I was asked to try out the new uniform. I think it looks awesome.
The colors represent sincerity, allegiance and fortitude.
The shirt also keeps my bra flab minimized while increasing the girth of my pipes.
New Corporate Branding
Our company is trying some new Branding and changing our work attire is one method of creating a new look and feel.
I was asked to try out the new uniform. I think it looks awesome.
The colors represent sincerity, allegiance and fortitude.
The shirt also keeps my bra flab minimized while increasing the girth of my pipes.
I was asked to try out the new uniform. I think it looks awesome.
The colors represent sincerity, allegiance and fortitude.
The shirt also keeps my bra flab minimized while increasing the girth of my pipes.
Elementary School Teaching American Children English… With a British Accent!
LANCASTER, OH - Tallmadge Elementary in Lancaster, Ohio is a very normal Midwestern grade school: there's a flag pole, kids running around on the playground, a cafeteria that smells a little like Johnny-Marzetti and a whole generation of children learning the Queen's English. And when I say Queen's English, I mean with the British accent, right-o!
Harken Stackmore is the 3rd grade English teacher and teaches the children Received Pronunciation or as you and I might call it, British Accent English. (Read Mr. Stackmore's quotes with a British accent for full effect.) "The children are marvelous pupils and have accepted learning proper English not only in a grammatical sense, but with a British flair as well." When asked why teach and enforce a British accent, Mr. Stackmore was very clear, "A British accent sounds more intelligent that the standard American accent. These Midwesterns run their e's and o's together and add extra syllables where none should exist. I'm not only making them smarter… I'm making them sound smarter."
Principal Harvey Rogers agrees with Harken Stackmore, "When I watch an infomercial on the T.V., I tend to think the British people sound smarter. I'm more likely to buy from one or vote on American Idol for whoever the British person says to." When the program started, Principal Rogers was a bit doubtful, "I didn't think it was gonna work, but when I heard a nine year old girl talking in an accent about her 'pleats and whatnot' I was sold."
Local parents are still a little unsure. Marion Rents' son, Bill, is in the fourth grade and into his second year of British English, "Bill says stuff and I can't understand him sometimes. Of course, before the class, he said a lot of stuff I didn't understand much neither." Her husband was a little less critical, "He sounds like a military officer from the movies. I think it's cool." Bill did not have much to say except, "I like it. I like it a lot."
Mr. Stackmore teaches his style of Queen's English in three parts. He explained, "Part one involves re-learning pronunciation of the alphabet. This is accomplished by watching the film 'Mary Poppins' over and again. Part two is sub-divided into common British phrases and learning how to be embarrassed easily. Part three is comprised of slang, cockney insults and talking about how much better we British are than the rest of the world."
While Mr. Stackmore continues his classes and guiding the other teachers on British pronunciation and gestures, he hopes that someday his methods will spread throughout Ohio and the United States, "The colonies could use a good verbal scrubbing. And I've got the oratory brush to do it. Look, I have no choice but to acknowledge Britain's diminished status in the world. But, I'm trying to do my part for Queen and country. While we Brits can no longer say 'The Sun Never Sets on the British Empire,' I'm hoping that we can at least say that 'The Sun Never Sets on the British Accent.' Cheerio, Governor."
Harken Stackmore is the 3rd grade English teacher and teaches the children Received Pronunciation or as you and I might call it, British Accent English. (Read Mr. Stackmore's quotes with a British accent for full effect.) "The children are marvelous pupils and have accepted learning proper English not only in a grammatical sense, but with a British flair as well." When asked why teach and enforce a British accent, Mr. Stackmore was very clear, "A British accent sounds more intelligent that the standard American accent. These Midwesterns run their e's and o's together and add extra syllables where none should exist. I'm not only making them smarter… I'm making them sound smarter."
Principal Harvey Rogers agrees with Harken Stackmore, "When I watch an infomercial on the T.V., I tend to think the British people sound smarter. I'm more likely to buy from one or vote on American Idol for whoever the British person says to." When the program started, Principal Rogers was a bit doubtful, "I didn't think it was gonna work, but when I heard a nine year old girl talking in an accent about her 'pleats and whatnot' I was sold."
Local parents are still a little unsure. Marion Rents' son, Bill, is in the fourth grade and into his second year of British English, "Bill says stuff and I can't understand him sometimes. Of course, before the class, he said a lot of stuff I didn't understand much neither." Her husband was a little less critical, "He sounds like a military officer from the movies. I think it's cool." Bill did not have much to say except, "I like it. I like it a lot."
