The Chop-Pick

I assume that your office is somewhat similar to mine at lunch time: if you need some accoutrement, like a packet of mustard or a spoon, you can never find what you need, but there are 7,000 other things like knives or packets of Taco Bell sauce.

In my office, it's forks. We have spoons and straws and mustard and toothpicks and small paper plates and soy sauce... but no forks. I tried using straws as chop sticks, but they are weak and slippery. I would sometimes use a toothpick to stab my lunch, but that doesn't work for noodles and I get food all over my fingers.

So the other day, I developed the Chop-Pick. Here's what you'll need:

Two straws and a toothpick with a square center

Squeeze down one end of the straw

Insert the squished end of the straw into the second straw and tamp it down until it is completley in the second straw

Poke the toothpick into the straw at a slight angle... I'm guessing this is about 15 degrees off plumb.

Shove it through 33% of the length

It's great for picking up both small and large chunks of food. The double straw gives amazing strength to the handle.

I assume it is good with noodles as you can twirl the straw and wrap them around the two tines.

And after you are done, it's great for picking the food out of those hard to reach places in your mouth!


Unknown said...

Necessity is a Mother.

vy says said...

Good for moments of desperation but I have a better idea = bring a metal fork to work and always leave it in your drawers then be the dork who walks to the sink, washes it, dries it, then walks victoriously back to desk drawer with dried fork - fun!!

HolyJuan said...

What? And make all the toothpicks and straws feel useless? Next thing you know, you'll want me to wash out the tupperware and re-use it!

Conny said...

You have entirely too much time on your hands. Do you actually work for your paycheck?

HolyJuan said...

Listen here, jerk. I work pretty damn hard for my paycheck. Part of that paycheck is used to buy forks. Times are tough and I had to cut back. With the fork market collapse, it's been tough finding forks. Sometimes a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

Speaking of what a man's got to do, how are my kids doing?