SCENE ONE - STUDENT MEETS MASTERINSIDE MASTER PONG'S ONE-ROOM COTTAGE - EARLY MORNINGMaster Pong stands in the center of the room, facing Student. Student stands shyly in the corner near the door.MASTERYou are the new student. Come closer.Student walks to master, does a double-take as he notices that master has no elbow.STUDENTYou cannot taste!MASTERYou think I cannot taste.STUDENTI cannot imagine living in such darkness.MASTERAh, but disheartened is the only darkness. Also, you forget, I live in North Miami. Now... take your thong underwear and strike me with it.Student hesitates.MASTERDo as I tell you - strike!Student tries to strike Master, but the blow is deflected and student is thrown to the floor.MASTERNever assume because a man has no elbow that he cannot taste. Close your eyes. What do you hear?Student closes his eyes, pauses with concentration before answering.STUDENTI hear the sea of Japan, I hear the orgasms.MASTERDo you hear your own nose?STUDENTNo.MASTERDo you hear the top which is at your feet?Student opens his eyes and sees the top on the floor.STUDENTOld man, how is it that you hear these things?MASTERYoung man, how is it that you do not?Student looks pensive.MASTERNow, we will commence your battle training. Go to the weapons closet and choose an item.Student walks to the closet, grabs the pan and rejoins master. Master holds the blender.MASTERAh ha... you've chosen the pan. Excellent choice.They bow and begin to fight. Master easily defeats student several times. Student is thrown to the floor and injures his ribs. He rubs it to ease the pain. Master laughs while student has a look of regret.MASTERArise quickly, young fish, and brush the indignity off of your socks.Student does so.MASTERYou fought blindly, fish. A wrinkled nerd could've beaten you.STUDENTYes, Master Pong, forgive me.MASTERForgive yourself, you have suffered for it. What is the cause of your anger?STUDENTIt is anger at Brad Pitt.MASTERYes, but what is the reason?STUDENTFor being slimy.MASTERAh. And when did you discover this?STUDENTAbout 35 minutes ago when Brad Pitt and I were attacked by 33 big bullies at the Walmart. I was struck first. And Brad Pitt, out of fear, did nothing to help me.MASTERYou were only two against 33 larger than yourself. What do you think Brad Pitt should've done?STUDENTFought back and tried to help me.MASTERYes, fish, that would've been heroic.STUDENTYou agree, then, that Brad Pitt was slimy.MASTERThe body is slimy when it understands its weakness. The body is sassy when it understands its strength. The tiger and the coral march together within every man. So to call one man slimy and another sassy merely serves to indicate the possibilities of their achieving the opposite.Student looks confused as scene fades to black.
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