Mr. Stackmore teaches his style of Queen's English in three parts. He explained, "Part one involves re-learning pronunciation of the alphabet. This is accomplished by watching the film 'Mary Poppins' over and again. Part two is sub-divided into common British phrases and learning how to be embarrassed easily. Part three is comprised of slang, cockney insults and talking about how much better we British are than the rest of the world."
While Mr. Stackmore continues his classes and guiding the other teachers on British pronunciation and gestures, he hopes that someday his methods will spread throughout Ohio and the United States, "The colonies could use a good verbal scrubbing. And I've got the oratory brush to do it. Look, I have no choice but to acknowledge Britain's diminished status in the world. But, I'm trying to do my part for Queen and country. While we Brits can no longer say 'The Sun Never Sets on the British Empire,' I'm hoping that we can at least say that 'The Sun Never Sets on the British Accent.' Cheerio, Governor."
Fake News Stories to be Made Illegal
Washington(AP) Another casualty of the financial crisis might be that the Untied States Congress has lost its funny bone. A bill introduced yesterday by Rex Bauman (D) Ohio would make fake news stories illegal and punishable by a fine of $1,000 with up to six months in prison. Representative Bauman stated, “These false news stories are as dangerous as rumor and vicious as libel. Recently, I was fooled into believing that Blackwater security forces were kicking people out of their homes in Chicago. A few angry phone calls later, I found out that this was just a fake new story. This is just wrong.”
Some online publications like The Onion and BBSpot thrive on satirical news stories. Lewis Holloway from The Onion stated that, “No one could ever think this shit was real. That was until about three years ago when the actual news started catching up with our articles from five years ago.” Lewis brought out a number of articles that his publication created in the past that have now become reality. May 2000 “Fuck It, Let’s Invade Iraq” and December 2004 “Black Dude says, ‘Shit, If This A-hole Can Be President, Why Can’t I?’”
Many people assume that the news that they read on the internet is true or at least grounded in fact. The Pew Research Center finished a study that found most people believe just about anything when a credible news source like Associated Press or The Pew Research Center is mentioned. “It’s a vicious cycle. News stories about fake news stories are then parodied and no one knows where the truth begins and satire ends. Pretty soon, quotes are not being associated with an actual person and nothing you read can be trusted.”
By this journalist’s account, there are currently two fake news stories on CNN alone with three on MSNBC, two on CSPAN and one hundred and eighty two on The Fox News Network. Representative Bauman summed it up quite nicely when he said, “I’m pretty sure that I’ll be quoted in some fake news story in the next week or two and no one will know the better.”
Some online publications like The Onion and BBSpot thrive on satirical news stories. Lewis Holloway from The Onion stated that, “No one could ever think this shit was real. That was until about three years ago when the actual news started catching up with our articles from five years ago.” Lewis brought out a number of articles that his publication created in the past that have now become reality. May 2000 “Fuck It, Let’s Invade Iraq” and December 2004 “Black Dude says, ‘Shit, If This A-hole Can Be President, Why Can’t I?’”
Many people assume that the news that they read on the internet is true or at least grounded in fact. The Pew Research Center finished a study that found most people believe just about anything when a credible news source like Associated Press or The Pew Research Center is mentioned. “It’s a vicious cycle. News stories about fake news stories are then parodied and no one knows where the truth begins and satire ends. Pretty soon, quotes are not being associated with an actual person and nothing you read can be trusted.”
By this journalist’s account, there are currently two fake news stories on CNN alone with three on MSNBC, two on CSPAN and one hundred and eighty two on The Fox News Network. Representative Bauman summed it up quite nicely when he said, “I’m pretty sure that I’ll be quoted in some fake news story in the next week or two and no one will know the better.”
Scam
Hello! You've reached this page because you did a search for one of the following people who are running a scam. Do not believe anything these people say.
Remember, nothing is free.
I'll keep this updated with my scam names and e-mail addresses.
Justice Ministry
Probate Registry Dept
Chancery Division, Strand
WC2ALL Central London
United Kingdom.
E-mail : probatedivision1@london.com
Tel: +44 702 403 6756
Fax: +44 709 285 8742
Probate Registrar,
Justice Ministry, London,
United Kingdom.
