My $29.95 Doorstop

Here is a photo of my new $29.95 doorstop.


It works out well because the extra weight of the cumbersomeness helps on breezy days. I was using it as a paper weight, but the book kept taking my simple English sentences and adding random letters and gibberish.

No one has ever accused me of being smart, but I was able to make it through Donaldson and Tolkien without plucking my eyeballs out. (Well, not The Silmarillion, so maybe you can do the math.) It’s one thing to need a glossary to decipher a book. It’s another to need to have scratch paper, the entire works of Thelenes and an abacus.

I guess I’ll just re-read Diamond Age again and remember the good days.

George Bush signs $700 billion dollar bill


President George W. Bush signs the $700 billion US financial bailout bill in the Oval Office at the White House in Washington Friday. (Charles Dharapak/Associated Press)

Greg and Dad - The Debate



(I have to assume that McCain is the one with four light sabers (a la General Grievous.)

Screaming Old Woman Cab Driver

On our way back from lunch, we passed a cab being driven by a very old woman. I thought this was very unique and was able to snap a quick photo of her. Later I took a closer look at the photo and it's completely freaked me out. It looks like she is screaming.



I am tormented by this photo.

Happy 10th Anniversary

Ten years ago, on a beach on Kiawah Island, SC, Miss Sally and Doug were married.

And against all odds and egg timers, she has stuck by my side.

Happy 10th Anniversary!!


Then



Now

Sarah Palin's Glasses Secret

Hollywood Running Out of 555 Phone Numbers

HOLLYWOOD- Representatives from all arenas in Hollywood are shuddering at the prospect that the quantity of 555-XXXX phone numbers is running dangerously low.

Phil Ausherman, Writers’ Guild spokesperson, stated Wednesday that, “The Studio analysts have determined that there are only twelve or thirteen 555 phone numbers left.” He elaborated, “I’m sure that years ago they thought that 10,000 fake phone numbers would last forever. Now we’re down to a couple unrealistic numbers like 555-2424. Audiences would immediately pick that out as fake and then the whole suspension of disbelief thingy is right out the window.”

The phone companies suggested that studios begin using the prefix 555 so that the average Tommy or Jenny wouldn’t be getting phone calls in the middle of the night asking for a Private Eye or Unwilling Hero.

The lower end numbers got used up first as screenwriters are lazy and actors had trouble dialing 555-9989 on rotary dials. Mr. Ausherman suggested that any taxi in a film got the easy to remember 555-7777 or 555-2222 numbers. “No movie scriptwriter has been audacious enough to suggest that the phone number 555-5555 could be real, even in a movie.”

For a while, the number 555-2368 was reused over and over in films. With the advent of the internet, movie goers are now keen to the number and are quick to call it out. Acting coach Sally Byers related, “There’s nothing worse that having a dramatic hostage standoff negotiation scene killed by someone in the theater yelling out, ‘That’s the Ghostbuster’s number!” So the practice of reusing numbers has been phased out and now the unused numbers are almost gone.

Some filmmakers encourage the use of letters for the last four digits, but Ausherman countered, “There are probably only 20 or so four letter words that aren’t dirty. Besides, what chick flick would have the heroine giving out her number as 555-MUNG or 555-LIPS?”

When I questioned Mr. Ausherman about increasing the number of phone numbers by including area codes he said it wasn’t realistic. “Who gives out their area code with their phone number? Besides, nothing happens outside the 323 anyways.”

Margot and the Nuclear So and So’s in Columbus

I could not be happier. Margot and the Nuclear So and So’s will be in Columbus at Skully’s Music Diner on October 19th.

Tickets are $10 pre-sale. I bought four of them. Miss Sally and I are going. I’m sure Acton will join in.

Anyone else interested?

Ducklings

Tonight, my five year old Greg mentioned that his friend Bob had eaten Chinese food. I told Greg that we could try Chinese food sometime if he was curious what it tasted like.

A few minutes later Greg said, “I want to try and eat ducklings.”

“Ducklings?”

“Yeah. Ducklings.”

My mind raced. Bob is a mix of Korean and Filipino. I didn’t know if duckling was a traditional dish in his family or if they had eaten and some very authentic Chinese restaurant that only Koreans and Filipinos know about. I then thought about the fermented duck eggs that are a delicacy to some and vomit inducing to others.

I decided to be as delicate and politically correct about the issue as possible and share with Greg that sometimes some people eat food that is very different and that…

Greg then added, “Bob said he ate ducklings with chopsticks.”

I though for a half second.

“You mean Dumplings?”

“Yeah. Dumplings. With crabs in them.”

“Yes. We can try dumplings.”