Thanks Carpanza!
Ride
John picked me up last night to get a drink. Most the bars in Columbus would be closed for Thanksgiving, but Byrnes would not. It tends to draw in a crowd that are back from family and want a drink or those without family and need a drink. It was 9:00pm.
We pulled out of my allotment and turned to hit the main road. I called Josh to see if he wanted to join us. He didn’t answer so I began to leave him a message.
There are two gas stations on the corner of the main road and a woman was standing on the corner to our right. She was pretty and nicely dressed. The light was red so we got to watch what happened next.
I immediately thought the woman was out begging for money. I’d seen this tactic before, even from well dressed people that don’t fit the off ramp beggar stereotype. I mentioned this on my message to Josh in a kind of play by play. She walked back to a van that pulled up just behind in the lane next to us. It was the white, industrial van with lettering on the door advertising a fix-it business. The driver was on his cell phone. I thought she was going to knock on the window, but instead she opened the door of the van and hopped in. She must have been waiting for a ride.
The driver leaned over and punched her.
Or at least he tried. It was hard for him to lean all the way over and get a good blow in. She spun with her back to the door and blocked the second punch with her legs. She started to kick back. The driver now was blocking her kicks with both hands and trying to hit her back. He never dropped the cell phone. As all this escalated, I continued to describe it in the message. Even the name of the company and the phone number on the side of the van.
The light switched to green and we turned left. I could see the van rocking back and forth as it got smaller and smaller in the distance. I hung up the phone.
Josh called me back a few minutes later and said, “What the fuck was up with that message?” I said it was what it was… a play by play of a fight at a stop light. He said I sounded like the reporter at the Hindenburg catastrophe. I thought I had my shit together better than that.
We sat at the bar and drank pints of beer. We laughed and told stories and talked about a zombie movie script.
Later, John drove me home. We passed the corner where the woman had been waiting for her ride. There was nothing there to prove what we saw had ever happened.
We pulled out of my allotment and turned to hit the main road. I called Josh to see if he wanted to join us. He didn’t answer so I began to leave him a message.
There are two gas stations on the corner of the main road and a woman was standing on the corner to our right. She was pretty and nicely dressed. The light was red so we got to watch what happened next.
I immediately thought the woman was out begging for money. I’d seen this tactic before, even from well dressed people that don’t fit the off ramp beggar stereotype. I mentioned this on my message to Josh in a kind of play by play. She walked back to a van that pulled up just behind in the lane next to us. It was the white, industrial van with lettering on the door advertising a fix-it business. The driver was on his cell phone. I thought she was going to knock on the window, but instead she opened the door of the van and hopped in. She must have been waiting for a ride.
The driver leaned over and punched her.
Or at least he tried. It was hard for him to lean all the way over and get a good blow in. She spun with her back to the door and blocked the second punch with her legs. She started to kick back. The driver now was blocking her kicks with both hands and trying to hit her back. He never dropped the cell phone. As all this escalated, I continued to describe it in the message. Even the name of the company and the phone number on the side of the van.
The light switched to green and we turned left. I could see the van rocking back and forth as it got smaller and smaller in the distance. I hung up the phone.
Josh called me back a few minutes later and said, “What the fuck was up with that message?” I said it was what it was… a play by play of a fight at a stop light. He said I sounded like the reporter at the Hindenburg catastrophe. I thought I had my shit together better than that.
We sat at the bar and drank pints of beer. We laughed and told stories and talked about a zombie movie script.
Later, John drove me home. We passed the corner where the woman had been waiting for her ride. There was nothing there to prove what we saw had ever happened.
PETA Plans for Protest of Python
I couldn’t believe it when I read this. Take a look at this news release from PETA -
http://www.peta.org/actioncenter/ActionAlerts-item/monty_python_SPAMALOT.
