How to Disable Facebook's "Places."
"Places" might be a wonderful option for some people, but I'd rather not let my entire collection of "friends" or the whole of the internet know where I am at. "Places" also allows other people to 'check you in' so that they can tattle on me when I am at the nudie bar seeing my favorite dancer act, Doris.
Here is how to disable places:
1. Go to Account > Privacy Settings on top right.
2. Click on ‘Customize Settings‘ link at the bottom of that page.
3. Next to “Places I check in” use the drop down box to select ‘Only Me‘.
4. Make sure to ‘uncheck” the ‘Include me in “People Here Now” after I check in’ box.
5. Further down under “Things others share” select ‘Disabled’ next to “Friends can check me in to places.”
Here is how to disable places:
1. Go to Account > Privacy Settings on top right.
2. Click on ‘Customize Settings‘ link at the bottom of that page.
3. Next to “Places I check in” use the drop down box to select ‘Only Me‘.
4. Make sure to ‘uncheck” the ‘Include me in “People Here Now” after I check in’ box.
5. Further down under “Things others share” select ‘Disabled’ next to “Friends can check me in to places.”
Allow me to explain
I created a list yesterday of the Top Ten Worst Stripper Names. Not my best work by far. In that list, amongst the wretched and disgusting names, was my grandmother's unique name. My thinking was that it would be awful to have the memory of one's grandmother tarnished by being a stripper's name. Funny, right?
Wrong.
My relatives did not find that humorous and to quote my cousin, I should, "die of shame for even having her name in this listing you unholy maggot."
So while my intent was for the sake of humor it did not come across that way. I can't really say that I'm sorry except that I'm sorry I didn't explain the joke the right way and that perhaps it was a bit unholy and maggoty.
So I edited my post and changed it to "satin peach" which is the nickname we gave a co-worker's shirt.
I hope this will not ruin our relationship.
Love,
HolyJuan
Wrong.
My relatives did not find that humorous and to quote my cousin, I should, "die of shame for even having her name in this listing you unholy maggot."
So while my intent was for the sake of humor it did not come across that way. I can't really say that I'm sorry except that I'm sorry I didn't explain the joke the right way and that perhaps it was a bit unholy and maggoty.
So I edited my post and changed it to "satin peach" which is the nickname we gave a co-worker's shirt.
I hope this will not ruin our relationship.
Love,
HolyJuan
Top Ten Worst Stripper Names
It’s best if you read these prefaced by saying, “And now welcome to the main stage the lovely…”
1. Smegma
2. Androgyny
3. Infectious
4. Satin Peach
5. Cesarean
6. Garlic
7. Mrs. Henderson
8. Ted
9. Carbon
10. Crustina
1. Smegma
2. Androgyny
3. Infectious
4. Satin Peach
5. Cesarean
6. Garlic
7. Mrs. Henderson
8. Ted
9. Carbon
10. Crustina
Bag o' Money winner!
We finally got a winner in the Bag o' Money contest. John from North Carolina correctly guessed $16.91.
Here's the goods before they were sent out. (The cash was in my car. I did actually send it.)
Here is the letter I sent along:
Dear John,
Thank you for entering and winning the “How Much Money is in the Bag” contest on holyjuan.com. While I almost had to spoon feed my readers the answer, you were the one with the wherewithal and the quickest correct guess of $16.91.
While you are taking food from the mouths of my children with this win, I do want you to spend this money appropriately. May I suggest one of the following:
16.9 condoms (use the .9 condom if you are planning on reproducing)
1 really, really cheap hooker
1/10 of a more expensive hooker
67 games of Donkey Kong at the retro arcade
33 games of Dragon’s Lair at the retro arcade
5 bags of Swedish Fish (Damn, they are addictive)
4 Happy Meals that my children will not be eating
Best of luck!
HolyJuan, Esquire
PS. Please use the included HolyJuan refrigerator magnet at your discretion. Your friends may actually find out what you have been up to.
---
And after spending $45.56 on postage, here is John with the goods!
"I always wanted a sack with $$ on it. Thanks Holy Juan!"
Here's the goods before they were sent out. (The cash was in my car. I did actually send it.)
Here is the letter I sent along:
Dear John,
Thank you for entering and winning the “How Much Money is in the Bag” contest on holyjuan.com. While I almost had to spoon feed my readers the answer, you were the one with the wherewithal and the quickest correct guess of $16.91.
While you are taking food from the mouths of my children with this win, I do want you to spend this money appropriately. May I suggest one of the following:
16.9 condoms (use the .9 condom if you are planning on reproducing)
1 really, really cheap hooker
1/10 of a more expensive hooker
67 games of Donkey Kong at the retro arcade
33 games of Dragon’s Lair at the retro arcade
5 bags of Swedish Fish (Damn, they are addictive)
4 Happy Meals that my children will not be eating
Best of luck!
