Banh Men, Coconut Cookies: Of Taste in which Enhanced Odor is Likened
After getting fingered for taking photos at the Chinese Buffet, we went over to the Chinese Grocery to see if anything new was in stock. I didn’t find anything, but our hero Erik located and purchased these Banh Men, Coconut Cookies.
I wasn’t very excited about the prospect of “Erik Eats” with this product. Half of the surprise is seeing what is inside the container. This container is clear plastic and the somewhat maggot shaped cookies were visibly apparent.
A closer look reveals that the cookies look a lot like maggots!
Here's a close up of a cookie in my hand.
And a photo of a maggot from the internet thanks to the fine folks at dragonflypower.com.
And now a closer look at that cookie in my hand again.
The photo on the front of the container shows that the cookies should be served with pickled fish eggs and goat's milk cottage cheese.
We didn't have any of those other accoutrements, so we moved on to the taste testing. Erik opened the container and OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT STINK!
The stank that belched from the jar is an ungodly combination of bitter vomit and rotting, wet pancake shoes. There is not one ounce of coconut smell. Here are a few photos of folks smelling the Coconut Cookie open container:
Erik
HolyJuan
Stephanie avoids
Andy is tricked!
Once Erik finally got up the nerve, he ate one of the devil's cookies.
The taste is the exact same as the smell except that the smell wafts away in a few seconds and the thick, smegma paste lingers in one's mouth for minutes. It is horrible and disgusting.
And for fun, Erik stuck a few in my coffee cup and for the life of me I cannot scrub the nastiness of the horrid stink out of my cup.
I'll get him next week when we taste test: Bo Chi Dushu, Fetal Pig Uterus.
I wasn’t very excited about the prospect of “Erik Eats” with this product. Half of the surprise is seeing what is inside the container. This container is clear plastic and the somewhat maggot shaped cookies were visibly apparent.
A closer look reveals that the cookies look a lot like maggots!
Here's a close up of a cookie in my hand.
And a photo of a maggot from the internet thanks to the fine folks at dragonflypower.com.
And now a closer look at that cookie in my hand again.
The photo on the front of the container shows that the cookies should be served with pickled fish eggs and goat's milk cottage cheese.
We didn't have any of those other accoutrements, so we moved on to the taste testing. Erik opened the container and OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT STINK!
The stank that belched from the jar is an ungodly combination of bitter vomit and rotting, wet pancake shoes. There is not one ounce of coconut smell. Here are a few photos of folks smelling the Coconut Cookie open container:
Erik
HolyJuan
Stephanie avoids
Andy is tricked!
Once Erik finally got up the nerve, he ate one of the devil's cookies.
The taste is the exact same as the smell except that the smell wafts away in a few seconds and the thick, smegma paste lingers in one's mouth for minutes. It is horrible and disgusting.
And for fun, Erik stuck a few in my coffee cup and for the life of me I cannot scrub the nastiness of the horrid stink out of my cup.
I'll get him next week when we taste test: Bo Chi Dushu, Fetal Pig Uterus.
You take picture?
During lunch at our local Asian Buffet, we noticed a curious dish labeled “Marinated Steak.” Foods with the word steak in them have to be good. As a matter of fact, this dish is SO good that the management took the time to write, “For Customer Only” on the label. This dish is SO delicious that the employees are banned from eating it!
I thought I would take a photo of the sign to share with you. I borrowed Heather’s cell camera because mine sucks Sweet and Sour Chicken Balls. I walked up to take the photo and the only folks at the buffet were three people that work there. Two were loading up plates (but not with Marinated Steak!) and one was cleaning. I did not want to take the photo with anyone watching so I pretended like I was going back for fifths without a plate and a phone in my hand. The old man filling his plate seemed to be looking at me so I stuffed the phone in my pocket and checked out the desert trough. When I thought he was gone, I pulled out the unfamiliar camera, fumbled with it for a second and took this outrageously horrible shot.
I went back to the table, sat down and gave Heather back her camera.
“Excuse me sir?”
It was the Hostess. “Excuse me sir, my boss says you take picture.”
Fumbling words, “Um, yeah I did.”
“He wants to know why you take picture.”
“For my website.”
“What?”
“For my WEBSITE.” (When someone doesn’t understand you, speak louder.)
“What??”
I translated, “For my REB-SRITE.”
“Oh, you have brog?”
{AUTHOR’S NOTE – I just made that few lines up. Let me continue back where I started lying.}
It was the Hostess. “Excuse me sir, my boss says you take picture.”
Fumbling words, “Um, yeah I did.”
“He wants to know why you take picture.”
“I think that sign that says “For Customer Only” is funny. I can erase the photo if you want.”
“No. It’s OK. He just want to know why you take picture.”
She left. We paid. We left.
My co-workers said they would kill me if we all got banned. No Marinated Steak for you!
I thought I would take a photo of the sign to share with you. I borrowed Heather’s cell camera because mine sucks Sweet and Sour Chicken Balls. I walked up to take the photo and the only folks at the buffet were three people that work there. Two were loading up plates (but not with Marinated Steak!) and one was cleaning. I did not want to take the photo with anyone watching so I pretended like I was going back for fifths without a plate and a phone in my hand. The old man filling his plate seemed to be looking at me so I stuffed the phone in my pocket and checked out the desert trough. When I thought he was gone, I pulled out the unfamiliar camera, fumbled with it for a second and took this outrageously horrible shot.
I went back to the table, sat down and gave Heather back her camera.
“Excuse me sir?”
It was the Hostess. “Excuse me sir, my boss says you take picture.”
Fumbling words, “Um, yeah I did.”
