Made up internet statistics up 78%

COLUMBUS-(HJ) Made up internet statistics are up a staggering 78% over the past six months, reported researchers from The Ohio University School of Internet Studies. Professor Mars Alex has seen a steady rise since the initial 22% decline of fictional statistics subsequent the elections. “Usually we notice a 10% – 15% drop in made up statistics, but 33% of the researchers took 50% of the case studies and determined the increase. We’re 99% sure this is for real.”

Polling during elections makes up for most the discrepancies, though polls from opposing sides tend to cancel each other out. This year, fictional statistics have had a 180% turn around. “We expected to see less fake statistics with the new administration, but they’ve continued the recent trend. Internet Scientists were disappointed at the new GOP “budget” that had no statistics whatsoever. “It’s tough to make up fake numbers when the budget doesn’t have any numbers at all.” Republicans promisied 100% more numbers and a much greater percentage of fabricated statistics in their Budget 2.0.

Reasons for the increase of made up statistics are, of course, blamed on the economy. Professor Alex suggests, “No matter what the economy's doing, we’re right most the time, give or take 35%.”

1 comment:

sedgehurst said...

Minor pet peeve: the [99% sure this is real] and [give or take 35%] are probabilities, not statistics.

I'm 80% sure this is the case.