My Boss is Smarter than Me
I filled out a vacation form at work and turned it into my boss. He was well aware of my intentions to go out tonight and edited the form accordingly.
HolyJuan's How To: Make coffee at work
We have free coffee at work. While I appreciate the sentiment, the instant coffee concentrate mixed with tepid water doesn't quite cut it. Luckily, Erik told me about a simple plastic device that will brew a single cup of coffee without the need for a large machine that would probably start a fire when I forget to turn it off.
Here's what you will need:
-individual coffee filter holder plastic funnel thingy
-no. 2 coffee filter (unbleached)
-coffee
-coffee cup (huge size)
-cold water and a time machine or hot water
-level
-Tupperware container
Insert filter into filter holder. It will never exactly conform to the holder so just live with it.
Fill filter with coffee. Use the amount as instructed on the side of the can:
Then add three times that amount:
I like a huge cup of coffee and as you can see the filter holder is too small to fit over the rim of the cup.
I'm noticing that the cup is dirty from my previous cup of coffee I drank last week. Let me take that to the photoshop sink and wash it out:
Take the level and put it over the huge cup. Because the level is unlevel, you'll need to set the opposite end on the empty Tupperware container.
Set your filter, filled with coffee grounds, on the level over the huge coffee cup:
Go back in time four minutes and boil a large cup of water in the microwave for four minutes. Ensure you use Styrofoam to boil your water as the fluorocarbons give the coffee a nice cancery flavor.
Pour the hot water into the filter and make sure it goes though the hole in the level and into the cup. Now is about the time you find out if your level has a hole in it or not.
Mine has a hole in it and the cup below is filling up:
Oh shit! GO back in time again and make sure your cup is big enough to hold all the hot water you just dumped in the filter holder. *BZAP* I'm back and my cup is big enough. You might not be able to dump all the hot water in the filter at once so be patient and watch how the hot water and coffee grounds interact. What images to you see in the grounds? A wave? A woman's face? THE DEVIL?
Relax...Enjoy!
Here's what you will need:
-individual coffee filter holder plastic funnel thingy
-no. 2 coffee filter (unbleached)
-coffee
-coffee cup (huge size)
-cold water and a time machine or hot water
-level
-Tupperware container
Insert filter into filter holder. It will never exactly conform to the holder so just live with it.
Fill filter with coffee. Use the amount as instructed on the side of the can:
Then add three times that amount:
I like a huge cup of coffee and as you can see the filter holder is too small to fit over the rim of the cup.
I'm noticing that the cup is dirty from my previous cup of coffee I drank last week. Let me take that to the photoshop sink and wash it out:
Take the level and put it over the huge cup. Because the level is unlevel, you'll need to set the opposite end on the empty Tupperware container.
Set your filter, filled with coffee grounds, on the level over the huge coffee cup:
Go back in time four minutes and boil a large cup of water in the microwave for four minutes. Ensure you use Styrofoam to boil your water as the fluorocarbons give the coffee a nice cancery flavor.
Pour the hot water into the filter and make sure it goes though the hole in the level and into the cup. Now is about the time you find out if your level has a hole in it or not.
Mine has a hole in it and the cup below is filling up:
Oh shit! GO back in time again and make sure your cup is big enough to hold all the hot water you just dumped in the filter holder. *BZAP* I'm back and my cup is big enough. You might not be able to dump all the hot water in the filter at once so be patient and watch how the hot water and coffee grounds interact. What images to you see in the grounds? A wave? A woman's face? THE DEVIL?
Relax...Enjoy!
Funny comments from my Jesus Fish article
Awhile back ago, I wrote about Avoiding the Jesus Fish. My personal opinion is that people who advertise with a Jesus Fish are two bit scammers, working on the hearts, rather than the minds of consumers. Maybe a good advertising ploy, but I assume Jesus would frown upon it.
It’s an old article, but some poor woman happened upon it and found the need to comment. I found the need to argue with her using made up facts and lies. She took the bait and our conversation is as follows:
Anonymous said...
