It wasn't until after I gave $5 to the Andyman fund that it all became very real. I didn't know the guy at all, but it seems that many did or felt a strong connection to the man.
So if you get a chance... drop his family a buck or two. Go to http://www.cd101.com/andyman/ and click on the PayPal link under his photo.
I think some DJs of CD101 said it best... pretend like you are buying him a drink. The same drink he would have bought you, not expecting one back.
My Only Andyman Story
It seems like everyone has two or three stories about Andyman from CD101. He was everywhere Columbus and people gravitated towards his exuberantly friendly personality.
I only have one Andyman story.
A few months ago, my buddy Russ and I ended up at the My Morning Jacket concert. Towards the end of the show, I walked off to use the bathroom. The line was only a few dudes out the door and I saddled up. I could sense people lining up behind me and that became obvious when the guy behind me starts talking to the guy behind him. When I turned to look, I could tell it was Andyman. I had not seen any photos of him recently and I missed the part where he dropped 200 lbs. I said, "Hey, it's Andyman!" Without missing a beat, he proceeded to tell me a story as we all shuffled forward into the bathroom. He said that years and years ago, he was standing in line for a bathroom with one of his crazy buddies at a concert. His buddy couldn't wait any longer so he just started pissing in the bathroom all over the concrete floors and on dudes' shoes. All the time he was telling this story, he was laughing and his laughing caught me doing the same. The best part of this was that we were using urinals that were separated by three or four guys and he just yelled over the top of them to finish the story.
I assume that every hour of his life was like that. No, not the pissing on shoes part. The openness. The stories. The contagious laughter.
Here's a tribute video from one of his co-workers at CD101.
I only have one Andyman story.
A few months ago, my buddy Russ and I ended up at the My Morning Jacket concert. Towards the end of the show, I walked off to use the bathroom. The line was only a few dudes out the door and I saddled up. I could sense people lining up behind me and that became obvious when the guy behind me starts talking to the guy behind him. When I turned to look, I could tell it was Andyman. I had not seen any photos of him recently and I missed the part where he dropped 200 lbs. I said, "Hey, it's Andyman!" Without missing a beat, he proceeded to tell me a story as we all shuffled forward into the bathroom. He said that years and years ago, he was standing in line for a bathroom with one of his crazy buddies at a concert. His buddy couldn't wait any longer so he just started pissing in the bathroom all over the concrete floors and on dudes' shoes. All the time he was telling this story, he was laughing and his laughing caught me doing the same. The best part of this was that we were using urinals that were separated by three or four guys and he just yelled over the top of them to finish the story.
I assume that every hour of his life was like that. No, not the pissing on shoes part. The openness. The stories. The contagious laughter.
Here's a tribute video from one of his co-workers at CD101.
Andyman has Died
News spread quickly this eventing in Columbus that Andyman had passed away. Here is the news from the CD101 website:
"It is with much sadness that CD101 announces the passing of John Andrew “Andyman” Davis – programming director and beloved dee jay at CD101. Andy was vacationing with his family in Michigan and tragically drown on Saturday evening. Andy is survived by his wife, Molly, and their three sons Johnny, Oliver, and Sammy.
Andyman Davis started at CD101 in June of 1991 as on on-air personality and became CD101’s Programming Director in 1998. Andyman was the voice of CD101’s afternoon drive program and was voted Columbus’ favorite DJ on numerous occasions.
No further details regarding Andyman’s memorial services are available at this time but information will be announced as it is made available."
On Friday afternoon's, Andyman would do a bit called, "Taking Calls" where he would answer the phones and let people say whatever they wanted for a few seconds. At the end of the bit, he would play the Beer Song by Asylum Street Spankers. My kids sing the "beer, beer, beer, beer, we love beer" part.
You will be missed, Andyman, and never replaced.
John is a Good Friend
My friend John is getting married this weekend. I can only hope that at sometime in your life you get to have a friend as fiercely loyal and genuine as John. John is my friend for several reasons. I will only include the ones that will ensure that his wedding actually happens and that my divorce proceedings won’t:
John wasn’t too upset when I literally stole a girl out of his lap at a party in his house
John has driven when I could not
John has paid when I didn’t have the cash
John held my clothes when I went streaking
John stood by sober when I was a drunk idiot at Outland on SEVERAL occasions
John drove to visit me in Boston and slept in trash on my floor
John has never said no
John has never brought up the fact that I never gave him $200 for the Amiga 2000 computer I “bought” from him.
