Tracy really hates me

I didn’t think it was possible that I could create such venom in someone. Sure, I’m an asshole, but assholes are nuisances that hit on your girlfriend or don’t pay you back for lunch. Usually we don’t cause steaming, putrid hate.

Tracy hates me. With vitriol on top.

I saw her at Freckled Jen’s this weekend during the Ohio State game. It had been about four months since I pissed her off last so I thought she might be receptive to a hello. Not so much. Her eyes didn’t meet mine the entire night and she would say things under her breath that I’m sure were not pleasant. It almost seemed like she would stand close to me just to ignore me.

I’m torn between the “I don’t really care” and the “screw her.”

If it was the “I don’t really care,” I wouldn’t be writing this right now. So if I’m being honest, it’s got to be the screw her. Perhaps there is a middle ground. How about “I gave a shit, but now I couldn’t give two shits?”

Oh well. It gives her something to get excited about. Better me that someone else. Maybe she really likes me and can’t do anything about it, so she feels the need to push me away! Oh, that’s good. Hold on…

**** *******

Tracy really loves me

I know someone who has a secret crush on me. And I have a crush on her. It’s Freckled Jen’s friend, Tracy. She and I have been involved in a cat and mouse game for several months, but it has become increasingly hard for us to hide our emotions.

As a cover, we fight in front of everyone. We don’t make eye contact. She says horrible things about me. We avoid each other.

But when we are alone…

Recently, Tracy has had to take it up a notch. At the OSU v Michigan game this weekend, I pretended that I wanted to say hello and be amicable. She acted like she wanted to slit my throat. IT WORKED!

Maybe someday we will be together. Until then, I will be an asshole and protect that secret. I'm sure Tracy will do the same.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Doug, What did you do to piss Tracy off? Just standard Doug behavior? -S

Doug said...

How to piss off Tracy:

Step One: Freckled Jen wanted to leave Skully's without anyone knowing. When Tracy came around, I gave her time to escape and said Jen was in the Bathroom. Tracy later found out I was lying and went ballistic, saying that if Jen died in a car accident, it would be my fault.

Step two: A week later at Jen's birthday party, Tracy confronted me about allowing Jen to leave suggesting that I am personally responsible for someone else's actions. So I balled my hand up into a fist and made my fist talk by moving my thumb up and down. My hand said, "All I hear you say is 'blah blah blah'"

Step three: Be Doug. I can do no right in her eyes. If I saved her dog from a fire, she'd ask where the water bowl was.

I've got nothing against her except that she hates me. Other than that, we are cool.

Anonymous said...

Yup, you got it... she's got a crush on you. who wouldn't?

- f j