmA5-DGeI3ztAPPzMcs4IOmmACEwYBhgL/s320/IMG_20190608_104541.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
And like I said above, "If it were mounted to a walnut plaque with a little bronze plate, I think the inscription would say, “If It Works, It Works – September 2015”.<br />
<br />
Quite possibly the most thoughtful gift I have ever received. Thanks, AJ. And goodbye. I will miss you.<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
<br />HolyJuanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02657032956798346089noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11288911.post-5662354978640068722019-05-28T21:12:00.001-04:002019-05-28T21:12:14.991-04:00The Step at the C.I.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
I went to Ohio University from 1988
to 1992. Technically it was 1993, but I wouldn’t want it to seem like I flunked
a grade or that my parents held me back. The friends I made then are the
friends I still have now. We are planning a reunion for the end of June and
there are about 24 of us coming back to Ohio University. More than likely, we
will end the night at the C.I.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
The C.I. was and still is our
favorite haunt. I know many of my friend have individual bars they like to go
to for other reasons, but for when we are all together, it’s the C.I. Our
favorite pastime is to get a basket of peanuts, halve the shell, eat the
peanuts, and then secretly place a half shell on someone’s shoulder as they
stood at the bar or walked by. Bonus points for getting a shell on both their
shoulders. That was a good way to make friends. We also like to run and try to
jump on the high shelf that runs the length of the front wall parallel to the
bar. Few could do it then. Fewer now. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6xRzTFqvj7U/XO3aIIzIIXI/AAAAAAAAuOI/MT1OTA_lRG8-p2NdS9FgyAMdOlASvvflgCLcBGAs/s1600/OU%2BReunion%2BWeekend%2B%2528120%2529.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6xRzTFqvj7U/XO3aIIzIIXI/AAAAAAAAuOI/MT1OTA_lRG8-p2NdS9FgyAMdOlASvvflgCLcBGAs/s320/OU%2BReunion%2BWeekend%2B%2528120%2529.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-UFXIEgu-GuQ/XO3aH4k4NdI/AAAAAAAAuOE/mrkfXGx9Z-g7lCux-wpW2AJHbEcyYKo0gCLcBGAs/s1600/OU%2BReunion%2BWeekend%2B%2528105%2529.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-UFXIEgu-GuQ/XO3aH4k4NdI/AAAAAAAAuOE/mrkfXGx9Z-g7lCux-wpW2AJHbEcyYKo0gCLcBGAs/s320/OU%2BReunion%2BWeekend%2B%2528105%2529.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
In 1993, I was at the C.I. with
Crazy Jill. We were manning “The Step.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Before renovations, the C.I. had an odd step up to a platform at the end of the bar and then
step down about 20 feet later. I assume there were pipes running under the
floor or possibly treasure. Either way, The Step was a hazard to many a drunk,
both stepping up and stepping down, and someone needed to help! Jill and I
would stand on either side of the step and ensure that C.I. patrons were aware
of the step. I, being a boy, would focus on telling the girls to watch their
step, usually offering a hand to help them up or down. Jill would help the
boys, usually frisking them on the way past. Both of us always with a, “watch your step!” The people sitting on the
shelf behind us probably wondered what we were doing, but enjoyed the show. I
just thought it was a good way to possibly pick up a girl for the night. Jill thought she might find her future husband, but that was silly.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
On one particular night, Crazy Jill
and I were both very drunk and very helpful in escorting people up and down the
stair. At some point, Jill began to help the boys down the step with a solid swat on the butt. This continued for several minutes
until a boy, staggering to the exit, happened to the top of the step. He was quite drunk and,
surprisingly, carrying a camcorder in the palm of his hand. In 1993, a camcorder you could
cup in one hand was expensive and not something you haul around drunk at an
Ohio University bar.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He approached the
stair and began to step down. Jill said, “Watch yer step!” and as he started to descend, she swung and
hit his ass. At least she tried to. She missed his butt and instead hit the
camcorder in his hand. He was not holding on through the strap and it went
flying forward. It missed everyone in front of him and hit the floor with a noise
that sounded like five or six pieces of plastic breaking Without missing a
stagger, the guy lumbered forward, picked up the largest chunk of camera, some
of the plastic bits, and walked out the door without a head turn backwards or an
angry word out of his mouth.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
We stopped manning the step after
