Gay Man’s Book Day

I don’t think it comes as a surprise to any of you that I am gay. Super gay. Here’s how gay:

Miss Sally goes out about once a week with her friends. Once she leaves the house and the kids are in bed, John will come over and we watch a movie and eat pop corn. We call it “Gay Man’s Movie Night.” We like to discuss the movie and laugh (Borat} or be sad {The Life Aquatic} or wonder what all the hype was about {Knocked Up.}

A few weeks ago, John and I were at a bar after an Ohio State football game. There were a lot of hot girls there. Hot, drunk girls. John and I stood around on the edge of the dance floor and debated a number of logic points in Stephen Donaldson’s most recent book. A girl sauntered off the dance floor and completely unprovoked she said to us, “You are both pathetic.” She then turned back out on to the dance floor. We were stunned. And then we laughed. It was true. Gay Man’s Date Night.

Tomorrow, Stephen R. Donaldson’s next book is coming out. I re-arranged my meetings so that I would be done by 11:00am. John took the day off. We’ll meet at the Barnes and Nobel around noon and buy two copies of the book. I expect that we will cuddle up next to each other on a couch in the cafe and read the first 100 pages or so. Gay Man’s Book Day.

And that's how gay I am.

If you have any other date selections for us, please let us know.

And P.S.: Robert Jordan can suck Donaldson’s balls. Donaldson writes circles around that hack. That was your Gay Man’s Author Critique.


John said...

Now wait just a goddamn minute, pal. We're not gay, we're just misunderstood. Hell, the mere thought causes me to break out in a severe state of formication. And who are we to be judged by drunk beautiful girls for debating the existential ramifications of time travel and their concomitant effects upon the chronological plotline development in the present? Wow, we really are gay. See ya at 11:00 AM, sport.

Sleepy Scott said...

Wow! That sounds really gay! Thanks, Holyjuan! I no longer believe that I'm the most pathetic dude alive.