GOP confident in scheme to dupe Dems with election day switch

COLUMBUS, OH – There were rounds of high fives and chest bumps at an undisclosed Republican office this Monday night. They were celebrating a successful viral attack on local Democrats. Mr. R (not his real name) was beaming with pride, “We got word from the HQ that we were to do everything possible to get McCain elected. We think we pretty much nailed it.”

Mr. R reported that his next door neighbor, Mr. C (not his real name) heard about a subversive act in other cities to trick Democrats into voting on the wrong day. They decided to try it and in Mr. C’s words, “It worked like a charm!” The two posted signs all over the neighborhood stating that there were too many people voting and that the voting would be split up over two days. We found hundreds of these signs over the Columbus area.



Monday morning had Mr. R and Mr. C wearing camouflage and hiding in the bushes, counting hundreds of Obama supporters heading to the polls. They laughed as they passed the binoculars back and forth all morning. “We don’t feel bad for anyone that is stupid enough not actually vote on Election Day. We’ll be laughing it up tomorrow night when the polls close at midnight.”

I skiped school to see Sarah

George Bush's updated list of Presidential Pardons

Porn Star Parking (SFW)

We saw this handicapped parking space at a local restaurant yesterday.

Thanks to Conny, we now know what it is for.

Thanks to Keegan for the photo.

Turn about is fair play for McCain

Empty, originally uploaded by berik.

You may have heard the rumor that Obama kicked three reporters off his campaign jet to make room for a few other media types. The three he kicked off came from newspapers who endorsed McCain.

McCain announced that he, too, was going to remove all the reporters from his campaign jet that came from media outlets that endorsed Obama.

You can see the results.

The Crunchie

A crunchie is a collection of congealed, random deep fryer particles that gather together over several rounds of fast food fries, fish bits, nuggets or cheese sticks and somehow gain buoyancy and are set free once they are big enough to get stuck in the small metal openings of the wire basket.

This crunchie managed to make it past Quality Control person #13 at the local Arby's.



The penny is not there to help you determine the size of the crunchie, but rather to make you think about which would be healthier to swallow.

Anyone got any photographic evidence of a larger crunchie or should I send this photo off to Guinness World Records?

Screenshot of John McCain's 1/2 hour infomercial

Palin's Plan

Jesus Votes

Sarah Palin chooses “Joe the Plumber” as her Vice Vice President

ST. LOUIS, Missouri (HJN) – In an unprecedented turn of events, Governor Sarah Palin has announced that “Joe The Plumber” Wurzelbacher will be running as her Vice Vice President in the 2008 Election. The announcement came shortly after her three hour deposition to the state Personnel Board, which is looking into whether she unfairly fired Alaska's public safety director this summer.

Surrounded by her family and the Wurzelbacher family, Governor Palin made the announcement at a planned, impromptu press conference, “I think that any true American would be just as proud as all get out to have “Joe the Plumber” as their Vice Vice President."

When questioned about the role of the Vice Vice President, Governor Palin was keen to reply, “Cleaning up Washington is gonna take a lot of work and elbow grease. While John is off killing the terrorists and while I am running the Senate and the House, and my VVP “Joe the Plumber” will be in DC, unclogging the pipes of democracy.”

A press release later announced in detail some more of his official roles:
Captain of the Post Office
Leader of Highway Making
National Park Lumberjack Boss
Coast Guard Person Man
Todd Palin #1 Drinking Buddy East of the Mississippi

“Joe The Plumber” was a bit taken back by all the attention, “It all happened kind of fast. I was working on my 03’ taxes when a bunch of really nice guys in suits came in and asked me sports trivia questions for about an hour. Sarah said it sounded rough and that her vetting only lasted half as long.”

Directly after the press conference, Governor Palin was overheard discussing the Vice Vice President position with a reporter who was questioning the validity of a Vice President creating the role of Vice Vice President. She happily replied, “Listen silly goose, if there’s anything I’ve learned in the past eight years, it’s that the Vice President can pretty much do what ever they want.”