that night. I don’t think it was because of the camcorder incident, but the
quarter was over for me and we never found time to do it again. You never know
when your last night at a bar is going to be. Later the C.I. went through some
renovations and The Step was removed and now there is no The Step.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
There is one last bit to this
story. On that last eventful night, one of the people sitting on the shelf and
watching Crazy Jill and I help people up and down the step thought to herself,
“What the hell are these people doing.” And then later, “They just broke that
guy’s video camera!” It wasn’t until my wife and I were married for a few years
that the story of The Step came up and that I was that guy standing in front of
her helping ladies up and down The Step and she was the girl sitting behind me, knowing that was the wrong way to try to pick up girls. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />HolyJuanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02657032956798346089noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11288911.post-10239523529173098782019-03-28T12:43:00.002-04:002019-03-28T12:45:46.567-04:00Me and Dr. Kathy SullivanThis photo:<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-86zCdO-oWkU/XJzz7yGH1QI/AAAAAAAAsSw/mb7DzUrhRdQVN6AFY-By2KuIJOPOtruSgCLcBGAs/s1600/doug-and-kathy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1111" data-original-width="1600" height="444" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-86zCdO-oWkU/XJzz7yGH1QI/AAAAAAAAsSw/mb7DzUrhRdQVN6AFY-By2KuIJOPOtruSgCLcBGAs/s640/doug-and-kathy.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
In 1999, COSI, the Center of Science and Industry, moved from one location to another. On the last day at the old facility, we marched down a few blocks to the new location, which was still under construction. At the new digs, there was a big event to celebrate the move. Everyone on the COSI team had an opportunity to go up on a platform hand get a handshake and a photo with our CEO Dr. Kathy Sullivan and Dimon McFerson, CEO of Nationwide Insurance.<br />
<br />
As you can see from this other photo from the event, Stuart (a man who knew beards before they became popular) is posed in the proper position with everyone following protocol.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-UWb68DS1T-w/XJz21XFyfiI/AAAAAAAAsTI/l2MyvcHMK_UrqXgd9ikNVmZDeF8VY1EmwCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_20190328_0001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1038" data-original-width="1600" height="412" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-UWb68DS1T-w/XJz21XFyfiI/AAAAAAAAsTI/l2MyvcHMK_UrqXgd9ikNVmZDeF8VY1EmwCLcBGAs/s640/IMG_20190328_0001.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
I had a different plan.<br />
<br />
I knew that Kathy and Dimon would continue to follow the procedure of:<br />
1. position team member between the two<br />
2. thank yous<br />
3. hand shakes<br />
4. pose for photo<br />
5. push them off the platform and wait for the next person<br />
<br />
My plan was slightly modified in that right before the photo was taken, I was going to turn and kiss Kathy on the cheek.<br />
<br />
It was the perfect plan. All my other co-workers were following the rules and doing a great job of keeping the process flowing. I knew that no one else would think to do the turn-and-kiss and once I did it, no one would be able to copy it.<br />
<br />
It was finally my turn.<br />
Up on the platform.<br />
Thank you. Thank you.<br />
Handshakes.<br />
Pose for photo.<br />
And...<br />
<br />
At the moment that I turned my head to kiss Kathy on the cheek... SHE DID THE SAME.<br />
<br />
Our lips met. We both recoiled in surprise with laughter. CLICK!<br />
<br />
So now, take a second look at that first photo. We are laughing and wide eyed in surprise. Dimon didn't know what had happened and was a little confused.<br />
<br />
I was shuffled off the platform and we all had a good laugh.<br />
<br />
I didn't know for a few weeks that the photo was not of us kissing. That's what you got back then with film. The photo was taken just a second too late. I was disappointed that there was no kiss photo, but the picture I have still tells the story.<br />
<br />
I wonder if she tells her friends about the time she got to kiss me?HolyJuanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02657032956798346089noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11288911.post-82703759344971697882019-03-23T11:38:00.002-04:002019-03-23T11:38:26.341-04:00Should I update my birthday on Twitter? No.If you lied about your birthday when you started your Twitter account, don't ever update it. Twitter will lock your account until your age is cleared up and that can take months or possibly forever.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Under <span style="background-color: white;">The European Union’s General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR), Twitter is locking the accounts of anyone who may of posted anything while they were under 13 years of age. If you update your birthday, they run the math backwards, see that you were under 13 when you posted, and lock the account so that they do not get into trouble. It's dumb, but it's the easy way to make sure they don't run into trouble. </span></span><br />
