6 In 1 Sweet Sensations Baking Center Great at Creating Aneurisms

Ann wanted an ice cream maker. When the store didn’t have what we wanted and instant gratification kicked in, I bought her the “Cra-Z-Art 6 In 1 Sweet Sensations Baking Center.”

This colorful plastic contraption contained a mixing station, pouring station and decorating station. It came with cake and cookie mixes. The box did not mention that it would come with a heaping portion of suck ass.

Here is beautiful Ann glowing with the aura of cooking.

The plastic containers that are there for mixing and pouring do nothing but subtract from the amount of final product. The powder and water combine to form a sticky mass and it adheres to every surface it touches. It takes hours to scrape the sticky mass from the mixing area and then they want you to spackle it into the pouring device which does nothing but delay and reduce. It was frustrating to watch as Ann pushed down on the sticky mass only to have it ooze up and out of every crack, like a 95 year old man in a wet suit after one last night of Schlitz and White Castles with whole grain buns. Shit was coming out of everywhere.

What they say the goo dispenser looks like:

Here is an artist rendition of what it should look like on the package:

And here it is in real life:

When I went to do some post-purchase research on this product, I hit up Amazon.com. (You know what post-purchase research is, right? When someone buys the thing that looks good in the store and when it fails at home, they look up what all the other people bitched about and how crappy the product is and then the post-purchaser researcher probably adds their own review for the other post-purchase researchers to read after them.) We had thrown the box away after unpacking it and jamming all the plastic bits together. When I saw the photo on the website of all the "desserts" this product makes, I about crapped a cupcake.

Here is the product photo again:

Now let's take a look at these LIES!!

See this creamy cake mix pouring out?

The only way this cake mix could look this creamy is if you ate it raw and crapped it out six hours later.

See these beautiful cookies? (I'm not sure what the heck the flowers and crap are. They didn't come in the box.)

Here's what the cookies look like when you "bake" them in the microwave (not included):

Yum! We filled several holes in the wall with these spackle cookies.  Oh, and by the way... the little tiny box the refills came is says clearly that a microwave is not included with purchase.  Cheap bastards.


Ass cakes!
You can imagine what it took to get these out of their cups.

This is a great image because of several items:

1. There was enough frosting to cover the top of the cake... maybe. The sides? Never.
2. The frosting was not even close to being this smooth. It had a gritty consistency and it was lumpy.
3. Where the fuck did those flowers come from?
4. That's a nice placement of sprinkles, right?  Wrong!  When you unleash the sprinkles from the decorating station,  the lever releases about 14 tons of sprinkles in one small area of the "cake."  I assume if you got the cake spinning at about 350 prm, the sprinkles might be evenly distributed, but I also assume that the "frosting" flying off would kill small children.

Lastly, I had to include this image:

I love the photoshopped flowers and line of frosting on the top of the cake. There is no way that any of the ingredient or tools included with this kit could create such decoration.

In the end, we made the cakes and cookies that came with the box. We had bought a refill kit just so we wouldn't have to run back to the store. Real smart. Then threw this away. Or we recycled it, whichever you want to believe.

Don't buy this. Get an Easy-Bake Oven and your own sprinkles and frosting and crap.

1 comment:

Christine said...

I almost crapped a cupcake reading this post...freaking hilarious.

But sorry about your crappy purchase...it happens to the best of us!