Skully’s Sign Language

Skully’s is a very loud place and communication can be difficult. Yelling, “You are smoking hot!” to a chick can be easily misinterpreted as, “I have dog shit on my foot!”

To avoid confusion, we have developed a series of hand gestures to help you communicate during your time of need.

I can drink a lot more
A very common question at Skully's is, "You want another drink?" This is non-verbally communicated through one of several common gestures. The answer, though, should not be passed off with a simple "yes" head bob. Instead, try the following:

Hands to the sides and say, “I can drink…….”


(Pause for effect) Raise them above your head, “A LOT MORE!”


Back off Bitch!
Sometimes a woman cannot control herself and will attack you bodily on the dance floor. If she cannot hear you yell at her to back the fuck off, whip off your belt and give her this non-verbal signal to the head.


Punch to the Bald Head

Are you sick and tired of bald guys getting all the hot chicks? What I really hate is when two of them show up to the bar and exponentially scoop up all the hotties. When you finally grow weary of this, pop the following hand gesture on the hairless bastards to break things up.


I'm Married
Skully's is a dangerous place for a married man. Young, hot chicks can smell a keeper and they will thrust themselves upon you. When you find yourself in this situation below:


Pull back and point at the ring:


You might break the youngin's heart, but it's best to get it over quickly.

You might have to repeat this often throughout the night in different situations.



Two Many Witnesses
Sometimes you will meet a hot chick that wants to ride you around the dance floor like an 120v electric bull on 220v. Sadly, many of the friends you came to Skully's with would disapprove of your contact with said young lady. To share your disappointment with a colleague who understands your predicament, use the following series of hang gestures

Too


Many


Witnesses


Chicks I've Banged Tonight
Sometimes it's OK to brag. Hold up those fingers and let the people know how many worlds you've rocked that night.


Marry Me
At Skully's, anything can happy. Love flows like melting records at a World Harvest Church Music Burning. If the moment is right and the love in your heart cannot be contained, buy a $5 rose from the guy with the bucket of $1 roses, drop to one knee and profess your silent love.


I am the Happiest Man in the World Right Now

Hard to arrange. Difficult not to get beat by your wife once she sees it. Worth every second.

2 comments:

Smail said...

I'm incredibly impressed that Dave can fold his pinky down without using his thumb to hold it in place. Seriously, try it. It's freaking hard!

Conny said...

2MW. Awesome. It brings back such alcohol distorted memories that may or may not have happened. Let's please take a moment of silence of Clancy's. I wonder where the Dirty Girls are now?