Miss Sally gave Greg his bath last night as I finished painting the living room. (It was an awful red that only looked good in photos.) Usually I give Greg his bath and afterwards we watch 15 minutes of cartoons as he dries off. We then revert back to the normal bedtime routine. The good thing about “routines” is that they create expectations and get a child to sleep with limited wrangling. The bad thing about routines is if you stray from them, the schedully unrestrained child will most likely tumble out of control.
Miss Sally was not aware of Greg’s bath night routine of cartoon watching and she ended up wrangling him for an additional thirty minutes after the twenty minutes of arguing and figuring out where the train left the track.
Later on in the kitchen, Sally suggested that we need to get Greg on a standardized routine or share with each other what the routines are. I agreed. She also then mentioned that it would be nice if we could get out of the house and go on a date. I thought these were both great suggestions and I realized that we just had a conversation that was suitable for Dr. Phil. Wow. Communication. Sharing. What a great marriage!!
The next morning, still glowing from our conversation the night before, I gave Ann her bottle and was making ACTUAL PANCAKES ON THE STOVE . It was during this time that I flipped aimlessly through Real Simple Family magazine that had been sitting on the counter. My eyes glanced over an article about “Sticky Situations” with bottle of glue icons to rate the level of stickiness.
That’s when I saw this one:
Coincidence? I think NOT! I'd been magazined. My wife had read something in a magazine and tried to covertly implement it into our life.
I circled it with pink highlighter and left it open on the counter. Miss Sally came down a few minutes later and I said, “Look what we have here…” and pointed to the magazine.
She read the quip and shrugged slightly. I accused, “This is almost word for word what you said last night. And this article suggests I lie on the couch all the time.”
She denied it. Yes, she had read that article, but in no way shape or form was she attempting to article verbatim our relationship. And she was not accusing me of laziness as I am always putting Greg to bed. The routine suggestion was just that and the date night comment was just that as well.
Still… I’m sure it was possibly a subconscious train of thought to go from Greg’s routine to date night. Miss Sally would never magazine me.
I wish the article would have been from Cosmopolitan magazine and been titled “Ten Sex Cravings All Guys Have” with boobs for rating icons. Maybe I should get the highlighter out.