The Rodney

I work with people that design Things and people that build Things. These people usually do not get along. The designers want the impossible and the builders want practical.  Somewhere along the way, they end up bruised and bloody, but in agreement and The Thing gets built.  The designer and the builder then go off and have a drink while the third, yet unmentioned party called the installer, takes The Thing in the field and tries to make The Thing that is too big/ too small / too upside down fit into a space that is too wet / too curved / too gravity.

The installer hates the designer and the builder because they always forget about her/him. Usually the installer ends up calling one of the two from 2000 miles away and asks them what they hell they were thinking when they designed/built The Thing. And because they are still out together having that drink, they tend to let the installer go to voice mail.

Recently, I installed A Thing as part of a much larger project. It was a decorative barrel. The designer and the builder had some really good ideas about how this engineered and scenically treated decorative barrel should look and function.  I do not think they had very many thoughts about how it would be installed. They created a steel frame that could be fastened to the wood floor with large lag screws. They made wonderful holes in the bottom the 36" tall frame in several locations so the barrel would be firmly attached.  The metal frame was connected to other barrels' metal frames so they would all hold each other up. It was a really nice design except for one item: the holes in the bottom were 36" away from the top and the metal frame inside only allowed for about 3" of access to the bottom. Imagine trying to stick a drill 36 inches though the tiny gaps in a Christmas tree made of 1" thick steel branches. It's mostly impossible unless you have a specialized tool.  So with a bit of improvisation, we created "The Rodney."  Not named for the designer or the builder, but for the guy that manages those two entities. And Rodney can take a joke.

So to get through the very small gap, 36" down to the bottom of the barrel, we purchased three 12" socket extension and a magnet.


The extensions connected to one another, but would fall apart when suspended. Using tape, I connected the three extensions together.


I then taped a magnet to the socket so that the lags would not fall off as they were lowered into the barrel. The fastener is not taped to the socket, ti just looks that way. The magnet taped to the socket holds the lag while being lowered into the barrel.


We christened it "The Rodney" and set off to try it out.

The magnet was so strong that I had problems getting it to the bottom of the barrels without it sticking to the frame.  Once the fastener did make it to the bottom and I would start the drill, the damn thing was wobbly as hell and it was difficult to get the lag to dig into the wood.  After several rough starts, the lag finally grabbed into the wood and The Rodney drove them through the frame in solidly into the floor.

There were five barrels in all and they each got a taste of The Rodney.  Then The Rodney was put on a shelf and mostly forgotten until now. In the end, it got stripped down so that we could use the magnet to fetch some metal bits from under an exhibit and someone had their own Thing to deal with and just needed one 12" extension.

No design is perfect. No fabrication technique is flawless. No installation is simple.  But when your back is against the wall and The Thing is making the situation seems hopeless, just remember that The Rodney will always be there for you.

How to Download Your Playlist from Grooveshark (for Chrome)

This is from reddit user akahomerjay42 http://www.reddit.com/user/akahomerjay42 

Grooveshark was a HTML5 website, so it stored data in the browser "Local Storage.". If you haven't cleared your cache since you last logged into Grooveshark, you can probably retrieve it.
2) Open Chrome's Developer Tools by hitting (CTRL+SHIFT+I)
3) Click on "Resources" tab
4) Expand the "Local Storage" tree
5) Click on "http://grooveshark.com"
6) Find the key that looks something like "Library1414435" (it will be a 7+ digit number)
7) Look at its "value" (it's a JSON string). You should see something like this "{"lastModified":.....blah blah artist name...
8) Right-Click on that value
9) Click "Edit Value"
10) Copy it by hitting CTRL+C 
11) Now go to the webiste https://json-csv.com/  and Paste (CTRL +V) the contents of your clipboard into the window 

12) Download the resulting .CSV file 
13) Open the .CSV file in Office or Excel

My Pineapple Heart

I wrote a draft of a play called "My Pineapple Heart."  In acquaintance of mine (yes, I am allowed to have an acquaintance,) MaryBeth, mentioned that she had a very small pineapple (smaller than normal) and my friendquaintance (one step up from an acquaintance) Wooz was taking plays for his yearly Valentine show at St. James Tavern.  This didn't get picked, but I thought I would share. It still needs a lot of work, but this is probably the last I will ever touch it.

My Pineapple Heart


Guy
Hi, anyone sitting here?

Girl
Not anymore.

Guy
I’ve seen you here at the St. James a couple of times. 

Girl
Oh yeah, you were playing pool?

Guy
You… you noticed me?

Girl
Ha! No. It’s just that there’s a pretty good chance that anyone coming here was or is going to play pool.

Guy 
I can’t help but see that you have a pineapple strapped to your chest.

Girl
Oh? Is it noticeable?

Guy 
Well, it’s a small pineapple. Smaller than normal.

Girl
His name is Charles, but I call him Charlie.

Guy 
Do you carry it in case of a fruity drink emergency?

Girl
No.

Guy
Is it some kind of Japanese fashion trend?

Girl
No.

Guy
Did you lose a bet?

Girl
This is my heart.

Guy
Your heart?