John lights up a room
John never complains
John will lend you his last dollar and take out a loan if you need another
John loves my kids
John doesn’t mind (too much) when you fall through his roof
John always has a place for you to sleep if you need to crash
John will pick you up at 4:00am from anywhere
John will not hold a grudge
John spent 12 days in Paris with me and we are both still alive
John agreed to pick me up at the Columbus airport and then drove over to Dayton to get me when I fucked my flights up
John bought me doughnuts and it saved me from a bad case of the herpes
John remembers my stories when I do not
John laughs at my jokes
John wants the best for everyone
John is there when you need him and he knows when it’s time to leave
John is a good friend
Good luck buddy and congratulations!
.JPG)
John wasn’t too upset when I literally stole a girl out of his lap at a party in his house
John has driven when I could not
John has paid when I didn’t have the cash
John held my clothes when I went streaking
John stood by sober when I was a drunk idiot at Outland on SEVERAL occasions
John drove to visit me in Boston and slept in trash on my floor
John has never said no
John has never brought up the fact that I never gave him $200 for the Amiga 2000 computer I “bought” from him.
John lights up a room
John never complains
John will lend you his last dollar and take out a loan if you need another
John loves my kids
John doesn’t mind (too much) when you fall through his roof
John always has a place for you to sleep if you need to crash
John will pick you up at 4:00am from anywhere
John will not hold a grudge
John spent 12 days in Paris with me and we are both still alive
John agreed to pick me up at the Columbus airport and then drove over to Dayton to get me when I fucked my flights up
John bought me doughnuts and it saved me from a bad case of the herpes
John remembers my stories when I do not
John laughs at my jokes
John wants the best for everyone
John is there when you need him and he knows when it’s time to leave
John is a good friend
Good luck buddy and congratulations!
.JPG)
Equipped with full breathing apparatus
With budget cuts, "full breathing apparatus" means "holding your breath."
Read the fat removal story HERE.
Read the fat removal story HERE.
Dinner Table Questions
As a youth, I was a curious lad and asked many questions. Usually they were asked as the family gathered around the dinner table so that everyone could hear. For years we had an expanding table in our kitchen that was extended during the holidays. After a time, that table got beat down by four kids and needed replaced. Dad, attempting to get his WoodCraft badge, built a table out of two by fours, butcher block style. I distinctly remember the unevenness of the top and how hard it was to clean off with all the crumbs falling in the cracks. I assume mom hated that table.
As the kids got older and moved away, the two by four table ended up in the garage and a smaller table took up residency. My younger sister and I were the last two left and we would spend our evenings, after work or practice, at the table eating reheated leftovers. In mid-meal, one of us would inevitably begin to eat with our hands and the Barbarian Food Eating Contest would begin to see who could eat the messiest and loudest. We were 19 and 16 at the time.
Getting back on track...
Back when I was seven, while at the table with the family around Christmas time, I asked what was behind the door in the basement. I knew what was behind the door in the basement because my brother and I had been down there that morning looking at the hidden Christmas presents. The door did not have a lock, so dad put a nail in the top of the door frame and bent it down as a make shift security device. Steve stood on a paint can and turned the nail. We looked through the bags of stuff and put them back exactly as we found them, thinking mom and dad actually remembered how precisely the packages were stacked. As we left, Steve said, "Don't say anything to anyone about this." After I told everyone about this, we were told NOT to go in the room and that those presents could be returned. The next day when I went down the nail was not in the lock position and the room was empty. For the next week I feared the gifts had been returned. Christmas morning we learned that they had actually been re-hidden.
Years later I heard our teen babysitter Darla tell my brother a joke about 100 nuns and gasping and tittering. I didn't get the joke. One of the words didn't make sense in the context it was being used. I knew what the word was, but it didn't seem to fit. When I asked them, they said I wouldn't get it. At the full dinner table I got to ask, "What's a rubber?" I then got to tell them where I heard the word and Darla got to hear my mom and dad express their disappointment. Steve explained to me how to keep my mouth shut with a series of punches to the arm.
At our dinner table at home, I wait patiently for those questions to emerge. So far, Greg has only dared to talk about bodily functions and body parts, but I assume that one evening he will blow us away with a ringer.
The joke? It's still a good one:
Head Sister Maria called all 100 nuns in the convent together for a meeting.
"We have learned that a MAN broke into the convent last night."
99 nuns gasped and 1 nun tittered.
"And he left behind a rubber."
99 nuns gasped and 1 nun tittered.
"And the rubber was USED!"
99 nuns gasped and 1 nun tittered.
"And the rubber had a hole in it."
1 nun gasped and 99 nuns tittered.
As the kids got older and moved away, the two by four table ended up in the garage and a smaller table took up residency. My younger sister and I were the last two left and we would spend our evenings, after work or practice, at the table eating reheated leftovers. In mid-meal, one of us would inevitably begin to eat with our hands and the Barbarian Food Eating Contest would begin to see who could eat the messiest and loudest. We were 19 and 16 at the time.
Getting back on track...