JOHNSON & LOWRY CHAMBERS:
BARRISTER DANIEL AMEN
Tel: +44 704 570 1343
+44 703 195 9969
Fax: +44 700 592 1653
E-mail: johnsonandlowrychambers@live.co.uk
Address:7 Pilgrim Street London EC4V 6LB United Kingdom
Remember, nothing is free.
I'll keep this updated with my scam names and e-mail addresses.
Justice Ministry
Probate Registry Dept
Chancery Division, Strand
WC2ALL Central London
United Kingdom.
E-mail : probatedivision1@london.com
Tel: +44 702 403 6756
Fax: +44 709 285 8742
Probate Registrar,
Justice Ministry, London,
United Kingdom.
JOHNSON & LOWRY CHAMBERS:
BARRISTER DANIEL AMEN
Tel: +44 704 570 1343
+44 703 195 9969
Fax: +44 700 592 1653
E-mail: johnsonandlowrychambers@live.co.uk
Address:7 Pilgrim Street London EC4V 6LB United Kingdom
Another wonderful bumper sticker from a McCain supporter
I couldn't believe this bumper sticker when I saw it. I was hoping that I was misreading it somehow.
I wasn't.
**edit**
That photo kinda looked photoshoppy so here is another shot of it. (Click to enlarge.)
Erik Eats Ribon Milk Soft Candy: Solid Udder Squirt Yum Snack Taste with Surprise
Erik was very hungry today, but he was also very thirsty. He desired a healthy food, but a sugary snack. He wanted a full belly, but also a way to straighten his bent spine. Is there any snack out there that can suffice?
YES!!
Ribon Milk Soft Candy!
An inspection of the package reveals a cow and the suggestion of health:
At last! A not too sticky calcium enriched soft-candy that’s both healthy and tasty.
Erik likes tasty.
Erik likes healthy.
Erik likes not too sticky on his belly. I mean, in his belly.
Pull one out Erik and let’s take a look.
Well, a solid lump of white. Let's cut it open!
Looks… calciumy.
A look at the package reveals a bunch of numbers and foreign language.
Let’s bring in our interpreter Arata Isozaki to decipher the package.
Well that was knowledgefull!
Let’s see how Erik Eats.
He likes it!
Oh! We forgot to check the ingredients. Let’s take a quick look.
Nothing odd here…
Oh no!
What's a happenin'!
He's down!
Oh look! More candies to share with others! Yum!
Next week we will try some foods we found in the cafeteria during the renovations!
YES!!
Ribon Milk Soft Candy!
An inspection of the package reveals a cow and the suggestion of health:
At last! A not too sticky calcium enriched soft-candy that’s both healthy and tasty.
Erik likes tasty.
Erik likes healthy.
Erik likes not too sticky on his belly. I mean, in his belly.
Pull one out Erik and let’s take a look.
Well, a solid lump of white. Let's cut it open!
Looks… calciumy.
A look at the package reveals a bunch of numbers and foreign language.
Let’s bring in our interpreter Arata Isozaki to decipher the package.
Well that was knowledgefull!
Let’s see how Erik Eats.
He likes it!
Oh! We forgot to check the ingredients. Let’s take a quick look.
Nothing odd here…
Oh no!
What's a happenin'!
He's down!
Oh look! More candies to share with others! Yum!
Next week we will try some foods we found in the cafeteria during the renovations!
My $29.95 Doorstop
Here is a photo of my new $29.95 doorstop.
It works out well because the extra weight of the cumbersomeness helps on breezy days. I was using it as a paper weight, but the book kept taking my simple English sentences and adding random letters and gibberish.
No one has ever accused me of being smart, but I was able to make it through Donaldson and Tolkien without plucking my eyeballs out. (Well, not The Silmarillion, so maybe you can do the math.) It’s one thing to need a glossary to decipher a book. It’s another to need to have scratch paper, the entire works of Thelenes and an abacus.
I guess I’ll just re-read Diamond Age again and remember the good days.
It works out well because the extra weight of the cumbersomeness helps on breezy days. I was using it as a paper weight, but the book kept taking my simple English sentences and adding random letters and gibberish.
No one has ever accused me of being smart, but I was able to make it through Donaldson and Tolkien without plucking my eyeballs out. (Well, not The Silmarillion, so maybe you can do the math.) It’s one thing to need a glossary to decipher a book. It’s another to need to have scratch paper, the entire works of Thelenes and an abacus.
I guess I’ll just re-read Diamond Age again and remember the good days.
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