I'm not sure why the attack on plumbers, or any other business owner. My husband is a plumber and we are both Christians. No, his logo doesn't have a fish, but a "Knight" with a small cross on the sheild, representing the armour of faith. Most wouldn't even know the reason for the logo but it's what was chosen to represent HIMSELF, not to scam for business. As Christians, we are told by Jesus that if we don't publicly profess Him to others then He will not profess us to our Heavenly Father. Again, it's just something we choose to do, like others that choose to wear an "I'm with stupid" tee shirt or wear their pants down to their knees. It has nothing to do with using religion to gain business favors. If you have good service, you don't need it anyway, do you? Give the guys a break!!
Doug said...
See mam, that's the problem. If you do have good service, you don't need to trick people in by using a false God symbol. (No where in the Bible is the Shield with a cross on it mentioned, heathen.) If you husband provided good service, he wouldn't need it.
But I tracked down you husband's business and the Better Business Bureau had a few things to say:
1. over charging
2. shoddy craftsmanship
3. kicked a dog at owner's house
4. sleeping on the job
5. huge butt crack reveal
Mam, your husband should have three Jesus fishes and eight shields with a cross, a Jewish star and stack of Quran in his ads just to make sure you get all the business you can.
Good day friend!
Anonymous said...
While the Bible doesn't directly mention a "shield with a cross on it," the 6th chapter of Ephesians mentions putting on the whole armor of God, and one piece of this armor is faith, represented by a shield. Of course, this is symbolic, and so is the empty cross in Christianity. Makes sense to me, since the anonymous poster said earlier that the reason that emblem is used in her husbands logo is to represent the armor of faith.
Doug said...
NO! In the Latin translation of the Bible (I assume you are using the Americanized version) it says in Ephesians 6-12 "Thou shall make of thy SOUL armor of thy Lord." This does not mean a physical logo that you slap on a so-so Plumber's ad in the yellow pages.
You are defiling the Lord with your Pegan symbol. If Jesus were here, he would kick over your yellow pages ad in the Temple along with the tables of doves.
You sicken me.
Anonymous said...
Why in the world are you using the Latin Vulgate as your source when the original letter to the Ephesians was written in Greek...? Most Protestant Christian churches disregard the Latin Vulgate as canon.
The original Greek letter places these two words adjacent to each other: thyreos, which can be translated as a reference to a shield, and pistis, which references "faith."
The verse in question is also Ephesians 6:16, not Ephesians 6:12, or for that matter, 6:11 which sounds more like what you were referring to.
I'm sorry I sicken you. And I sincerely apologize for whatever harm any person has done to you to make you feel a personal vendetta against Christians. But you need to understand that not all Christians are the same, and generalizing Christians does nothing to help any situation. It only makes everything worse, just as Christians generalizing Atheists makes everything worse.
I understand that not all Atheists are snobby condescending Christian hating people who are trying to "extinguish" the world of religion. I hope you understand that not all Christians are Bible-beating fundamentalists who are out to further their own agenda and shove their beliefs down our throats.
Doug said...
Wow, you couldn't be more incorrect. You should check the Hermosis Guanta Codex for help with translation. Most scholars agree to the pistis meaning faith, but thyreos is a derivation of thyrscis, which loosely means a large separation of body or "A big shit." I think basically what they are trying to say is that anyone who would profess their faith along with an advertisement for their work buries their faith in excrement. You should study your bible history. This is an outrage.
Anonymous said...
Lol that was actually pretty funny. But seeing as you're just messing with me now, there's no need to continue. See ya!
Doug said...
Thanks for playing.
It’s an old article, but some poor woman happened upon it and found the need to comment. I found the need to argue with her using made up facts and lies. She took the bait and our conversation is as follows:
Anonymous said...
