Showing posts with label video. Show all posts
Showing posts with label video. Show all posts

Why I like Thunderheist's "Jerk It" video By that-go

Please be aware that the video below is very suggestive and deserves to be played very loudly in the comfort of your home/apartment/cardboard box behind Starbucks with wifi reception. Not for work. Not to be shared except with me.

I like this video. I have watched it several times and have come to understand myself a little bit better because of this video. I can only hope that you learn a little bit about yourself or that you learn that I am creepy. More creepy.

Please absorb and remember to play this loud and alone:


So here is my list of reasons for liking this, kind of in order as they appear in the video:

Great beat
Dancing girl
Pretty girl
No make up
Clenched fist
Handjob suggestion
Eyes closed
Boob shake
Slow motion
Awesome framing
Detail to the twisting leg
Hair stuck on lip
Crinkled nose

In the end, it's the crinkled nose that did it for me. I don't know why, but when a girl gives you the crinkled nose, it's pretty much on.

Transcript of the Patton Oswalt "Black Angus" stand-up

Patton Oswalt - Black Angus

I am getting a st… I'm gonin’.. when I fly back to LA tomorrow I am going to the Buggy Whip restaurant and getting a giant fucking steak. You heard me! I enjoy steak too much because I hate hippies so much. You know what I mean. I enjoy it more than I think I actually enjoy it. Every time you eat a steak, like a hippy’s hacky sack goes down the gutter, you know, “Oh man, oh dude, what the fuck man.” Every time you eat a steak a hippy’s hacky sack goes into the sewer. Always remember that.

And I like the… I mean I’ll go to Lawrys and Ruth’s Chris, the really high end steak houses. But I’ll go to the shitball steak house, I don’t care. Outback. Blank Angus. I’m there, it’s steak. Not so much Black Angus, thought. Cause do you remember how friendly the ads for Black Angus use to be? They like, Come on in! Have a steak. How about a baked potato? You’re like, how bout yeah! I’ll see you tomorrow night. Table for two, 7:15.

Now the ads for Black Angus, have you noticed how it’s turned into this gauntlet of angry food? It’s almost like they’re like challenging you?

“At Black Angus, we’ll start you off with our appetizer platter, featuring five jumbo deep fried gulf shrimp, served on a disk of salted butter, with 15 of our potato bacon bombs and a big bowl of pork cracklins with our cheese and butter dippin’ sauce. “

Your like, um we’re all gonna split that…

“Awe, you’ll each get your own!”

“Then well take you to our mile long soup and salad bar featuring bacon and cheese cream soup and our five head of ice burg lettuce He-Man salad, served in a punch bowl with 18 pounds of ranch dressing, pork stuff deep fried croutons and, what the hell, a couple of corn dogs.”

Uh, hey man, I tell you what, I’ll just get like a mixed green salad.

“Hey, I’ll suck a cock on the Golden Gate Bridge before I bring you a mixed green buddy.”

I.. what? I?

“Then we’ll wheel out our bottomless trough of friend dough.”

Wait a minute, am I getting a steak?

“Oh you’ll get a fucking steak. Cause then we’ll bring out our 55 ounce Lost Mesa, He-Man steak slab, served with a deep fried pumpkin, stuffed with buttered scallops and 53 of our potato bacon bombs.”

Oh dude, I don’t think…

“And then bend over Abigail May cause here comes the gravy pipe.”


“Black Angus, door are locked from the outside, faggot!”

But, no. What, when did I?

“At Black Angus, your name is Peaches.”


A video from around 2003. Dave and I helped to host the talent show and we created video filler material. This was one of the bits.

And I was thin in this video.

Wisdom from a friend

I sent a buddy of mine a link to a video of Mike Rowe speaking at TED. His reply (which I have slightly edited) was unexpected, but appreciated.

I say I am a (occupation) a lot. That is my job, but in reality I do very little of that. I am a defender, an advocate, cheerleader, a motivator, a negotiator, a diplomat, a lobbyist and all of these things, make me a leader. I do all of these things in support of those who do the work. Mike is a great speaker. Most people don't pay attention to the fact that the people that grease the wheels of the world, are those that have the gift of oration. I would venture to bet that almost all great things and a whole lot of bad deeds, were born of a great speech. And, even more likely, a small quiet conversation around the water cooler. No product was ever sold or mission ever accomplished simply buying the item, but buying the seller. Wow, all that and not one sarcastic comment or joke, sorry.

Thanks for that.

You suck, CNN camera symbol!

I read because I don't have time to think about news and political debate, I just want to know how many people died and how good looking the teacher having sex with her students is.

But CNN has made my life difficult because of video. On their front page, they list their headlines and if there is a little camera symbol at the end, it means the link goes to a video. Even if you just click on the text, it goes to the video.

The video starts out with a 15 - 30 second commercial and then dumps into the news video clip from their channel. By the time they get to the goods, I've copied the headline of the news story, searched for it on Google News and found similar print stories.

What inevitably ends up happening is that the original video playing in the background rolls into the next news video in queue, which is more than likely a Nancy Grace bit and in a rush to make her go away, I reset the computer.

I like my local NBC affiliate website because they have the camera symbol, but it is a tabbed option.

Greg Scores

Greg is good at soccer. He's no prodigy, but gosh darn it he's got some natural talent.

Styling - With Mr. T

Mr. T shows us why most history books skip the years 1984 - 1987.

I also like at the end when Mr. T threatens the fashion designers with cannibalism.


I just realized that I can post videos to my site.

Do you have a video you want posted? Do you have a video that someone else does not want posted? Lemmie know!

I have an audience to maintain so keep it somewhere between PG13 and Patton Oswald.

It actually is the worst fight scene ever

This video is labeled "The Worst Fight Scene Ever!"

I was going to try and convince you that it is actually the BEST fight scene ever, but I cannot because it is the worst fight scene ever.

To make matters worse, the video compression is causing the audio to be out of snyc. Actually, that makes the clip that much funnier.