Fred’s Sister

Do you have some tidbit of worthless information stuck in your brain that won’t or can’t leave? I do.

In grade school, I had a friend named Fred. Fred had an older sister named Jodi. (We all thought Jodi was hot. We secretly dreamed about losing our virginity to her.)

Fred had a nickname for Jodi. JidaBean.

Every year, Fred would add a new name on to her old nickname. The next year, he added Fat Banana. JidaBean-FatBanana.

Then Bullwinkle Moose. JidaBean-FatBanana-BullwinkleMoose.

He continued this for several years.

By the time we were too old for such things her nickname was: JidaBean-FatBannana-BullWinkleMoose-HowieThorton-CrazyEddie-ShirleyPimple-TheIncredibleBulk-MalinCralin-Pimplesquim-Delbert.

I will never forget that.

And just in case you are wondering, yes, I did lose my virginity to Jodi. Do you know how hard it is to scream “JidaBeanFatBannanaBullWinkleMooseHowieThortonCrazyEddieShirleyPimpleTheIncredibleBulkMalinCralin PimplesquimDelbert” during twenty seconds of awkward sex?

1 comment:

lin' said...

i know what you mean. there's a lot of things growing up that I don't remember. But I'll never forget the boy that lived behind my grandparents. We used to pick on him unmercifully. He would stand up on the fence and my sister and I would taunt him most days, all in good fun. His mother was killed in a car crash and his father committed suicide. The kid's name was Frances Jospeh Keller and for some reason, I can't forget it.