I'm not sure why the attack on plumbers, or any other business owner. My husband is a plumber and we are both Christians. No, his logo doesn't have a fish, but a "Knight" with a small cross on the sheild, representing the armour of faith. Most wouldn't even know the reason for the logo but it's what was chosen to represent HIMSELF, not to scam for business. As Christians, we are told by Jesus that if we don't publicly profess Him to others then He will not profess us to our Heavenly Father. Again, it's just something we choose to do, like others that choose to wear an "I'm with stupid" tee shirt or wear their pants down to their knees. It has nothing to do with using religion to gain business favors. If you have good service, you don't need it anyway, do you? Give the guys a break!!
Doug said...
See mam, that's the problem. If you do have good service, you don't need to trick people in by using a false God symbol. (No where in the Bible is the Shield with a cross on it mentioned, heathen.) If you husband provided good service, he wouldn't need it.
But I tracked down you husband's business and the Better Business Bureau had a few things to say:
1. over charging
2. shoddy craftsmanship
3. kicked a dog at owner's house
4. sleeping on the job
5. huge butt crack reveal
Mam, your husband should have three Jesus fishes and eight shields with a cross, a Jewish star and stack of Quran in his ads just to make sure you get all the business you can.
Good day friend!
Anonymous said...
While the Bible doesn't directly mention a "shield with a cross on it," the 6th chapter of Ephesians mentions putting on the whole armor of God, and one piece of this armor is faith, represented by a shield. Of course, this is symbolic, and so is the empty cross in Christianity. Makes sense to me, since the anonymous poster said earlier that the reason that emblem is used in her husbands logo is to represent the armor of faith.
Doug said...
NO! In the Latin translation of the Bible (I assume you are using the Americanized version) it says in Ephesians 6-12 "Thou shall make of thy SOUL armor of thy Lord." This does not mean a physical logo that you slap on a so-so Plumber's ad in the yellow pages.
You are defiling the Lord with your Pegan symbol. If Jesus were here, he would kick over your yellow pages ad in the Temple along with the tables of doves.
You sicken me.
Anonymous said...
Why in the world are you using the Latin Vulgate as your source when the original letter to the Ephesians was written in Greek...? Most Protestant Christian churches disregard the Latin Vulgate as canon.
The original Greek letter places these two words adjacent to each other: thyreos, which can be translated as a reference to a shield, and pistis, which references "faith."
The verse in question is also Ephesians 6:16, not Ephesians 6:12, or for that matter, 6:11 which sounds more like what you were referring to.
I'm sorry I sicken you. And I sincerely apologize for whatever harm any person has done to you to make you feel a personal vendetta against Christians. But you need to understand that not all Christians are the same, and generalizing Christians does nothing to help any situation. It only makes everything worse, just as Christians generalizing Atheists makes everything worse.
I understand that not all Atheists are snobby condescending Christian hating people who are trying to "extinguish" the world of religion. I hope you understand that not all Christians are Bible-beating fundamentalists who are out to further their own agenda and shove their beliefs down our throats.
Doug said...
Wow, you couldn't be more incorrect. You should check the Hermosis Guanta Codex for help with translation. Most scholars agree to the pistis meaning faith, but thyreos is a derivation of thyrscis, which loosely means a large separation of body or "A big shit." I think basically what they are trying to say is that anyone who would profess their faith along with an advertisement for their work buries their faith in excrement. You should study your bible history. This is an outrage.
Anonymous said...
Lol that was actually pretty funny. But seeing as you're just messing with me now, there's no need to continue. See ya!
Doug said...
Thanks for playing.
Old Pedo License Plate - Advertising Child Molestor or Aged Foot Doctor?
PRO TIP: Do not search for the term "old pedo" on-line.
All paper products removed from bathroom prank
Some signs were recently posted in the bathrooms at work outlining some additional resource saving measures:
SIGN POSTED AT URINAL
A COPY OF THE SIGN
You know that someday, it will come down to something similar (like the three shells in the bathrooms from Demolition Man.)
SIGN POSTED AT URINAL
A COPY OF THE SIGN
You know that someday, it will come down to something similar (like the three shells in the bathrooms from Demolition Man.)
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