Showing posts with label Dustin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dustin. Show all posts

Employee Must "Wash Hands" (nudge, nudge, wink, wink)

My buddy Dustin found this sign in a Columbus, OH restaurant bathroom:

I think this is secret code for "Don't worry about washing your hands if no customers are around, but if they are in the bathroom, at least run the water for a few seconds and make a good show of it."

You can catch Dustin's website at

E3: Tuesday Revisited

(Please note: all times are completely made up)

5:30am - alarm
5:37am - while I'm in the shower, I hear the alarm. I hit snooze instead of off.
7:30am - Gate B30A is not in concourse A
(Switching to West Coast Time)
11:45am LAX airport, saw someone who wishes they were famous
1:15pm At the hotel. Just like the reviews said, there is a cooking food smell. Otherwise, very nice staff.
1:16pm What the hell is up with this freaking CAT5 cable that is 24" long?
1:17pm What the hell is up with the 200 baud modem?
1:18pm Leave to catch shuttle to E3
2:00pm Get badge and walk in
2:10pm Re-finance home- 9.25% ARM to buy sandwich and drink
2:20pm I. Am. In. Heaven.

The next four hours are a blur. Games. New releases, G4 television show being taped. Chats with developers. Chats with smaller vendors. People are keen on our projects. More later when I upload photos.

6:00pm Back to the hotel.
6:04pm More internet anger. Very, very slow connection.
7:00pm Finally download directions to restaurant.
7:30pm Meet Dustin at restaurant.
7:35pm Margarita in hand. All is good.
12:01am Back at hotel.

Had some very good conversations with Dustin. He's living the life.

I was trouble shooting the gadget that the internet comes in on and figured out that by disconnecting the phone from the device, my internet is just fine, which is why you are able to read this now.

A story (ending) for Dustin

Dustin and I were communicating via e-mail when I said that once he became famous, he should consider me for a role in a film as the perverted married guy gym teacher (or something similar.)

He replied:

I was thinking of you more as the lovable Neo-Nazi captain that dies in the final scene amidst a mass of gunfire, explosions and Hooters girls...but I guess your idea could work, too.

So, here is that movie ending:

Capt. Juan VonDyke, crashed to the floor amidst the chicken bones and greasy napkins, landing hard on his empty ammo belt. The torrent stream of lead from the Guttensprigel slammed into the wood table, its glossy epoxy coating, which for years had deflected beer and magic markered napkins, splintered under the punishing accelerated mass of the overheating weapon. His legs had stopped working after the 10th shot of Southern Comfort, but seemed to want to return to duty as he began to pull himself across the floor.

Raine was also on the floor, her tray covering her head. She saw Capt. Juan VonDyke knocked sideways by the explosion and realized for the first time that she was in love with the lovable Neo-Nazi Captain with much love and stuff. Her love was short lived as she was blown to bits by a blowing up type weapon.

Bits of Raine rained down on VonDyke and a chunk of plastic hit him in the eye. With his good eye, he could see the Hooter’s name tag with the word Raine covered in blood. All the weeks he ordered those shitty wings and drank the piss warm, water down draft beer had done to waste. He stood up and screamed.

Deep in his chest, his waxy, grease coated heart broke.