Back when I was seven, while at the table with the family around Christmas time, I asked what was behind the door in the basement. I knew what was behind the door in the basement because my brother and I had been down there that morning looking at the hidden Christmas presents. The door did not have a lock, so dad put a nail in the top of the door frame and bent it down as a make shift security device. Steve stood on a paint can and turned the nail. We looked through the bags of stuff and put them back exactly as we found them, thinking mom and dad actually remembered how precisely the packages were stacked. As we left, Steve said, "Don't say anything to anyone about this." After I told everyone about this, we were told NOT to go in the room and that those presents could be returned. The next day when I went down the nail was not in the lock position and the room was empty. For the next week I feared the gifts had been returned. Christmas morning we learned that they had actually been re-hidden.
Years later I heard our teen babysitter Darla tell my brother a joke about 100 nuns and gasping and tittering. I didn't get the joke. One of the words didn't make sense in the context it was being used. I knew what the word was, but it didn't seem to fit. When I asked them, they said I wouldn't get it. At the full dinner table I got to ask, "What's a rubber?" I then got to tell them where I heard the word and Darla got to hear my mom and dad express their disappointment. Steve explained to me how to keep my mouth shut with a series of punches to the arm.
At our dinner table at home, I wait patiently for those questions to emerge. So far, Greg has only dared to talk about bodily functions and body parts, but I assume that one evening he will blow us away with a ringer.
The joke? It's still a good one:
Head Sister Maria called all 100 nuns in the convent together for a meeting.
"We have learned that a MAN broke into the convent last night."
99 nuns gasped and 1 nun tittered.
"And he left behind a rubber."
99 nuns gasped and 1 nun tittered.
"And the rubber was USED!"
99 nuns gasped and 1 nun tittered.
"And the rubber had a hole in it."
1 nun gasped and 99 nuns tittered.
Dirty Little Boy
My family tries to get together every 4th of July. I love seeing my kids interact with all their cousins and transmit all the Ohio germs to Missouri and North Carolina.
While the adults sit around at night, tales of our youth always seem to pop up. This year was no different. We talked about the bus this year.
As kids, we rode the bus to school. We were the first stop of the day on a ride that took an hour. My teachers thought I had horrible hand writing, but actually I was just doing my homework on the bus. The back roads we took were very bumpy and we would sit in the back and time the bumps so that we could get maximum height on the bounces. I remember seeing one kid bounce over the top of the seat and land head-first on the seat in front of him. To make things worse, on the ride home we were not the first ones dropped off as the bus re-traced its route backwards. We were dropped off at the halfway point of the route so I spent about 90 minutes a day on the bus.
The bus stop was about 100 yards from our house off a major highway. On the mornings when we got there early, we'd stand about 10 feet away from traffic traveling 60mph. When trucks would pass we would dare to stand as close as possible to the road to get pushed around by the wash of air. But most days we were late. I'd be putting on my first sock when you would hear someone yell, "BUS!" In a flurry, we all grab 75% of the stuff we were supposed to take to school and head out the door. As I exited the house, I could see the person who yelled now getting on the bus with someone sprinting half way down the road and me trailing behind thinking about how I was going to eat with my lunch money sitting on the counter. With the bus stopped, traffic would begin in build on either side of the road, held back by the bus' red flashing lights. Sometimes it would take all of us three minutes to run to the stop. I assume people changed their drive schedules to avoid our stop.
At the bus stop there was plenty to do. There was always trash that people had thrown out of their cars. Sometimes there would be fast food bags half filled with food and half filled with ants. There was always a dead animal and then usually the things that eat dead animals. When the trash on our side of the road was thin, sometimes one of the daring youth would sprint across the road and see what was in the ditch on the other side. Once we found a gumball machine with the money gone and the gumballs wet and ruined on the inside of the broken glass top. Sometimes there was a Playboy or Hustler in a state of sogginess, hopefully from the rain. The pages would be all stuck together, but careful peeling would reveal bits of pink.
The last option for entertainment was the stop sign. We would climb it and swing from the pole. If I ran around it fast enough with one hand holding on, I could actually make a complete flying circle with my feet not touching the ground.
Then one day my parents got a letter from school. It said that then needed to ensure that I was properly cleaned up when I left the house to be prepared for school. They were mortified and ensured that I was presentable upon leaving the house to catch the bus. Cleanliness was ensured, but they got a phone call a few days later. While what was actually said is up to debate between my parents, the phrase that everyone agrees on was that I was a "dirty little boy." My parents were baffled. They were sending me out the door clean, so I must be getting dirty on the way to school. Some brief interviews with my brother and sister and well as a trip to the bus stop showed the culprit. The stop sign pole was covered in black grease. I'd be sent out the door clean, make a few laps on the pole and my hands and face would be nicely covered. So my parents banned me from the pole.
