Religious Backlash against saying “Turkey Day” instead of “Thanksgiving”

COLUMBUS, OH (HJ)– Joyce Withers stands outside the Kroger’s grocery store in the 43 degree weather with her three year old grasping on to her leg. The sign Mrs. Withers holds reads, “Thanksgiving: Thanks to Jesus.” Her daughter’s sign, which is lying forgotten against a row of carts reads, “It’s not Turkey Day, Give Thanksgiving to the Lord!”

Mrs. Withers is part of a growing group of religious devotees that believe Thanksgiving is losing its religious focus. “Saying Turkey Day is just as bad as saying X-Mas or Bunny Day. It’s downright evil.” She and hundreds of others plan continued protest today across the United States and California.

As many are aware, the Pilgrims sought religious freedoms when they came to America. Miss Wither’s explains, “The dinner with the Indians was a lot like the Last Supper. Bread was broken in the name of the Lord. Now days we celebrate in a similar way: The Turkey represents God. Jesus is the gravy and the Holy Spirit is the stuffing. I like the Holy Spirit part the best. Especially when it is cooked inside God.”

Mrs. Wither’s plans on protesting through the end of today and into Turkey Day. “We’ll be here through Thursday night and then we go and stand in line at the Wal-Mart so that we can get in on the early morning sales for Christmas.”


Anonymous said...

Love it! Cooked inside God!!! Also, I'm appreciative for the "2 tips to a sexy stomach" on the sidebar.

Jan said...

I like my stuffing cooked inside God's ass. Right now I am about to take God out of the wrapper, open up his leetle legs and fill him with the holy spirit.

God, this is gross.

Thanksgiving is about when the Pilgrims came, made friends with the Indians, scoped out the Indian's real estate, killed the current tenants and took the frig over.

End of story.

As a descendant of native americans (on one side), I call it turkey day and be thankful that I got one for $.28 a lb!

sedgehurst said...

Jesus is always, and will always be, the gravy to a great many people.

Anonymous said...

I seek forgiveness for possibly defiling countless Turkeys with cranberry products.

Anonymous said...

Good day!!! Happy Thanksgiving!. !! :) :)
Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays, and every yr I like to get into the mood-extend the holiday, since it were-by reading "Thanksgiving novels." Unsurprisingly, these stories are mostly about family, about coming together to heal old hurts and showing thanks for the gift of love. . . :
Think You Are Much better Off These days Than You Had been 5 Yrs Ago?

John said...

I shared this on facebook. I love that the text FB chose to go with the headline was "I like my stuffing cooked inside God's ass..."