Showing posts with label virgin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label virgin. Show all posts

Fred’s Sister

Do you have some tidbit of worthless information stuck in your brain that won’t or can’t leave? I do.

In grade school, I had a friend named Fred. Fred had an older sister named Jodi. (We all thought Jodi was hot. We secretly dreamed about losing our virginity to her.)

Fred had a nickname for Jodi. JidaBean.

Every year, Fred would add a new name on to her old nickname. The next year, he added Fat Banana. JidaBean-FatBanana.

Then Bullwinkle Moose. JidaBean-FatBanana-BullwinkleMoose.

He continued this for several years.

By the time we were too old for such things her nickname was: JidaBean-FatBannana-BullWinkleMoose-HowieThorton-CrazyEddie-ShirleyPimple-TheIncredibleBulk-MalinCralin-Pimplesquim-Delbert.

I will never forget that.

And just in case you are wondering, yes, I did lose my virginity to Jodi. Do you know how hard it is to scream “JidaBeanFatBannanaBullWinkleMooseHowieThortonCrazyEddieShirleyPimpleTheIncredibleBulkMalinCralin PimplesquimDelbert” during twenty seconds of awkward sex?