Holy crap! That 35 dollars worth of Arby's coupons I sent to Google worked!
Thanks for visiting and check out the "YOU HAVE GOT TO READ THESE STORIES" over there on the right.
We have a winner!
Thank you to everyone who participated in the "Bag Not Really Full of Money" guessing game. Our winner is WNA who hails from NC and he correctly guessed $16.91.
Next contest: guess how much my vasectomy cost. (And no, it wasn't by the inch.)
Next contest: guess how much my vasectomy cost. (And no, it wasn't by the inch.)
Bag o' Money: Part Two
A few months ago I posted a photo of a bag of money and suggested you all take a shot at guessing the amount of money in it.
Oh, here it is: http://www.holyjuan.com/2009/07/money-bag.html
Here is the unguessed bag, still waiting:
Leave your guess with an e-mail address.
Here is the clue from the previous post: more than 0.01 and less than 50.00.
Here is a second clue: the amount of money is an rotationally symmetric ambigram.
Person who guesses the correct amount wins it!
Good luck.
(If no one gets it by next Thursday, I'll post a new clue.)
Person who guesses the correct amount wins it!
Good luck.
(If no one gets it by next Thursday, I'll post a new clue.)
HoleyBoard Rules (Columbus Version 1.5)
I just got an invite from Mike to his 11th annual HoleyBoard tournament. Thought this might be a good time to post the Columbus Rules (Version 1.5)
HOLEYBOARD RULES
(Columbus Version 1.5)
HoleyBoard is a game of skill and luck and will test your debating abilities when arguments about the rules inevitability flare up. I hope that the number of incidents will be lowered by writing these rules down. Rules vary by region and you need to ensure all parties are playing by the same rules before the game begins.
Object of the Game
Two persons or two, two person teams can play HoleyBoard at one time. The object of HoleyBoard is to score exactly 21 points before your opponent does.
Set-up
The HoleyBoards should be measured approximately eight feet apart or two board lengths. Competitors throw from the same side and alternate sides between rounds. During a doubles match, teammates spilt up to either side and do not switch sides between rounds. Standing on top of one HoleyBoard, each competitor has three washers that he/she pitches, one at a time, into the holes of the other HoleyBoard. The first Player up throws all three of their washers before the second Player throws their washers. The Player or Team that scores last or causes a washer to go in, goes first the next round.
Example: Player A throws first and lands a washer on the board that does not go in. Player B throws second. During her turn, Player B knocks Player A’s washer in, Player A receives the points, but Player B has to throw first the next round.
Scoring Points
Points are scored when a washer goes in and stays in a hole. Each hole has a point value: the first hole closest to the person pitching the washers is worth 1 point, the second/middle hole is worth 3, and the third hole is worth 5 points. Players score points when they throw their washer in, hits their own washer already on the board in, or when an opponent knocks one of their washers in.
Example: Player A pitches all three washers and all three land on the board without going in. Player B pitches his washers and knocks in one of Player A’s washers into the 3 hole. Player A scores 3 points.
Competitors can cancel each other out, but only during the same turn and in the same hole.
Example: If Player A pitches a 5, then Player B can cancel those points by also pitching a 5. A 5 cannot be cancelled by throwing a 3 and two 1’s. If Player B would hit a 3 and two 1’s, then the score would be 5 – 5.
Players can score points on top of a canceling throw.
Example: Player A throws two 5s. Player B throws three 5s. Player A would score 0 points. Player B would score 5 points.
Winning the Game
A Player must score exactly 21 points to win and they must win on their own third throw by either getting exactly 21 with the third throw or by Sticking the Victory with the third washer. A Player can only win with their own third throw. An opponent cannot knock an opposing Player’s washer in for a win.
When a Player has successfully scored exactly 21 points and still has one or two washer left, they must, if necessary, throw off the second washer and the last washer he/she pitches has to stick and stay on top of the board without falling off or landing in a hole (this is otherwise known as STICKING THE VICTORY or Sticking the Vic). If the Player is unsuccessful in their attempt, then they go back to the score they had at the beginning of the round.
A competitor can win without sticking the Vic if he/she reaches 21 on the last throw or causes another of their own washers to fall in giving the thrower exactly 21.
Example: Player B goes second and has 18 points On the second throw he/she leaves the washer very close to the 3 point hole. With the third throw, the third washer knocks the second washer in the 3 point hole and then the third washer goes flying off the board. Player B has 21 and wins the game because the third washer caused the win.
A competitor cannot win if an opponent causes them to have exactly 21 points. A player who is given 21 points (either by knocking points in or by being cancelled backwards to 21 points) will have their score returned to what it was at the beginning of the round.
Example: Player A goes first with 18 points. Player A lands his first washer near the 3 point hole and misses his/her last two throws. Player B knocks Player A’s washer in the 3 point hole. Player A does not get the three points and would go back to 18 points.
