Police Called in on Search after Facebook Friend Goes Missing

COLUMBUS- Columbus Police were called into to assist with finding a woman reported missing early Friday afternoon from a local man’s Facebook page. Currently the police have no leads.

Luke Lester called police after he realized the woman was missing from his friends list. “I had recently found a girl from my high school and “added” her to my friends. I was in the process of sending her a drink and a link to my blog and she was gone.” Lester had found the girl using a tool on the site that helps locate people you might know. His request was accepted and he began endlessly commenting on her status and plying her with virtual drinks. “We were getting along great right before she disappeared. I hadn’t actually spoken with her, but she was accepting my virtual plants and invitation to guess what 80’s rock band she was. I was just about to send her a margarita because I saw her wearing a Hawaiian shirt in one of her photos.” Lester was unable to find her in his list of friends and after searching on his own for a few minutes, decided he should call for help. “It was like she was deleted from my life.”

Police report that the search has been difficult because Lester seems to be blocked from looking at the woman’s profile. “It’s almost like she trying to stay missing.”

25 Random Things About Me Help

You may be familiar with the Facebook / e-mail going around that asks for you to list 25 random things about yourself that people might not know. This item is very popular, but many people have not completed the list because they can only think of 22 or 23 things about themselves. If you find yourself in this predicament, feel free to use one of the following to top off your list.

- Ate 34 White Castles at one sitting and subsequently did not date for three years.
- Loved the Marathon Bar (with the ruler on the back) and still have a ½ eaten one under my bed
- Killed a man in a fight, but we made up afterwards
- I’ve eaten bear, rabbit, turtle and something that might have been tofu.
- I have never failed a lie detector test.
- I was kicked out of the Secret Service for having sex with a chicken.
- Three time Mid-Ohio AA Checkers Champion (freestyle)
- Like oatmeal, hate porridge, no comment on grits
- Lost my virginity for the thirteenth time at the new B-Hamptons on the stamped metal dance floor
- Made my bed once back in 1994 and haven’t looked back.
- Brew my own Schlitz Malt Liquor
- I can beat you at 80’dance and 90’s glam
- Favorite board game - Sorry; favorite thing to say after sex – Sorry
- Need the Gandalf, Lord of the Rings, Burger King Glass Goblet to complete the set
- Own two reversible bras
- I’m afraid of drive-thrus
- I count my printer paper to ensure all 500 sheets are there. Once I found an extra sheet and sent it back to the company.
- Can’t figure out how to load music on my iPod, so I walk around pretending like I listen to music
- Recently learned that the cardboard tube is NOT the last sheet of toilet paper.
- I drive like I own a standard, but only have an automatic. The guys at car repair shop know my credit card number by heart.
- I have had an erection for the past 18 years.
- I have never met a man I could best in nude, hands tied behind your back wrestling.
- I have an irrational fear of fractions
- I think white out is racist
- My glass is half full. Then shits starts to evaporate and I get pessimistic.
- I can’t forget.

Goodbye Zima

By now you have probably figured out that I am very, very fem. If you didn't recognize that through the haze of manliness that I exude, listen to this:

I like Zima. I like Zima and I like to put fruit in Zima. I like Zima because it tastes fruity and sparkley and I'm sure that when unicorns cry, they cry Zima tears.

I recently cried when I found out that the unicorns had ceased to produce tears and therefore Zima had halted production. My sister also loves Zima so I called her immediately. The phone didn't even ring once because she had picked it up right as I dialed the last number, feeling a ripple in the force. She asked me, "Did someone in the family die?" I said, "No, it's worse," and I told her and she didn't say anything for a little bit before hanging up.

The next day Amy must have gone around punching and stabbing unicorns because she sent me this photo:


She had traveled in the four state region, collecting Zima from High School parties and under the beds of shamed fraternity brothers. Her collection is not large and someday she will drink the Last Zima. I hope I am there to witness.

Jesus' First Miracle

Sarah's Cool Cigar Box Purse

I love Sarah's cigar box purse. Not that I doubt Sarah's adept skills, but I had to question her for several minutes until I believed that she made it herself. It is very well done. So without further ado and any doubts about my manliness out the window, here is Sarah's cigar box purse.







Good stuff!

Jen's Dog

Yo Dawg!




Photo via: http://www.flickr.com/photos/boozysmurf/11841066/