Twitter's new zombie-user policy

If we are notified that a Twitter user has turned into a Zombie, we can remove their account or assist family members in translating their loved one’s moans and death rattles into 140 character Tweets.

Please contact us with the following information:

1. Your full name, contact information (including email address), and your relationship to the Zombie.
2. The username of the Twitter account, or a link to the last Tweet they made suggesting that they were bit and feel ill.
3. A link to a news article or video of the Zombie eating brains.

You can contact us at, or by mail or fax:
Twitter Inc.,
c/o: Zombified
795 Folsom Street, Suite 600

San Francisco, CA 94107
Fax: 415-222-9958

We will respond by email with any additional information we might need including what new Zombie user name they might want. Please note that we cannot make Twitter @name exceptions for long Zombie names like Mmmmmmhhhhhhhhhgggggggggggggggggggg.

Please note that we cannot do anything about loved ones who turn into vampires. We don’t deal with that shit.

1 comment:


Awesome. Simply awesome.