The INSERT key stinks

When I started my job, I received the standard desktop computer, monitor, keyboard and mouse.

As part of my regimen when starting a new job, I removed the INSERT key from the keyboard.

Keyboard


After INSERT removal


It popped right off and I keep it in my desk drawer for pranks and for when I have to replace it once I get fired.

I'm not really sure what purpose the INSERT button serves other than to screw me up when typing. With these sausage fingers of mine, when I go for the DELETE key, I sometimes slip over and hit the INSERT key. When Word goes into typeover mode, I'm usually eight to ten letters in before I notice. I immediately forget when the hell I was typing so I have to go in and UNDO until I get back to where I was in the first place. It's best just to get rid of the INSERT key.

The moral to this story is that on Wednesday, I came back to my desk after a meeting and this is what my keyboard looked like:


Freckled Jenn had bought me a gag gift while she was traveling and wanted to drop it off. I was not at my desk when she stopped by and she left it in the little keyboard nest I had created earlier.

It is a perfect fit. What's great is that the bottom of the PORNO key is flat (it's got an adhesive back that I have not peeled off) so that it does not trigger the INSERT mechanism. I can leave it there until I get fired.

36 comments:

Anonymous said...

LOL, where did she find the porno key? Also, I agree with you on the fact that the insert key sucks.>:-(

Anonymous said...

HAHA! yeah where did she find it?

Anonymous said...

I forget where, but there is a free ware program you can use to disable keys you smack by accident. I used to use it to get rid of the semi colon (who uses that thing, anyway?) and the caps lock key.

* really want porno key *

Nikolas kilmartin said...

There are methods to control key functions.
For you programmers, i just figured this out, and will test it today.
Key's like caps lock target environment varialbes. By making an environment variable an http: protocol site, you should be able to assign a key a website(porno for example ^^)

Anonymous said...

hehe, nice, i will do the same ;]

michele said...

I hate that damn 'insert' button. Pisses me off! The 'end' button gets me once in a while too.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said: "I used to use it to get rid of the semi colon (who uses that thing, anyway?)"

Programmers.

Anonymous said...

ummmmmm, ctrl-ins / shift-ins so you can actually cut and paste in windows running a terminal app connected to any unix box.

knvb1123 said...

Hehe. That's why on the mac its the "help" button. In a way its a bit more annoying since your computer will lag at least just a tiny bit due to a new application starting... But I really don't get how you press the INSERT key so often. I never dealt with that.

Smail said...

You just need to get a job that doesn't require you to use Word. Get to work on finding a way to get paid for looking at porn.

Kermit said...

Both you and Jenn deserve accolades aplenty, one of you for doing somthing logical and sensible, the other of you for doing something whimsical and hilarious. I hope you get to switch roles next time. ;o)

Anonymous said...

i got the button in Omaha - best thing to come out of Omaha since their steak.

- freckled jenn

michele said...

Anonymous said: "I used to use it to get rid of the semi colon (who uses that thing, anyway?)"

OMG! you're kidding right?

Anonymous said...

You can use capsunlock (http://www.brainsystems.com/capsunlock) to disable insert and caps lock keys

Anonymous said...

hey, anyone who uses VI or VIM really needs the INSERT key, in order to insert test in the program!

Ray said...

Who uses ;, well programmers and those who use full English.

Aleksandar said...

Insert sucks, porno key is very needed :))

Anonymous said...

I'd be hollerin at Freckled Jenn if i was you.

Cummere gurl lemme holla acha... holla holla hollla

afreakinninja said...

Who uses the semicolon? People who speak and type proper English.

Anonymous said...

Why would anyone want to use the semicolon. I mean seriously, it's only an important bit of punctuation in the English language, not to mention the fact that it is the most commonly typed symbol in most programming languages.

Anonymous said...

iusuallygetridofallotherkeysexcepttheletterkeysbecausetheadditionalkeysslowmedownilikethepornkeytoo

Anonymous said...

If this post is any indication of how much your life is lacking, perhaps you should stop blogging and go and GET a life, 'cause this... this is fucking stupid. Waste of time, waste of bandwidth, and waste of server space. Wow... you remove your Insert key, that shit's enthralling!

Doug said...

My life is lacking? You read the whole thing, dumbass. You should have stopped at the third word.

I feel enthralled that I have wasted a teeny-tiny bit of your life.

Don't ever read me again, dipshit.

Anonymous said...

haha really funny, its too bad that this picture is photoshoped and NOBODY bought you a gag gift :). Get some friends.

Karl L. Gechlik said...

Thanks for the chuckle from the guys over @ AskTheAdmin.com. Don't you just hate them obnoxious diggers?

Happy Monday!

Anonymous said...

I hate it when people call their PC a CPU! The CPU is the processor inside the PC. Desktop/Tower is also acceptable. I hate the insert key too!

Doug said...

Damnit Anon.. you are right.

Anonymous said...

I use the semicolon! I can't believe you don't use the entirety of the English, and probably every other language with the same alphabet! You appall me!

Oh, and I seem to forget to use it in programming. Maybe that's why I didn't do well at javascript...

Anonymous said...

Why have a semicolon when you can just use a period.

Anonymous said...

Good old Macs... don't have that pesky insert key. We get a function key that is much more useful.

Anonymous said...

i also dnt like INSERT but tht YELLOW PORNO was amazing.
Need to see a keyboard with that useful Key !

Eddy said...

I looked all over but i couldn't find the "porno" button. The best i could find for sale was a group of colorful replacement buttons here: http://www.savvy-chick.net/love/fun-colorful-keyboard/
Hope it helps someone have fun!

Anonymous said...

Yeah, insert is definitely the most USELESS key in the keyboard.
Wonder what the hell was the person tihnking aobout..."if it works, dont fix it" my ass. Wonder hard would it be to make my ownd keyboard >:p

Anonymous said...

So, you look at the keyboard when you type? And you get payed to work on a computer? Pathetic.

Doug said...

Well, it also payeds to look at the screen for the spell checker or else you'll be payeding the piper.

Anonymous said...

I've got that exact keyboard! It rulz. Used to come with old HP servers.