HolyJuan, Esquire
PS. Please use the included HolyJuan refrigerator magnet at your discretion. Your friends may actually find out what you have been up to.
---
And after spending $45.56 on postage, here is John with the goods!
"I always wanted a sack with $$ on it. Thanks Holy Juan!"
Leah Lou
Billy invited us up to Cleveland to go see a few bands at the Beachland Ballroom. Billy has very good taste in music and has yet to let us down. While we actually went to see the headliner, Marc Broussard, I was much more intrigued by the opener Leah Lou.
WARNING! You will either dig this chick's music or not. I like her. If you do not, you obviously have crappy taste in music.
Check her out at http://www.myspace.com/leahlou12.
And while I am not a starfucker, the opportunity did arise and I got a photo with my new girlfriend.
WARNING! You will either dig this chick's music or not. I like her. If you do not, you obviously have crappy taste in music.
Check her out at http://www.myspace.com/leahlou12.
And while I am not a starfucker, the opportunity did arise and I got a photo with my new girlfriend.
Stoned Stoneder Stonederiest
Oddly enough, we thought of these t-shirts while we were at Lollapalooza.
If you and your two stoned friends want t-shirts, you can buy them here:
STONED
STONEDER
STONDERIEST
If you and your two stoned friends want t-shirts, you can buy them here:
STONED
STONEDER
STONDERIEST
The Invitation and Then What We Did Once We Realized We Actually Weren't Invited
One plugged flat tire and 250 miles later we were within 20 minutes of Eric’s place in Chicago. We texted back and forth to coordinate when we would be arriving. Eric said that he would be at a party and that we should come over to the party. In Ohio, we call that an invitation.
Greg’s TomTom was re-programmed and we were on our way. There was parking right in front of the apartment and we jumped out and stretched. We called Eric and he came out of the party and warmly greeted us as only Eric can.
“Hey guys. The party is breaking up.”
That’s fine.
“Just a minute.”
Eric went back in.
We waited about five minutes standing outside the car. A couple walked out and then went down the street. Eric came out about three minutes after that.
“Things are still breaking up. Let me grab some folks and we’ll head back to my place.”
Should we come in?
“Um, no. Wait just a minute.”
Eric went back in. About two minutes later he emerged with a girl who was very fun and a guy with a football. The girl laughed and talked to us and we threw the ball back and forth with football guy. At some point, a guy stuck his head out the door, eyed us up and went back in. I assume that was the host of the party that was breaking up.
Eric admitted that there had been a bit of a mix up. He told the people at the party that he was having a few high school friends over. The host of the party thought that Eric was bringing over people that were in high school and not happy about that. Eric went back in.
So we stood outside and waited for a total of about twenty-five minutes for the party that was breaking up to break up.
The party broke up. Several piled into Eric’s car. If I was better with names, I would tell the name of the one guy who got into Greg’s. He was a cool dude. We chatted on the way over to Eric's.
We arrived at Eric place. He’s got an awesome house. His awesome house has an even more awesome deck that we sat on under the hazy stars, drank beer, talked and laughed with Eric and his friends. We mocked Eric for inviting us to a party we were not allowed to enter. We talked of our past transgressions. Eric played music from his computer. We discussed Lollapalooza. We laughed.
Kit went to bed. I took a group shot a little while later.
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Other Photos
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Greg’s TomTom was re-programmed and we were on our way. There was parking right in front of the apartment and we jumped out and stretched. We called Eric and he came out of the party and warmly greeted us as only Eric can.
“Hey guys. The party is breaking up.”
That’s fine.
“Just a minute.”
Eric went back in.
We waited about five minutes standing outside the car. A couple walked out and then went down the street. Eric came out about three minutes after that.
“Things are still breaking up. Let me grab some folks and we’ll head back to my place.”
Should we come in?
“Um, no. Wait just a minute.”
Eric went back in. About two minutes later he emerged with a girl who was very fun and a guy with a football. The girl laughed and talked to us and we threw the ball back and forth with football guy. At some point, a guy stuck his head out the door, eyed us up and went back in. I assume that was the host of the party that was breaking up.
Eric admitted that there had been a bit of a mix up. He told the people at the party that he was having a few high school friends over. The host of the party thought that Eric was bringing over people that were in high school and not happy about that. Eric went back in.
So we stood outside and waited for a total of about twenty-five minutes for the party that was breaking up to break up.
The party broke up. Several piled into Eric’s car. If I was better with names, I would tell the name of the one guy who got into Greg’s. He was a cool dude. We chatted on the way over to Eric's.
We arrived at Eric place. He’s got an awesome house. His awesome house has an even more awesome deck that we sat on under the hazy stars, drank beer, talked and laughed with Eric and his friends. We mocked Eric for inviting us to a party we were not allowed to enter. We talked of our past transgressions. Eric played music from his computer. We discussed Lollapalooza. We laughed.
Kit went to bed. I took a group shot a little while later.
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Other Photos
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