<br />
Q. Should I update your birthday on Twitter?<br />
A. No.<br />
<br />
Q. What if I have updated my birthday and I am not locked out of my account.<br />
A. You are screwed.<br />
<br />
Q. No, really, what should I do?<br />
A. Follow these steps as suggested by Twitter: <a href="https://help.twitter.com/en/managing-your-account/locked-and-limited-accounts">https://help.twitter.com/en/managing-your-account/locked-and-limited-accounts</a><br />
<br />HolyJuanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02657032956798346089noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11288911.post-79732811418022308872019-03-08T17:50:00.000-05:002019-03-09T13:10:48.862-05:00Quiz: Quote from a Porno or a Han Solo line from a Star Wars movie?<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Thanks for coming after me. I owe you one.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: -.25in; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">No,
no, no! This one goes there, that one goes there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: -.25in; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">She
may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: -.25in; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Oh. I
thought they smelled bad... on the outside!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: -.25in; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Great,
kid. Don't get cocky.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: -.25in; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Besides,
I know a few maneuvers.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: -.25in; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">7.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Get
in there, you big furry oaf! I don't care what you smell!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: -.25in; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">8.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Great
shot, kid, that was one in a million!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: -.25in; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">9.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Now
let's blow this thing and go home.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: -.25in; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">10.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Sorry about the mess!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Answers:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: -.25in; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Han Solo,
“Return of the Jedi”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Han Solo, “The Empire Strikes Back”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Han Solo, “A New Hope”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Han Solo, “The Empire Strikes Back”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Han Solo, “A New Hope”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Han Solo, “A New Hope”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">7.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Han Solo, “A New Hope”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">8.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Han Solo, “A New Hope”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">9.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Han Solo, “A New Hope”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">10.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Han Solo, “A New Hope”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />HolyJuanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02657032956798346089noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11288911.post-78873539254482039322019-02-24T10:49:00.002-05:002019-02-24T11:05:14.429-05:00The Big Yummy vs The Big Weenie<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
In 1999, COSI opened at its riverfront location in downtown
Columbus. Once the building opened, the COSI Design and Production Studio, the
group of folks who envisioned, designed, built, and installed COSI in its new
location, broke up into three groups. Some people <a href="http://stuarthyatt.org/new-page" target="_blank">left to pursue other projects</a>. Others <a href="https://www.powhida.com/2010/03/burdock-day-2010.html" target="_blank">remained in-house</a> to help maintain
the newly opened building.