Voiding a Win
A player can void an opponent’s win in one of thee ways: canceling points, knocking in opponent’s washers causing them to go over or by knocking their Stick the Vic off the board.
Skunking your Opponent for the Win
11- 0 is a skunk. The Player must win the normal way by scoring exactly 11 on the third throw or by Sticking the Vic.
Example: Player A has 11 and sticks last washer. Player B misses all three throws and Player A wins the game.
Example: Player A has 11 but does not stick the last washer; he/she still has 11 and must play to 21.
Example: If Player A does not stick last washer but Player B cancels the 1, then Player A has 10 and still has a chance to skunk.
A skunk is over as soon as the opponent scores any points by the end of the round.
Example: Player A throws a five and two threes during the first round for a possible skunk. Player B throws a one and avoids the skunk. The score is now 11-1.
Can There Be a Tie?
There are no ties. A Player must cancel the opponent’s win first before attempting their own win. If Player A scores 21 on third throw or Sticks the Vic, Player B must terminate the win by canceling Players A’s points or by knocking off the Stick the Vic washer before attempting to go for their own win.
Example: Player A has 18 points; he throws in three ones for the possible win. Player B has 15 points and throws a 1; canceling A’s victory and follows it up with two 3’s for the win.
Going Over Twenty-One
The goal of HoleyBoard is to score EXACTLY 21. Inevitably, someone will score more than 21 points. If a Player does go over 21, their score is determined by taking the total number of points scored that round and subtracting that from their score at the beginning of the round.
Example: Player A has 15 points. Player A throws two 3’s and accidentally throws a 1 for a total of 7 points. Player A’s score starting score (15) would be reduced by the total points scored that round (7) giving them their new score (15-7=8.)
If Player B were to then cancel out any of Player A’s points and reduce the score of Player A below 21 then Player A receives the new, under 21 score. If Player B cancels out points and leaves Player A with exactly 21, then Player A’s score will return to the points they had at the beginning of the round. (Note: the opponent cannot win for you. You must go out on the third throw or Stick the Vic on your own turn to win.)
Example: Player A has 15 points. Player A throws two 3’s and accidentally throws a 1. Player B throws a 3 and cancels Player A’s 3. Player A’s score would be 19 (15 + 4 =19.)
Example: Player A has 15 points. Player A throws two 3’s and accidentally throws a 1. Player B throws a 1 and cancels Player A’s 1. Player A would go back to his original score from that round (15), as if he had attempted to win and missed.
If a Player goes over with the first washer, each throw after that continues to push their score backwards. In other words, once a Player goes over 21 they cannot score positive points on that same turn.
Example: Player A has 20 and hits a 5, he/she will drop to 15. He/she continues to throw on that same turn and hits another 5, knocking them back five more points to 10.
OTHER RULES
A player cannot go below 0 points.
Washers must be thrown one at a time. You may not throw two or three washers at the same time.
Remember: There is no score until all washers are thrown. Once all washers are thrown by both players, the score for that round can be tallied.
No overhand throws.
Players can stand anywhere on the board in any stance, but can not leave board surface (i.e. jumping towards other board.)
Any throw that hits the floor outside of the board first and bounces on the board does not count and should be removed from the hole or playing surface. Any action caused by an outside bounced washer should be reset to its original position.
Any throw that goes in a hole and bounces out does not count for points, but any action it caused does count. The in-hole bounced washer can be knocked back in the hole for a score. An in-hole bounced washer can also count as a Stick the Vic.
It is a very good idea to mark both sets of washers with identifying marks before playing. Both sets should be marked with the same medium to ensure an even match. (i.e. both marked with Sharpie or both painted with same type, but different color of paint.)
This is a gentleperson’s game and any washer accidentally dropped is allowed to be picked up and thrown. Any miss-throw (i.e. any washer toss while arm is in motion) does count. Tough luck.
Vocabulary Time!
THROWING OFF is when a Player intentionally throws one, two, or all three washers to the ground as to not score any points or to set themselves up for a final throw win. If you have 20 points and only need a one to win, you can THROW OFF the first two washers and aim the third for the one hole, avoiding the need for Sticking the Vic. You can also THROW OFF in strategic situations to avoid canceling an opponent’s points if they have gone over 21 or to avoid knocking in an opponent’s washer that is about fall in a hole that might give them points.
A FIRST ROUND SKUNK happens when a Player gets an 11-0 score in the first round without it being cancelled by the other Player. This is a very desirable win cause for great celebration.
Banzi slide is small or GREG IS HUGE
Greg had a great day at baseball, winning the coveted game ball. Afterwards we went to Toy R Us so that he could use his money to buy some Gogo Crazy Bones. While there, Miss Sally asked us to get a Slip-n-Slide.
