It’s Not Cheating If You...

Many people wonder if their actions outside of a relationship could be considered as cheating. I have developed a list of acceptable discrepancies. Check to see if you are a cheater or someone with a very good excuse.

It’s not cheating if you…

...get a handjob from a lesbian.

...have sex with a second cousin.

...get a blowjob in a different country. (And yes, Canada and Mexico are different counties. The District of Columbia is not, but close enough.)

...are being videotaped. (I'd call that auditioning.)

...pay for sex. (That's called a transaction.)

...are about to die or possibly may die in the next 14 days.

...have sex with a paraplegic.

...are stuck in an elevator. (Hitting the EMERGENCY STOP button does not count.)

...are about to do a threesome and your camera skills are lacking.

...the person is on your laminated list.

...the person is really, really famous, but not on your laminated list.

...have sex at a strip club (That never happens.)

...have sex with an ex-spouse.

...have sex with your next spouse.

...are taking one for the team.

...have sex with a dead person. (It's disgusting, but not cheating. Unless the dead person is a relative. That's sick and you are a cheater.)

I hope that helps!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

What about a blow job from a lesbian?

Doug said...

In another country, yes. In the states, no UNLESS she is trying to figure out hew sexuality. Then you can chalk it up in the therapy column and therapy ain't cheatin'.