I split open with laughter every time I hear this Patton Oswalt stand up. (CAUTION: offensive language and reference to cock sucking on the Golden Gate Bridge.)
64 Words from HolyJuan - Buddy Blind Copy
{Editor's note: I was going to write for another site, but I could not fit my format to theirs. We tried to meet in the middle with "64 words," but it just didn't work out. So here is a pilot article whose topic will probably never see the light of day again unless someone requests it.)
Buddy Blind Copy is the art of creating serious e-mail messages that go out to unsuspecting co-workers and clients, but that are also blind copied to your friend(s). Carefully use inside jokes, innuendo and double entendres liberally though the e-mail. Your recipients will be clueless and your friends get a laugh. Just ensure your mate does not "reply to all" and get you fired.
Buddy Blind Copy is the art of creating serious e-mail messages that go out to unsuspecting co-workers and clients, but that are also blind copied to your friend(s). Carefully use inside jokes, innuendo and double entendres liberally though the e-mail. Your recipients will be clueless and your friends get a laugh. Just ensure your mate does not "reply to all" and get you fired.
Milk, Milk, Lemonade T-Shirt
My newest t-shirt design at Skreened.com:
Check it out at http://skreened.com/holyjuan/milk-milk-lemonade
Check it out at http://skreened.com/holyjuan/milk-milk-lemonade
Jesus opens a cleaning business
I got this business card from my classmate Jamey:
Which leads me to ask:
If Jesus is your boss and you call off fake sick, will he forgive you?
Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal cleaner?
If you go into the dirty bathroom and say, "It smells like someone died in here," would Jesus turn to you and say, "Sorry, that's me."
Which leads me to ask:
If Jesus is your boss and you call off fake sick, will he forgive you?
Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal cleaner?
If you go into the dirty bathroom and say, "It smells like someone died in here," would Jesus turn to you and say, "Sorry, that's me."
Target: Expect Less. Pay More.
I was just at Target to pick up some toothpaste and Coke. The first display I saw was 12 - 12oz cans of Coke for $3.33. The big red numbers really attracted my attention!
On my way to the check out, I noticed that there were other Cokes for sale, but at a higher price of $3.99. I took a closer look and found out why they cost more: there were 8 - 8oz. cans instead.
I'm not sure what you do with an 8oz Coke, besides drink two of them, but it seems a bit off base to sell them at three times what the twelve ounce Cokes cost. I decided to update the Target tagline in this photo to reflect the pricing.
There is a moral to this story. Being the smug, self centered jerk that I am, I actually did not buy either of these two items and instead opted for the cheaper 2 liter bottle of Coke for $1.69 because 2-liters are always cheaper than the canned stuff.
Wrong!
12 -12oz cans @ 3.33 = .023 per ounce
8 - 8oz cans @ 3.99 = .062 per ounce
1 - 2 liter @ 1.69 = .025 per ounce
I should have bought the 12 oz cans!
On my way to the check out, I noticed that there were other Cokes for sale, but at a higher price of $3.99. I took a closer look and found out why they cost more: there were 8 - 8oz. cans instead.
I'm not sure what you do with an 8oz Coke, besides drink two of them, but it seems a bit off base to sell them at three times what the twelve ounce Cokes cost. I decided to update the Target tagline in this photo to reflect the pricing.
There is a moral to this story. Being the smug, self centered jerk that I am, I actually did not buy either of these two items and instead opted for the cheaper 2 liter bottle of Coke for $1.69 because 2-liters are always cheaper than the canned stuff.
Wrong!
12 -12oz cans @ 3.33 = .023 per ounce
8 - 8oz cans @ 3.99 = .062 per ounce
1 - 2 liter @ 1.69 = .025 per ounce
I should have bought the 12 oz cans!
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