Here is a list of common words and phrases I cannot stand. See if your hated verbiage is in the list!
Meh
This word completely pisses me off. Perhaps it is how falls out of the mouth with such disdain. Or that it is one of the few words in which you don’t use your tongue to pronounce. Most of all, it’s the compression of so much indifference that is crammed into a three letter word. People use it to replace pages of text and explanation. It’s like saying, “I don’t care about you or your opinion enough to reply with anything but a monosyllabic, muted yelp." On top of all that, I'm compelled to say it out loud whenever I read it. Meh. Yuck.
You’ve got your work cut out for you
Who thought of this crappy phrase? It’s ass backwards. The phrase is supposed to mean that you have a tough job ahead with a lot of pain and suffering sprinkled on top. I think most people understand it as such when reading or hearing it. But what I don’t get is that if your work is all ready cut out for you, the first step would be done and you’d be that much closer to completing your task. What would be a lot of work is if you had to cut the work out yourself and then do it. I guess that phrase would be, “You’ve got your work to cut out.” Now that I’ve written it, I’m not so pleased with that one either.
Don’t go there
This phrase has crossed ethnic boundaries and become popular with whitey which has caused it to fail. A lot of times you will see this phrase accentuated with "uh-huh" and "girl" and various closed mouth noises and finger wagging. By saying "Don't go there" you are admitting guilt of having been "there" and of doing something embarrassing while "there." Just don’t go there.
Absolutely
This word is used too often and people don’t really know its true power. Absolutely is a commanding word with no ifs ands or buts. It should be used with caution. If someone responds “absolutely” to your question, you should feel empowered and take them up on it. I get it a lot when asking to speak to someone over the phone. “Can I please speak with Mr. Jones?” “Absolutely.” At that moment, I am thusly sanctioned to let Mr. Jones hear what ever I want to tell him about my kids or my thoughts on how he’s running his company into the ground. Next time someone says “absolutely” to you, clarify that is what they said and then have at it.
Pwned
I simply don’t like this word because I never get to use it. I am the one who get his ass handed to him in games and arguments. I suck.
Couple
I don’t blame anyone but myself for this one. For years, I thought that “a couple” could mean two or three or four. The dictionary might say that the informal definition is “a few; several: a couple of days,” but 98% of the world has corrected me. One co-worker solidified her stance with the well known Ohio phrase “a couple three” which when uttered can be used to describe how much beer to pick up. “Since Tommy’s bringing his kids, you might ‘unt to pick up a couple three cases of Pabst.”
Awesome
Unless it’s said by a stoner guy, awesome grates on my nerves. NASA seems to over use it to describe stuff in space. If it’s a stone guy describing stuff in space, I’m 50/50.
Top Ten
I dislike top ten, mainly because you can guarantee that the list is faulty or open to debate. The only Top Ten list I ever saw that was even close to being dead on was Yang Sma's Top Ten List of molds, spores and fungi. He pretty much nailed that one.
Blog
Christ. Blog is such an overly fanciful word. Only because it describes what I am doing now. And what the annoying stay at home mom across the street is doing. And most twelve year olds. I hate that the outlet for my brilliance is described in the same way as the writings of Lisa’s two cats or Bob’s internal struggle with coming out of the closet. Someone needs to come up with a new word so that I can move on.
Git r done
Without question, the worst phrase ever uttered, right after “The stripper you knocked up is talking to your wife about the venereal disease she gave you.”
Skully's - 80's night
Here is a clip from a local magazine called Columbus Alive! They did a story on Skully's Ladies' 80's night and it included a photo of Meshell and Jamie.
Now you can see why we go.
Napkin Bet
Conny was in town for a few days and we had a few drinks at Byrne's Pub.
During our conversation, he suggested that Ohio State was going to get beat by 14 points in the Championship Game.
So we each bet. Ten bucks if each person's team wins outright. Twenty if the team wins by 14 points.
We drew it up on a napkin. Looks like a logic problem. I like our signatures though.
Videos?
I just realized that I can post videos to my site.
Do you have a video you want posted? Do you have a video that someone else does not want posted? Lemmie know! holyjuan@gmail.com
I have an audience to maintain so keep it somewhere between PG13 and Patton Oswald.
Do you have a video you want posted? Do you have a video that someone else does not want posted? Lemmie know! holyjuan@gmail.com
I have an audience to maintain so keep it somewhere between PG13 and Patton Oswald.
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