Guest writer Chris: What Joe Did

{Author's note: In a first for, I'd like to present, guest writer, Chris.}

In early June, Joe vacationed for a week near Clearwater Florida, which is 45 minutes from where Karen and I live. We scheduled an evening for him to stop by our place for dinner while he was here. A few days before his vacation I received a call from Joe “warning” me that he was traveling with a “female friend” and they were purely friends and he did not want to hear any crap from me or Karen.

I agreed and followed my commitment to Joe during his visit. But now his vacation is over. The following are the top observations of Joe and Suzanne that prove they are more than just friends.

11) Joe pulled me aside and asked to borrow my mix tape; “that really good one from college with ‘Lady in Red’ and ‘Tender Love’”, he said.

10) When I asked Joe if he listened to Fugazi anymore, he had this incredulous look and then stated, “Fugazi?”, as if it was so absurd to suggest he ever listened to them.

9) He and Suzanne kept talking about how the Broadway version of “Mama Mia” was so much better than the movie version.

8) When I saw him drinking Corona, I expressed surprise at that, and he said “You know, I always drank Corona in high school and college.”

7) He kept doing ring-around-the-rosie with my kids, and always was looking at Suzanne out of the corners of his eye to see if she was watching. My kids finally pushed him aside and ran to get away.

6) He and Suzanne began to show my kids how to do “patty cake” with their hands. 5 minutes later, my kids walked away as Joe and Suzanne kept doing patty caking without giving my kids 1 second of their attention.

5) When we started talking about how great “Seinfeld” was, he kept telling us how Elaine was his favorite character.

4) When I asked if his mom did anything dumb lately, he said sternly to me, “No! I love my mother.”

3) When we all went for a walk by the woods by my house, he and Suzanne kept stopping simultaneously to do the Macarena for 10 seconds, and then laughed out loud for 10 more seconds after do it. It wasn’t cute or funny the first time.

2) Joe and Suzanne had a 15 minute conversation regarding how they love oyster crackers in their soup.

1) He kept asking us if we wanted to play board games.

{If you would like to guest write for forget it.}

{Author's Note: After cutting and pasting this, I went to iTunes and downloaded Chris de Burgh's ‘Lady in Red’ and Force MD's ‘Tender Love’. Really.}


Doug said...

Force MD..... yeah boooooooooy.

Anonymous said...

To deny ever listening to Fugazi in the basement and drinking 40s of OE is shameful! It must be love, but he'd better realize that the past will catch up with him one of these days.