Instead of going with a well known, brand name, I went with the Banzi 16' Soak N Splash with Body Board (sale price $6.99.)
I knew this was a good buy because the kids on the front of the box were having an awesome time.
At home in the backyard, something was amiss. I unfolded the slide and immediatley found that the end with the water collection splash enabler was much smaller than expected. The box showed a kid sliding into a small baby pool sized basin. This was much smaller.
Here is the slide in action with the box for reference. This was take number 122 to get the photo just right.
Greg is HUGE!
You can see the Greg's hand reaches all the way to the back when his shoulders are at the edge of the pool area. A total misrepresentation. That's something I would expect when paying $4.99 but NOT $6.99!
I wanted to see if it was possible to get the shot on the box, so I got down very low and got the box angle.
I then added Greg.
Out of Focus Virtual Greg looks like he is having an awesome time.
Instead of going with a well known, brand name, I went with the Banzi 16' Soak N Splash with Body Board (sale price $6.99.)
I knew this was a good buy because the kids on the front of the box were having an awesome time.
At home in the backyard, something was amiss. I unfolded the slide and immediatley found that the end with the water collection splash enabler was much smaller than expected. The box showed a kid sliding into a small baby pool sized basin. This was much smaller.
Here is the slide in action with the box for reference. This was take number 122 to get the photo just right.
Greg is HUGE!
You can see the Greg's hand reaches all the way to the back when his shoulders are at the edge of the pool area. A total misrepresentation. That's something I would expect when paying $4.99 but NOT $6.99!
I wanted to see if it was possible to get the shot on the box, so I got down very low and got the box angle.
I then added Greg.
Out of Focus Virtual Greg looks like he is having an awesome time.
Subway's 1st Grade Assignment
My son, Greg, brought home his visualization assignment from 1st grade. He did pretty good:
Accidentally stuck to his assignment was his classmate Subway's assignment:
Now I understand.
Accidentally stuck to his assignment was his classmate Subway's assignment:
Now I understand.
Towel Day is May 25th
Help to honor the life of Douglas Adams by celebrating Towel Day.
Here are some things you can do with your towel:
carry small stuff
drag bigger stuff
drape it over stuff too big to drag
don it
wrap it around your head
hide contraband
detain people with contraband
hide your shame
shame your hide
table cloth
somewhere to put sand when you are at the beach
emergency coffee filter
flag
gag
rag
makeshift bra
loin cloth
makeshift bra and loin cloth combo
sling
hands-on science museum speed of sound demonstration
And if you run out of ideas, you can use it to lay on in a field at night, stare up at the stars and thank Douglas Adams for making the Universe a much better place to be insignificant in.
Please feel free to add your own towel ideas in the comments.
Super Desserts
Love this: Funeral
Super Desserts - Funeral from Ohio Sessions on Vimeo.
What are you still doing here? Go listen to more of their stuff! http://superdesserts.bandcamp.com/album/banjo-forever.
Get on it before they decide to break up and build a barn.
Silky
I'm not sure you remember this, but at one time in your life, you were a virgin. And then all of a sudden, you weren't. For girls, I assume it was traumatic and disappointing. Quick and forgettable. Maybe it was painful or is some rare cases, flowery and orgasmic. For guys, it's all exactly the same experience.
For a number of years, I traveled with a science museum exhibit. I was in Syracuse for four months and I met Mike. Mike was the first guy I met on the road that was about my age and had his shit together. He showed me the town and we had an occasional drink occasionally.
Conversation usually turned to girls. And sex.
Mike said that there is only one way to describe how it feels when a boy puts his pee pee inside a girl. Especially that first time. He said it and it didn't sound dirty and it didn't sound bad. It sounded just like I remember it.
Silky.
We laughed because it was true. Later on, we'd be in the middle of a conversation and someone would say, "silky." Normally you would stretch it out: sillllky. It was great to drop it into conversation when there were three or four people in the room. We'd always laugh and then we'd pause because in our minds we would go back to that time. Silky.
My stay was too short and soon I was packing up to leave. Without my knowledge, Mike took a piece of packing tape and slapped it on the side of my traveling filing cabinet. On it he wrote, "Silky." As we were loading the trucks I saw the tape and laughed out loud. I'm sure, because it feels so good to say it, I said out loud, "Silky." And then I paused to think.
Months later my time as exhibit manager was up and I handed the exhibit over to Dave. I trained him for a few days and left the exhibit for the last time.
Dave would call from time to time with questions. One day his question was why the word "silky" was written on the side of the filing cabinet. Telling him was hilarious.
Tonight as I was chatting with Dave via IM, I asked him what story I should write about.
"Silky."
And now I stop and pause to think...
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