And the last bit became what was to be COSI Studio; a group of folks developing
new exhibits for COSI and for other science museums, children’s play areas, and
aquariums.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The first exhibit this group worked on was Space, which
opened the following year at COSI. But during this time, COSI was approached by
several Ohio Agricultural groups to help promote healthy eating and Ohio
farmers. What finally came of this was “The Big Yummy,” a lunchtime,
animatronic talent show with various foods competing to win The Big Yummy
award. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>In 30 minutes, kids were rotated in, they would eat their lunch, watch
the show, and then cycled out.<o:p></o:p><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-aFKLVxyTOLo/XHK5LqChVUI/AAAAAAAAriQ/H6O3W_MQpmgnx9fEgaF_LFqxO1pDwNKlgCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_-hulnme.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1358" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-aFKLVxyTOLo/XHK5LqChVUI/AAAAAAAAriQ/H6O3W_MQpmgnx9fEgaF_LFqxO1pDwNKlgCLcBGAs/s320/IMG_-hulnme.jpg" width="271" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Big Yummy door graphic hanging behind me.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
The show was even set up with three different endings that were
determined by the volume of the audience’s applause. (The Pinto and Soy Beans
almost always won due to the fart machines hidden in the lunch seats that were
activated during the beans’ performance.)<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OtSuxb1_8WE/XHK5MKwC9II/AAAAAAAAriw/42S2IYmU3zY1PqRKfHculuojAZ0AY24CwCEwYBhgL/s1600/Siegfreed%2526Bean.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1270" data-original-width="1600" height="253" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OtSuxb1_8WE/XHK5MKwC9II/AAAAAAAAriw/42S2IYmU3zY1PqRKfHculuojAZ0AY24CwCEwYBhgL/s320/Siegfreed%2526Bean.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Soy and Pinto Bean sketch with color callouts</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At the outset of the project, we worked on the concept and
the script. We designed the space and determined the necessary refurbishment
and modifications. We developed the characters and worked on their art
direction with the animatronic company.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The show had several songs, an original score and when the script was
finalized, we flew out to California to a recording studio to record the music
and voice actors.<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PshDOtL_tzA/XHK5K8casFI/AAAAAAAAri4/8ewowtn_4tEvBl76cvOwmvdsrvq5B92qwCEwYBhgL/s1600/DSCN0561.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PshDOtL_tzA/XHK5K8casFI/AAAAAAAAri4/8ewowtn_4tEvBl76cvOwmvdsrvq5B92qwCEwYBhgL/s320/DSCN0561.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A scale model of the stage with sculpted maquettes Johnny Rotten, Soy and Pinto Beans, Corn Cob Bob, and Leche Es Bueno</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-coToHU7j5Z4/XHK5OJzQbvI/AAAAAAAAri4/iRs6o1WWZaw8XIggDf0YG0EtKHc7lfubACEwYBhgL/s1600/corn%2Band%2Bbutter%2Bpicture%2B3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1470" data-original-width="1196" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-coToHU7j5Z4/XHK5OJzQbvI/AAAAAAAAri4/iRs6o1WWZaw8XIggDf0YG0EtKHc7lfubACEwYBhgL/s320/corn%2Band%2Bbutter%2Bpicture%2B3.jpg" width="260" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Corn Cob Bob and Pat O'Butter final animatronics</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-UnMMFEdaNDo/XHK5K-UtF3I/AAAAAAAArjE/imBIbchfAbky-6KkxqkR9gam0RgvvMfrQCEwYBhgL/s1600/DSCN3024.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-UnMMFEdaNDo/XHK5K-UtF3I/AAAAAAAArjE/imBIbchfAbky-6KkxqkR9gam0RgvvMfrQCEwYBhgL/s320/DSCN3024.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Egg, the heckler in the back of the audience</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Ks3ectYOsno/XHK5PNepbXI/AAAAAAAArjE/s9ymy9wcxoU8b5XXA5bBTLIaeDHUEn4ZQCEwYBhgL/s1600/milk%2Bpicture.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1488" data-original-width="1172" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Ks3ectYOsno/XHK5PNepbXI/AAAAAAAArjE/s9ymy9wcxoU8b5XXA5bBTLIaeDHUEn4ZQCEwYBhgL/s320/milk%2Bpicture.jpg" width="252" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Leche Es Bueno, the milk carton host of the show</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-skiSnd-cg8k/XHK5Mqiq6aI/AAAAAAAAri0/wBUZ9vk-pz8UwkaUnJLKXKfqrRcBNFwZACEwYBhgL/s1600/Weenie%2B4-23-01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1304" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-skiSnd-cg8k/XHK5Mqiq6aI/AAAAAAAAri0/wBUZ9vk-pz8UwkaUnJLKXKfqrRcBNFwZACEwYBhgL/s320/Weenie%2B4-23-01.jpg" width="260" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The show trophy sketch with color</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is where I stop and tell you that up until now, you
