Showing posts with label douche. Show all posts
Showing posts with label douche. Show all posts

Are you a douche?

Are you a douche? Let's find out!

Question 1: Were you at the My Morning Jacket show in Columbus, OH on May 2nd?

Question 2: Did you shove and push your way through the crowd twenty minutes into the show to get closer to the stage?

Question 3: When asked to move did you smugly turn around and laugh.



Bonus points to the chick in the Ohio State University jacket that literally shoved the fuckers sideways to help them move on.

(I highly suggest reading the comments below... Levi has a real good one.)


I was in Lancaster this weekend to catch up with some friends. We went to a bar that a high school friend owns. While we were hanging out at the bar, a group of kids came in. I assumed that they were of age, because I can't tell anymore.

One of the dudes was a complete douchbag. How do I know this? For one, he looked like a douchebag... askew hat, stupid necklace, ironic shirt, fucking rich kid. Secondly, he acted like a douchbag... mistreating the bartender, running into people, aloof to the point of nausea.

Sadly, I wanted to punch the guy in the mouth.

Well, I must not have been the only one, because about twenty minutes later, there was a ruckus in the back of the bar and an employee yelled, "Call the cops!"

Word worked its way to the front of the bar that someone had got punched in the mouth. I said, "It was probably the douchebag." And it was. His friends started walking him out of the bar, but he went back to the back.

Cops showed up and went to the back of the bar. We assume they interviewed some people and low and behold, they came walking to the front of the bar with the douchebag. They weren't forcing him to move, but were telling him to get a move on outside. He was stalling and saying that he didn't want to leave. The cops had enough and dragged his ass out. The cuffed him and placed him in the cop car.

Cop came back in to show the bartender his fake ID. She said the front was a very good forgery, but that the bartender should look at the back of the license for some other telltale marks.

In the end, I felt bad for the kid... just kidding. We laughed our asses off.

Laser Guy likes the YMCA

I was zipping around the internet and clicked on a link about a douchbag in Cleveland who was recently found guilty of shooting a laser at passing airplanes. Upon arriving at the link, I was jumped by a YMCA ad that unfurled itself from the corner. I fought it back but couldn't help but notice that the guy in the pool looks a lot like the guy that just got busted for idiocy.

Douchebag Laser Guy

Douchebag Laser Guy better days