I rode the bus through the first half of my senior year until Russ got a car and drove me to school. Before Russ had a car, I would sneak in though the high school kitchen so that the my classmates would not see my bus riding shame. By that time, the city school busing department got smart and the bus would actually turn down my road and pick us up in front of our house. This way the bus would give us a five minute warning as it roared past our house and then turned around to pick us up. Even with that five minutes we were still usually running our the door with the driver leaning on the horn.
Here is my tribute to all my bus drivers: Thank you for not beating us when were were late or loud or obnoxious. Thanks for finding the stuff we left behind and knowing exactly what child the crap belonged to. Thanks for not telling our parents and thanks for not making assigned seats. And thanks for giving us a warning look first in that big overhead mirror.
Thanks to:
Mrs. Bibby (Retired after 30 years service. Her last two were with me.)
Mr. Sigler (Paralyzed in a car accident.)
Miss. Budd (She had beehive hair. The bus smelled like cigarettes with her.)
Mrs. Norris (Who was actually just Miss Budd, but married.)
While the adults sit around at night, tales of our youth always seem to pop up. This year was no different. We talked about the bus this year.
As kids, we rode the bus to school. We were the first stop of the day on a ride that took an hour. My teachers thought I had horrible hand writing, but actually I was just doing my homework on the bus. The back roads we took were very bumpy and we would sit in the back and time the bumps so that we could get maximum height on the bounces. I remember seeing one kid bounce over the top of the seat and land head-first on the seat in front of him. To make things worse, on the ride home we were not the first ones dropped off as the bus re-traced its route backwards. We were dropped off at the halfway point of the route so I spent about 90 minutes a day on the bus.
The bus stop was about 100 yards from our house off a major highway. On the mornings when we got there early, we'd stand about 10 feet away from traffic traveling 60mph. When trucks would pass we would dare to stand as close as possible to the road to get pushed around by the wash of air. But most days we were late. I'd be putting on my first sock when you would hear someone yell, "BUS!" In a flurry, we all grab 75% of the stuff we were supposed to take to school and head out the door. As I exited the house, I could see the person who yelled now getting on the bus with someone sprinting half way down the road and me trailing behind thinking about how I was going to eat with my lunch money sitting on the counter. With the bus stopped, traffic would begin in build on either side of the road, held back by the bus' red flashing lights. Sometimes it would take all of us three minutes to run to the stop. I assume people changed their drive schedules to avoid our stop.
At the bus stop there was plenty to do. There was always trash that people had thrown out of their cars. Sometimes there would be fast food bags half filled with food and half filled with ants. There was always a dead animal and then usually the things that eat dead animals. When the trash on our side of the road was thin, sometimes one of the daring youth would sprint across the road and see what was in the ditch on the other side. Once we found a gumball machine with the money gone and the gumballs wet and ruined on the inside of the broken glass top. Sometimes there was a Playboy or Hustler in a state of sogginess, hopefully from the rain. The pages would be all stuck together, but careful peeling would reveal bits of pink.
The last option for entertainment was the stop sign. We would climb it and swing from the pole. If I ran around it fast enough with one hand holding on, I could actually make a complete flying circle with my feet not touching the ground.
Then one day my parents got a letter from school. It said that then needed to ensure that I was properly cleaned up when I left the house to be prepared for school. They were mortified and ensured that I was presentable upon leaving the house to catch the bus. Cleanliness was ensured, but they got a phone call a few days later. While what was actually said is up to debate between my parents, the phrase that everyone agrees on was that I was a "dirty little boy." My parents were baffled. They were sending me out the door clean, so I must be getting dirty on the way to school. Some brief interviews with my brother and sister and well as a trip to the bus stop showed the culprit. The stop sign pole was covered in black grease. I'd be sent out the door clean, make a few laps on the pole and my hands and face would be nicely covered. So my parents banned me from the pole.
I rode the bus through the first half of my senior year until Russ got a car and drove me to school. Before Russ had a car, I would sneak in though the high school kitchen so that the my classmates would not see my bus riding shame. By that time, the city school busing department got smart and the bus would actually turn down my road and pick us up in front of our house. This way the bus would give us a five minute warning as it roared past our house and then turned around to pick us up. Even with that five minutes we were still usually running our the door with the driver leaning on the horn.
Here is my tribute to all my bus drivers: Thank you for not beating us when were were late or loud or obnoxious. Thanks for finding the stuff we left behind and knowing exactly what child the crap belonged to. Thanks for not telling our parents and thanks for not making assigned seats. And thanks for giving us a warning look first in that big overhead mirror.
Thanks to:
Mrs. Bibby (Retired after 30 years service. Her last two were with me.)
Mr. Sigler (Paralyzed in a car accident.)
Miss. Budd (She had beehive hair. The bus smelled like cigarettes with her.)
Mrs. Norris (Who was actually just Miss Budd, but married.)
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