think I have been talking about The Big Yummy, but I haven’t. I’ve been talking
about The Big Weenie. The show we worked on up until this point was called The
Big Weenie. The logo, the songs, the lyrics, the characters’ lines, and even
the grand prize trophy all referenced The Big Weenie. In the science museum
world, a "weenie" was the best exhibit in the gallery, the one that got the most
attention. Weenie is also a food, so that was part of it. It’s also laughingly enjoyable to
say out loud. Try it… weenieweenieweenie See! But not everyone thought it was a good choice of word.<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-VqwJ9Y0qXPA/XHK5L_F_XgI/AAAAAAAAri4/hRJ6yDYPRm4SB321boTPxvJPIbi8F0rtgCEwYBhgL/s1600/IMG_20190222_155757.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1440" height="240" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-VqwJ9Y0qXPA/XHK5L_F_XgI/AAAAAAAAri4/hRJ6yDYPRm4SB321boTPxvJPIbi8F0rtgCEwYBhgL/s320/IMG_20190222_155757.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One of the early logo concepts</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-I2782g1MNQ4/XHK5O5fP-nI/AAAAAAAArjA/LeVNj8AJYcc6s4Fs_PxR-K-BK1ePMe60QCEwYBhgL/s1600/weenielogo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="901" data-original-width="929" height="310" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-I2782g1MNQ4/XHK5O5fP-nI/AAAAAAAArjA/LeVNj8AJYcc6s4Fs_PxR-K-BK1ePMe60QCEwYBhgL/s320/weenielogo.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The final (we thought) logo</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As Allen and I flew westward to Burbank, California and the
Theta Sound Studio, there was a management meeting at COSI. Even though we had
been working on The Big Weenie for several months, management was unaware of the
name or perhaps their ears finally perked up when it was mentioned at this
meeting. After we landed, we went to the Studio and arrived mid-session as the
musicians were laying down the music. As we were settling in and working on
some last-minute edits, Allen got a call from COSI. We were told that the name
“Weenie” was absolutely not allowed and that any reference to it must be
removed from the show. I assume this was because “weenie” can also mean
“penis.” The Big Penis show.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After Allen hung up and told me this, we started to realize
the situation we were in. This wasn’t just a simple name change. The word
Weenie was throughout the lyrics, usually at the end of a line. This meant that
our replacement word needed to be:<o:p></o:p></div>
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-two syllables<o:p></o:p></div>
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-end in the “ie” sound<o:p></o:p></div>
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-be food related<o:p></o:p></div>
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-it had to fit in the flow of everything<o:p></o:p></div>
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-determined in the next 18 hours before the actors were in
the studio to record their lines and songs<o:p></o:p></div>
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-not have anything to do with penis<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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What we came up with in those first few hours was, “The Big Smörgie,”
short for Smörgåsbord. It fit with most the replacement criteria, except that
it was a made-up word and didn’t quote flow. But that was the best we had. And
the best was mediocre. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Allen had another meeting across town, so he left me at the
studio to oversee the recording and to make sure we didn’t have any other odd
references in the script to Weenie.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Allen called twenty minutes later in LA traffic. He had an
idea. He told me about Jerry’s Famous Deli. It’s a landmark in LA and they have
an awesome menu. On that menu is (was) a delicious dessert (or breakfast item
depending on how you wanted to frame it) item that consisted of a cream cheese
