Fungus of crunchy tongue with delicious turning of flavor

After last week’s maggot cookie debacle, we were able to track down a product that combined fungal mystery with chocolate dippery. This week’s Erik Eats product is…


???
Dang. It’s got no name that we can decipher. Plan B is to flip the box over and check out the English Product Information sticker that covers over the actual ingredients with shit the FDA would approve:


Wheat Cracker? Oh well… not as fun as Every Burger, but it will have to do. Erik contemplated the packaging and remembers that last week I screwed him over an made him eat turd cookies.


He forges ahead...


Erik opens the box to reveal a single package.


Oh! The lid has a diagram with some writing.

Let’s contact our close friend and translator, Arata Isozaki.Here is what it says:


Nice!

Erik tears into the package with savageness and love.


Wow! The cookie looks just like the illustrations on the outside of the package said it would!


Let’s find out how truthful the packaging really is. Here’s the box with a mushroom cookie.


Now Erik deftly cuts into one of the cookies.


A closer look!


Wow! An exact match! Unbelievable! I almost feel bad about making up the bra removal stuff!

Let’s get on to the tasting.


Yes?


Go on!


It delicious! Sweet. A little salty. A very crunchy!

Great job Erik! Next week: Fecal Butter Chunks

The Real Question is: After Eight Years, Is George Bush Experienced Enough to Be President?

There has been some banter back and forth about Obama’s experience being less than Hillary’s because she had eight years of on the job training, behind the scenes, not baking cookies in the White House. Of course then people ask if Laura Bush is qualified for the Presidency because she has eight years experience, chain smoking at the White House.

The real question should be: Is George Bush experienced enough to be President? He’s got eight years, 9/11, and two wars under his belt. Knowing what we know now, with Bush’s eight years of experience, would anyone, besides the Jesus Crispies, have voted for him in 2000? If they could again in 2008?

Now… how much does “White House experience” matter?

Turning off the Alarm Clock

20 Year Reunion

Holy Shit. I am old.

It's time for our 20 year high school reunion. I'm in charge of getting the cool name tags with the yearbook photos on them. Since I was scanning the year book, I grabbed this photo.


If you are interested, I cut out my hair, part down the middle and all. Print it out and use it on your photos at home!


Kinda like this:


If you were in my class and need reunion information, drop me and my hair an e-mail at holyjuan@gmail.com.

Idiot

Here's the original photo from http://weblog.sinteur.com/?p=22366

Morning Math

Young Jesus Plays with his Food

Ricin Guy Hotel Room

Accidental Racist

I work for a company with a high regard for Team. We call ourselves “Team Members” and everyone refers to everyone else as “Team Members.”

A few weeks ago, a number of folks at work joined in a “The Biggest Loser” competition. We were split up on teams that were named by color. Red, blue, black and so on. I’m on the Black Team. As part of the Black Team, my job is to create viral interference and lay down a steady stream of practical jokes and humorous e-mails, like this sign where I suggest all the teams, except the Black Team, eat free fudge.


A few days ago at work, I noticed an empty box sitting on a cabinet in the main hallway in the same place where the free fudge had been. I’m sure just moments before the empty box was filled with sweet goodies, but the team had swooped in and finished off what ever deliciousness the box held. Now it was just an empty box. So I went to my desk and fashioned a sign for the Black Team with an arrow pointing down. The sign said:

CALORIE FREE DREAM NOTHINGNESS CAKES FOR BLACK TEAM MEMBERS ONLY

I posted it above the empty box and thought that it was a good joke for the Black Team.

I didn’t realize that the sign said “FOR BLACK TEAM MEMBERS” or how 99% of our employees would read it as “FOR BLACKS ONLY.”

Fortunately, a VP took the sign down about five minutes after I put it up. She knew it was probably my doing and mentioned it to me a few days later.

I. Am. Dumb.

Greg and Dad: The relationship would never work