“He wants to know why you take picture.”
“For my website.”
“What?”
“For my WEBSITE.” (When someone doesn’t understand you, speak louder.)
“What??”
I translated, “For my REB-SRITE.”
“Oh, you have brog?”
{AUTHOR’S NOTE – I just made that few lines up. Let me continue back where I started lying.}
It was the Hostess. “Excuse me sir, my boss says you take picture.”
Fumbling words, “Um, yeah I did.”
“He wants to know why you take picture.”
“I think that sign that says “For Customer Only” is funny. I can erase the photo if you want.”
“No. It’s OK. He just want to know why you take picture.”
She left. We paid. We left.
My co-workers said they would kill me if we all got banned. No Marinated Steak for you!
Freckled Jen to the rescue for the Erik Eats segments
We've done two "Erik Eats" segments where our hero Erik eats foods from Japan. Every Burger and Gummy Choco.
We had pretty much utilized all the fun stuff at the Chinese grocery store and were going to move on to eels when Freckled Jen sent me this photo from the North Market.
Looks like Erik's got a full menu to taste!!
As a bonus, here is a photo of Jen's sister Michelle at CD101 as their Guest DJ.
We had pretty much utilized all the fun stuff at the Chinese grocery store and were going to move on to eels when Freckled Jen sent me this photo from the North Market.
Looks like Erik's got a full menu to taste!!
As a bonus, here is a photo of Jen's sister Michelle at CD101 as their Guest DJ.
10 Movies that Make a Manly Man Cry
Though my manliness boils from my pores like a dropped bottle of Old Rasputin, I have my moments of weakness where I cry like a little girl. It used to only be during AT&T long distance commercials, but now I have a list of movies that cause me to weep.
Rudy
No real man doesn’t tear up when the team places their jerseys on coach’s desk or openly weep at the end when they carry Rudy off the field.
Big Fish
The first time I watched Big Fish, I cried at the ending. Now when I watch the film, I cry at the beginning, knowing how it will end. Afterwards, I drink tea and cuddle up in an afghan with a good book, waiting for my menses to begin.
Field of Dreams
“Hey! Dad? You want to have a catch?” I’m tearing up just writing that line. (I'm still waiting for James Earl Jones to come out of the cornfield.)
Terms of Endearment
I haven’t seen this flick in years, but I recently caught the end and had to turn it off when the mom lays down The Truth on the kids. I love the part when Mom’s Mom flips out at the nurses for the daughter’s pain medication. "GIVE MY DAUGHTER THE SHOT!"
Gallipoli
Mel Gibson runs and runs to try and save his childhood friend. In the end it is all for naught. “How fast are you going to run?” Not fast enough. Now that I know I’m going to cry at the end, I get choked up at the rendition of "Au Fond du Temple Saint" in the middle.
My Girl
Macaulay Culkin gets killed by bees. Little Vada wants to put his glasses on. He was going to be an acrobat.
Mask
Rocky dead in bed is heartbreaking. SPOILER WARNING! That first sentence is kinda a spoiler. Don’t read it if you have not seen the film.
Ordinary People
I love Mary Tyler Moore in this film. She is drowned in her own selfish grief. Older bro is just drowned.
Good Will Hunting
Obviously films with psychologists and troubled sons get me all verklempt.
Highlander II: The Quickening
I cried only because this movie was completely and utterly horrible. I will never think about this movie again unless I am being anally raped in prison and need to imagine that somewhere in the world, someone is watching that appalling movie and doing worse than me.
BONUS MAN CRY FILMS
Saving Private Ryan
A Perfect World
Braveheart
Rudy
No real man doesn’t tear up when the team places their jerseys on coach’s desk or openly weep at the end when they carry Rudy off the field.
Big Fish
The first time I watched Big Fish, I cried at the ending. Now when I watch the film, I cry at the beginning, knowing how it will end. Afterwards, I drink tea and cuddle up in an afghan with a good book, waiting for my menses to begin.
Field of Dreams
“Hey! Dad? You want to have a catch?” I’m tearing up just writing that line. (I'm still waiting for James Earl Jones to come out of the cornfield.)
Terms of Endearment
I haven’t seen this flick in years, but I recently caught the end and had to turn it off when the mom lays down The Truth on the kids. I love the part when Mom’s Mom flips out at the nurses for the daughter’s pain medication. "GIVE MY DAUGHTER THE SHOT!"
Gallipoli
Mel Gibson runs and runs to try and save his childhood friend. In the end it is all for naught. “How fast are you going to run?” Not fast enough. Now that I know I’m going to cry at the end, I get choked up at the rendition of "Au Fond du Temple Saint" in the middle.
My Girl
Macaulay Culkin gets killed by bees. Little Vada wants to put his glasses on. He was going to be an acrobat.
Mask
Rocky dead in bed is heartbreaking. SPOILER WARNING! That first sentence is kinda a spoiler. Don’t read it if you have not seen the film.
Ordinary People
I love Mary Tyler Moore in this film. She is drowned in her own selfish grief. Older bro is just drowned.
Good Will Hunting
Obviously films with psychologists and troubled sons get me all verklempt.
Highlander II: The Quickening
I cried only because this movie was completely and utterly horrible. I will never think about this movie again unless I am being anally raped in prison and need to imagine that somewhere in the world, someone is watching that appalling movie and doing worse than me.
BONUS MAN CRY FILMS
Saving Private Ryan
A Perfect World
Braveheart
For some reason, it's good to see that Handicapped people can be pricks, too.
This photo comes from my buddy Mike in Louisiana. The truck had handicapped plates, but they still parked like complete assholes.
I like it...
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