and jelly sandwich that was soaked in egg and deep fried. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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The item was called a Yummy.<o:p></o:p><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-H1Cw_hE0fQE/XHK732ZroWI/AAAAAAAArjM/XQlchEhQlKAmSRE5oHNuGLUM2f97AejDwCLcBGAs/s1600/yummy%2Bon%2Bmenu.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="314" data-original-width="495" height="202" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-H1Cw_hE0fQE/XHK732ZroWI/AAAAAAAArjM/XQlchEhQlKAmSRE5oHNuGLUM2f97AejDwCLcBGAs/s320/yummy%2Bon%2Bmenu.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jerry's Famous Deli menu with The Yummy</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-arlq8Dl3Djw/XHK7382XCKI/AAAAAAAArjQ/slwpgcd2ovs1jdOuKxuZ2tLrYkOE5EAKACLcBGAs/s1600/yummy%2Bphoto.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="452" data-original-width="300" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-arlq8Dl3Djw/XHK7382XCKI/AAAAAAAArjQ/slwpgcd2ovs1jdOuKxuZ2tLrYkOE5EAKACLcBGAs/s320/yummy%2Bphoto.jpg" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Yummy</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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The Big Yummy! Yummy was the perfect replacement word! It
met all the criteria. It was the next best, closest thing to Weenie that we
were going to get. We swapped out all the Weenies with Yummys in the script, changed the logo, and moved on.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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There are still secret stashes of The Big Weenie floating
around. Sketches. Original scripts. Logo development concepts. I think the biggest one in clear sight is that the trophy the “winner” of the show received is a hot dog or weenie. <o:p></o:p><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-hl5Jo0dCLPI/XHK5N-VFm8I/AAAAAAAAri8/P1Hs_Ydke64LufkpmUeX0V1rBxDYvnGaQCEwYBhgL/s1600/weenie%2Bdetail.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="607" data-original-width="761" height="255" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-hl5Jo0dCLPI/XHK5N-VFm8I/AAAAAAAAri8/P1Hs_Ydke64LufkpmUeX0V1rBxDYvnGaQCEwYBhgL/s320/weenie%2Bdetail.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Note the W on the crown and faux Latin on base</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
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<br /></div>
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In 2004, a financially burdened COSI had a failed tax levy and
the institution made some major cuts. The Big Yummy was a staff intensive show
and went on the chopping block. LifeFormations, the animatronic company, bought
back several of the animatronics and repurposed them at different venues. One
of the most popular is Corn Cob Bob and Pat O’Butter at Jungle Jim’s in
Cincinnati. You can still see them there at the front door today.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6u-p4JpxDaM/XHK5K91eVpI/AAAAAAAAri0/gX5wtyclN9MEjwM1sUCYg5w72L5JalnUgCEwYBhgL/s1600/120428-Jungle-Jims-Corn-Animatronic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="768" data-original-width="1154" height="212" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6u-p4JpxDaM/XHK5K91eVpI/AAAAAAAAri0/gX5wtyclN9MEjwM1sUCYg5w72L5JalnUgCEwYBhgL/s320/120428-Jungle-Jims-Corn-Animatronic.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I was extremely fortunate to work on The Big Yummy project.
There were many, many creative people involved that I still interact with
today. We all made something outlandishly creative and heartrendingly original.
When I am at COSI, I will go into that room and look for the hints and shadowed fingerprints that were left behind by that experience. Seams in the drywall.
Bumps under the carpet. They are there if you know where to look. But the
biggest, lasting impression, which you can also see, if you know where to look,
is on me.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Fortune and Fame,<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">A heartbeat away,<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Lights flashing your
name,<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">This is your day,<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">It’s the Weenie,<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Big Weenie,<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Ennie, meanie, miney,
moe,<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Where will the Big Weenie
go?</i><o:p></o:p></div>
<br />HolyJuanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02657032956798346089noreply@blogger.com2