Do you like King-Fu movies? Sure, we all do!
Write your own script here at http://www.onlyknives.com/diy-kung-fu-movie-script/. It's kinda like MadLibs and a little like guy-with-a-knife-site-randomly-sends-you-a-link. Both which are cool.
Ohio Court Pays $2,500 a Day for Black Man to have White Man Make-up
LANCASTER OH (HJ) – Trevor R. Smoot, 38, was picked up for attempted burglary on October 21st. Before his appearance at the Fairfield County Courthouse, his defense attorney demanded that Smoot be given an opportunity for a completely fair trial in front of an all white jury. To this end, the lawyer requested that Smoot, a black man, be allowed to wear make-up that made him look like a white man. The court reluctantly agreed, but found itself in a bit of a legal loophole that requires the court to pay for any necessary accommodations for “mei capilli sunt flagrantes” or fair trial without cost.
Recently, Florida murder suspect and neo-Nazi John Ditullio found himself in a similar situation. Every day before court, he spent the hour before his trial in a $125 makeup session, paid for courtesy of the state. His make-up was to cover up Nazi tattoos on his face and neck. Smoot’s lawyer sought the same type of make-up to protect his client from the possible racism of an all-white jury.
At a cost of $2,500 per day, a special trailer has been brought in that houses his make-up artist and the special tools needed to turn Mr. Smoot into a white man. Del Donkins, special effects and make-up artist has worked on such films as “Mrs. Doubtfire 2” and “Shaving Ryan’s Privates.” Mr. Smoot arrived on the first day of trial at 4:30am to begin his make-up session. In about four hours the transformation was complete. To the unknowing jury, he would look just like an every day, ordinary white man.
In the courtroom, as the prosecutor began to present his case, there was a rumbling amongst the jury. Judge Frank Masterson called for order and the foreman was brought to the bench. A few minutes later the foreman returned to the jury box and announced that the jury could never find such an innocent looking man guilty and asked that all charges be dropped. The judge had no other recourse but to drop the charges.
Here is Mr. Smoot’s reaction to the jury’s decision.
Recently, Florida murder suspect and neo-Nazi John Ditullio found himself in a similar situation. Every day before court, he spent the hour before his trial in a $125 makeup session, paid for courtesy of the state. His make-up was to cover up Nazi tattoos on his face and neck. Smoot’s lawyer sought the same type of make-up to protect his client from the possible racism of an all-white jury.
At a cost of $2,500 per day, a special trailer has been brought in that houses his make-up artist and the special tools needed to turn Mr. Smoot into a white man. Del Donkins, special effects and make-up artist has worked on such films as “Mrs. Doubtfire 2” and “Shaving Ryan’s Privates.” Mr. Smoot arrived on the first day of trial at 4:30am to begin his make-up session. In about four hours the transformation was complete. To the unknowing jury, he would look just like an every day, ordinary white man.
In the courtroom, as the prosecutor began to present his case, there was a rumbling amongst the jury. Judge Frank Masterson called for order and the foreman was brought to the bench. A few minutes later the foreman returned to the jury box and announced that the jury could never find such an innocent looking man guilty and asked that all charges be dropped. The judge had no other recourse but to drop the charges.
Here is Mr. Smoot’s reaction to the jury’s decision.
What else can you trim?
My favorite beauty medicine doctor had another great (horrific) ad in the local free paper:
I thought that perhaps there could be something trimmed around the holidays besides the tree, so I fixed the ad for her:
Honed for the holidays!
But now I'm kinda grossed out by what the white specks could be.
I thought that perhaps there could be something trimmed around the holidays besides the tree, so I fixed the ad for her:
Honed for the holidays!
But now I'm kinda grossed out by what the white specks could be.
Thanks for the Discount
Dave, his two brothers and I went in together to give money to a charity. I paid on my credit card and all but one of those jerks has paid up. Here is a close up of the check for $37.50 that Dave sent me.
Poor Guy Was Just Looking For An Opinion
Well, at least he didn't have to go too far for his booking.
Cody Fucked Up
A girl at work receives the Despair Inc catalog at work. They've got some fun products.
