Erik Eats: Milk Drink

When Erik is thirsty, Erik reaches for a Milk Drink.


Milk Drink


A Hot-Kid Milk Drink.


Here is Hot-Kid with his rosy cheeks and crazy hair, similar to all Asian kids. I guess if you drink enough Milk Drink, that happens to you.


Erik opens


And smells

And smells again

And again.


He drinks…..


AND IS MAGICALLY TURNED INTO HOT-KID!


HOT-KID!!


Hot-Kid likes Milk Drink!


Next Week on Erik Eats: Lament of the Yeast and Coconut Liquid Delight Container Water

Doug Eats: Deluxe Grass Jelly Dessert - What is that which is not solid and not liquid but gives gas?

Last week, the team planned a fun lunch at the local Chinese all you can eat. Sadly, Ann got a fever and I could not join in the fun. Lucky for me, Jenn and Stephanie stopped next door at the Chinese grocery and picked me up some food for me to try out. Seeing as Erik is still dead from the Erik Eats a few months ago, it was my turn to step up.

Stephanie and Jenn with gifts of food.

Today on Erik Eats Doug Eats... Deluxe Grass Jelly Dessert


I'm not sure what it says on the can, but I assume that it explains how physics and gravity are both suspended within the confines of the can.


The top of the can has a lid with a folded up spoon on the inside. F'ing cool!



Transformers! More than meets the eye!

Bourarachutchchingcunchingchun!! (That is the transforming noise.)


Jen tests the spoon to see if it works and to remove any germs with her anti-bacterial saliva.


The top of the can has instructions on how to open it.


I follow them very carefully and mind my hand in the process.


Wait... my teeth are pretty grimy. I'm going to head to my dentist's office and get them cleaned and whitened. I'll be right back.

Much better!

Here is what opening the can reveals:


Holy shit! This looks like a collection of every gall stone removed in June of 1972.

We dump some of this on a plate to get a better look at the components.


We separate into the four food groups: ass, gunk, brown gel and goo


Instead of throwing this into the trash and running like a little girl down the hall and into the bathroom, I try it.


I love Stephanie's reaction in this one.




Wow. It is very hard to pallet the combination of solids and gels. There is a slight sweet taste, but only a man who eats sand for lunch could call this dessert.

Doug says...


I have to call this stuff a choking hazard.

HOLY SHIT! IT'S ERIK! BACK FROM THE DEAD!


Upon hearing my statement that the Deluxe Grass Jelly Dessert is a choking hazard, Erik wants to do a scientific study. He uses a tool of the trade, a choking detector.

This Safety 1st device lets the user know if something is a choking hazard. If the item fits in the device, it is a choking hazard. Erik fills it with this faux Newtonian Fluid.


Down the hatch!






Well. Not a choking hazard, but it does work as a great substitute for syrup of ipecac.

Next Week: Seven Days of Erik Eats!!

Greg Eats: Lemon Head - The Face Puckering Memory of Taste

Sadly, Erik was killed during the last Erik Eats segment, so now I'm being forced to use my son as food taste bait. Today on Greg Eats - Lemon Heads!


This type of Lemon Head is the individually wrapped, gumball sized version. Packed with Sourifiticky.


Not exactly round, but when you are filled with such delicious sour essence, it tries to force itself out of its round cage.


He pops it in his mouth. Maybe it's not so bad...


ARGH! IT'S SOUR!!


He's starting to get used to it...


ANOTHER WAVE OF SOUR HITS!!


The sour has overcome him!


He's down, but not out. His conclusion? Lemon Heads are AWESOME!

Erik Eats Ribon Milk Soft Candy: Solid Udder Squirt Yum Snack Taste with Surprise

Erik was very hungry today, but he was also very thirsty. He desired a healthy food, but a sugary snack. He wanted a full belly, but also a way to straighten his bent spine. Is there any snack out there that can suffice?

YES!!

Ribon Milk Soft Candy!

An inspection of the package reveals a cow and the suggestion of health:

At last! A not too sticky calcium enriched soft-candy that’s both healthy and tasty.

Erik likes tasty.
Erik likes healthy.
Erik likes not too sticky on his belly. I mean, in his belly.

Pull one out Erik and let’s take a look.





Well, a solid lump of white. Let's cut it open!




Looks… calciumy.

A look at the package reveals a bunch of numbers and foreign language.

Let’s bring in our interpreter Arata Isozaki to decipher the package.

Well that was knowledgefull!

Let’s see how Erik Eats.




He likes it!

Oh! We forgot to check the ingredients. Let’s take a quick look.


Nothing odd here…

Oh no!


What's a happenin'!


He's down!

Oh look! More candies to share with others! Yum!

Next week we will try some foods we found in the cafeteria during the renovations!