Basically, here are the good parts:
Columbus, OH- In recognition of World Week for Feathered Friends, PETA members, joined by replica parrot hand puppets and waving signs that say, “Python: Stop Killing Parrots!” will protest the showing of Monty Python’s SPAMALOT at the Ohio Theatre in an effort to persuade people to cease laughing at Monty Python videos, movies and live theatre acts until the company stops abusing the likenesses of animals. This protest is part of PETA’s international campaign against the England-based comedy troupe and their continued use of parrots, cows and cats in their sketch comedy.
Date: Friday, November 23, 2007
Time: 7:30pm
Place: Ohio Theatre, 39 E. State St. Columbus, OH 43215
Alice Stales with the Columbus branch of PETA said, “By using Python in their name, we knew it was a tip off that this group would abuse animals.” She added, “When I saw that cow go flying over the castle wall, I just cried.”
Several PETA members are taking time off from their Black Thursday or “Thanksgiving” demonstrations to prepare for the protest. Mark Jakes of Nelsonville admitted to being a Monty Python fan for years until his girlfriend got him involved with PETA, “There was that one skit where they sell raw, dead albatross. It’s not that funny if you were the albatross or albatross flavored. The crunchy frog skit was funny but not when I found out why they were crunchy.”
Alice Stales also admitted to harboring ambivalent feelings towards pythons in general, being that they're animals, but ones who kill and eat other, cuter, animals. “We’re teaching snakes to eat soy shaped rabbits.”
http://www.peta.org/actioncenter/ActionAlerts-item/monty_python_SPAMALOT.
Basically, here are the good parts:
Columbus, OH- In recognition of World Week for Feathered Friends, PETA members, joined by replica parrot hand puppets and waving signs that say, “Python: Stop Killing Parrots!” will protest the showing of Monty Python’s SPAMALOT at the Ohio Theatre in an effort to persuade people to cease laughing at Monty Python videos, movies and live theatre acts until the company stops abusing the likenesses of animals. This protest is part of PETA’s international campaign against the England-based comedy troupe and their continued use of parrots, cows and cats in their sketch comedy.
Date: Friday, November 23, 2007
Time: 7:30pm
Place: Ohio Theatre, 39 E. State St. Columbus, OH 43215
Alice Stales with the Columbus branch of PETA said, “By using Python in their name, we knew it was a tip off that this group would abuse animals.” She added, “When I saw that cow go flying over the castle wall, I just cried.”
Several PETA members are taking time off from their Black Thursday or “Thanksgiving” demonstrations to prepare for the protest. Mark Jakes of Nelsonville admitted to being a Monty Python fan for years until his girlfriend got him involved with PETA, “There was that one skit where they sell raw, dead albatross. It’s not that funny if you were the albatross or albatross flavored. The crunchy frog skit was funny but not when I found out why they were crunchy.”
Alice Stales also admitted to harboring ambivalent feelings towards pythons in general, being that they're animals, but ones who kill and eat other, cuter, animals. “We’re teaching snakes to eat soy shaped rabbits.”
Overcome by Emotion
Erik and Dave could not help themselves yesterday during the Ohio State win over Michigan. When the game was in the bag, they took the opportunity to let their overflow of emotions come to the surface in a physical show of their mutual love of football and each other.
Fix your virginity
If you lose your virginity and want to get it fixed, would you go to a cherry cobbler?
One Button Elevator?
Here is my doctor’s office elevator panel inside the elevator.
And here is my question: why should a building with only two floors have an elevator with two buttons? All you would need is one button that says, “Other Floor.”
I think I know why, but I’ll let you guess first.
And here is my question: why should a building with only two floors have an elevator with two buttons? All you would need is one button that says, “Other Floor.”
I think I know why, but I’ll let you guess first.
What happens after you eat a whole box of Boo Berry?
The kid flew around the house for about twenty minutes. The wife said his arms would give out, but they never did. We finally got a broom and trapped him in a corner. He pooped blue for three days.
Spot the Difference - Pirates
Can you see the three differences between the two photos?
1. sword missing
2. bead not dangling in face
3. hair out of place
1. sword missing
2. bead not dangling in face
3. hair out of place
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