She showed me the back of the catalog today. Big address sticker at the top covering a photo and the usual address area at the bottom had text in it.
Looks like Cody fucked up.
She showed me the back of the catalog today. Big address sticker at the top covering a photo and the usual address area at the bottom had text in it.
Looks like Cody fucked up.
Greg Learned How to Write
You might remember my "Stay Out Daddy" post where I tricked Greg into turning his requested door sign into something else.
Well, Greg has learned to spell. Here is his newest sign:
And a scan...
The gist of the sign is that you have to pay to get into his room. There are varied charges based on some level of Evil scale which I still have not figured out.
Smart kid.
Well, Greg has learned to spell. Here is his newest sign:
And a scan...
The gist of the sign is that you have to pay to get into his room. There are varied charges based on some level of Evil scale which I still have not figured out.
Smart kid.
My Beef with Van de Kamp's Fish
We bought this box of 10 Van de Kamp's Crispy Fish Fillets.
What's nice about this package of frozen fish parts is that they come individually wrapped in pairs so that you do not throw 2/5th of the box back in the freezer and have to deal with freezer burn and malicious odors.
Except they do not come in pairs. All the frozen fish corpses were stuck in the same plastic bag with no high tech way of sealing back up. The package clearly shows a pair in a bag. I assumed there would be five bags of two.
So I cooked the whole fucking box.
And I almost fell prey to the oldest cooking instructions trick in the book...
Remember to always read all the instructions before cooking. I usually go step by step which would be to bake uncovered for 28 - 30 minutes. Then I would see the "flip" instruction. These instructions should read "Cook 14 minutes. Turn. Cook for 14 - 20 more minutes, dumbass."
What's nice about this package of frozen fish parts is that they come individually wrapped in pairs so that you do not throw 2/5th of the box back in the freezer and have to deal with freezer burn and malicious odors.
Except they do not come in pairs. All the frozen fish corpses were stuck in the same plastic bag with no high tech way of sealing back up. The package clearly shows a pair in a bag. I assumed there would be five bags of two.
So I cooked the whole fucking box.
And I almost fell prey to the oldest cooking instructions trick in the book...
Remember to always read all the instructions before cooking. I usually go step by step which would be to bake uncovered for 28 - 30 minutes. Then I would see the "flip" instruction. These instructions should read "Cook 14 minutes. Turn. Cook for 14 - 20 more minutes, dumbass."
This Is My Suitcase’s “The Keys To Cat Heaven”
Once again I find myself reviewing music when I have no cognitive capacitance to do such things. Here I go:
I downloaded This Is My Suitcase’s “The Keys To Cat Heaven” and it pretty much rocks. I love this stuff. It is an extremely light album with no heavy bullshit. Interesting lyrics. Musically complex with simplistic instruments.
I’m sure they will kick my ass when I suggest that their music stylings are like bit like an angsty Tiny Tim meets a pre-pubescent Margot and the Nuclear So and So’s with a cat on a Möbius strip leash. Of course, I’ve seen the lead singer at a few shows and he isn’t going to kick anyone’s ass though the guitarist is a big dude and might pummel the likes of me for kicks.
All I know is that when I listen to the album it makes me happy. Dead fish and all.
Check ‘um out at http://www.myspace.com/thisismysuitcase
Buy an album here
@suitcaseband
Facebook
I downloaded This Is My Suitcase’s “The Keys To Cat Heaven” and it pretty much rocks. I love this stuff. It is an extremely light album with no heavy bullshit. Interesting lyrics. Musically complex with simplistic instruments.
I’m sure they will kick my ass when I suggest that their music stylings are like bit like an angsty Tiny Tim meets a pre-pubescent Margot and the Nuclear So and So’s with a cat on a Möbius strip leash. Of course, I’ve seen the lead singer at a few shows and he isn’t going to kick anyone’s ass though the guitarist is a big dude and might pummel the likes of me for kicks.
All I know is that when I listen to the album it makes me happy. Dead fish and all.
Check ‘um out at http://www.myspace.com/thisismysuitcase
Buy an album here
@suitcaseband
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