Girl
My heart. The mass of muscle that beats endlessly and keeps us alive. My heart.

Guy
You mean it’s a symbol of your heart.

Girl
No.  My heart was taken from me.

Guy 
Stolen?

Girl
Ripped out.  Ripped right out. I was lying there on the floor about to die, but I was able to reach Charlie. Somehow, I made it though. I fashioned this sling to keep it on me.

Guy
Who took your heart?

Girl
A guy. His name is Joe.

Guy
Is he the guy you come here with?

Girl
Yeah.  Used to.

Guy
So Joe, I assume, broke up with you, took your heart and this pineapple heart is the replacement.

Girl
The pineapple is perfect for me to replace my heart. It’s smaller than normal. It’s spikey in all sorts of places. It’s ugly. The core is rough and gritty. But if you know how to work your way in there, there is sweetness inside. Was. Not sure anymore.

Guy
I’ve seen you here before.  I’ve always wanted to talk to you, but you’ve always been with a guy. With Joe.

Girl
You’ve been watching me?

Guy
Not in a creepy way.

Girl
When you watch someone more than once and you don’t say hello, it’s creepy.

Guy
I think that Joe guy would not have appreciated me coming over to say hello.

Girl
Joe didn’t appreciate much.

Guy
How long are you going to wear that?

Girl
Forever. Until I’m dead. Whichever comes first.

Guy
Listen. I’m just the creepy guy playing pool that stares as you, but you’ve got to know that there’re other guys out there.

Girl
That… that is so cheesy. 

Guy
What I mean is this: this pineapple isn’t your heart. And Joe didn’t rip it out of you. You gave it to him. You let him have it. And he broke it.

Girl
Yes. I guess you are right.

Guy
But hearts aren’t made to give. They are meant to be shared. Equally. With someone who I… someone you loves you as much as you love them.

Girl
I… I think I know what you are saying.

Guy
Yes?

Girl
I’ve been blind this whole time!

Guy
Yes!

Girl
I don’t need to give my heart away, I need to share it.

Guy
Yes! Share it!

Girl
Thank you! I’m going to go find Joe and give it another chance.  Thank you!

Guy
But! But I..

Girl
I did it all wrong  the first time around. This time, things will be different. Thank you!

(She kisses him on the cheek.)

GIRL
I don’t need this anymore. (She removes the pineapple and throws it on the bar.)

Joe! (She leaves.)

The guy stands up and watches her go. He then clutches his chest and bends over in pain.  With a gasp, he reaches for the pineapple and puts it on. 

Hobo Egg

Here at the HolyJuan house, the only way to get our kids to eat eggs is to make Hobo Eggs for them. I'm sure it's because it is cool looking and interactive.  Here's how we do it:

Ingredients:
Slice of bread
Butter
Egg

Tools:
Knife
Plate
Frying pan
Spataula
Narrow glass

Grab a slice of bread and put it on a plate:

Butter it, one side only:

If you try to butter both sides, you'll get most the butter sticking to the plate.  Just butter one side.

Now, get your narrow glass. Make sure it doesn't breach the crust or you will have a broken dam egg situation.  A shot glass is too small. A tumbler is too big.  I suggest a Star Wars glass. "Egg or egg not, there is no egg beaters.":

Now, force the glass down through the bread to create a tiny bread circle:

Now, go back in time and put your frying pan on the stove on medium heat.  Good! Now, drop a dollop of butter in the pan and wait for it to melt. Drop the circle of bread on it butter side up:

Now do the same with the bread. Get enough butter in the pan to make a bread sized pool of melted butter and drop your big slice of bread on it butter side up:

I usually add a little more butter in the middle, just to make sure:

Now, add the egg. Crack it first:

Flip both:

Make sure you don't cook the yolk all the way though so the small round piece can be used for dipping:

And that is how you make a Hobo Egg!

Next week, Pressed Duck.

The Saddest Spoon OR Beloved Silverware Found

My co-worker, Hugh, found this spoon below at the Goodwill Store. (Side Story - We have a project that requires a large amount of spoons and he went to the Goodwill to buy them. As he was checking out with every spoon in the store, the lady said, "You can't buy all these spoons." Hugh asked why. She said, "Because then we won't have any spoons if someone else wants to buy them." In the end, he lied and said he was buying them for an old folks home kitchen and she bought it, so he bought the spoons.)
The bottom of the handle has a small hole for mounting or possibly a necklace.
The spoon is engraved, "Susie, Will You Marry Me?" along with the date in 2012.




The backside says, "To my First, Last and Only True Love"


I see two scenarios: 

Scenario One: This poor schmuck asked Susie to marry him and she said, "No way, spoon boy."  He then gave the spoon to Goodwill in the hopes to write off his misery on his taxes."

Scenario Two: Susie said , "Yes," but that when they moved in together the spoon was lost when they gave away all their worldly possessions, because with this kind of spoon loves, they only need each other and this piece of silverware.  So if you know the owners, let me know and we can try to get it back to them.

I really hope it is scenario two.

Jury Duty - By Tom Lynch

Tom Lynch (@DIGcomic  on Twiiter) heard I was going to be on jury duty next week and created this drawing. I absolutely love it.