HolyJuan

Kid Runner

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I always feel bad when I review a band because my taste in music is so poor that any band that I like is doomed to face the scrutiny of ever...

Band Names from Willie Wonka All Used Up

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HOLLYWOOD (HJ) – With the release of the new pop band Snozberries Taste Like Snozberries ’ debut album, “Lick It”, it has been officially an...
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meme

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How to show up late to work, leave early and get away with it.

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It’s easy to show up late to work and leave early if you follow these simple tips. Clandestine Closet You’ll need to find a closet near th...
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Today I am Feeling: Homestar Runner Edition

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The Mostly All Inclusive Family Restroom Sign

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My good friend, Stephanie, is a graphic designer and created this mostly all inclusive family restroom sign:
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Best Age Verification Website Ever

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Things That Are Gone That I Miss

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The older I get, the more things change and disappear. Some are my fault. Surprisingly  most aren't.  Here's a list of the things I...
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I Swallowed...

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The bacon came out looking very interesting this morning.
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Lock Up the Site

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A few weeks ago, we were at an installation on an active construction site. We had planned on staying long past when many of the constructio...
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Decisions, decisions.

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This is our men's bathroom at work. Guys will understand what a difficult decision this is.

Salad Packaging

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Nothing to see here. Move along, mother.

Urinal sign in The Union at Ohio University

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Lobdo, the Lonely LooLoo Bird

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(Author's Note: Stop reading now. This is an incredibly depressing story that is both heartbreaking and  irreverent. I warned you.) ...

Joe Paterno Statue Melted Down

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Here is a first hand look at the Joe Paterno statue being melted down in the only place where it would be able to be destroyed.
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What Twitter is actually good for

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Talk to any Social Media expert and they’ll expound about all the great things Twitter can do for you. Bullshit. Here are the things that ...

Not for Individual Sale

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The Real Back to the Future, Future Date

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Some people were fooled yesterday into believing that June 27th, 2012 was future date Marty traveled to.  Fortunately I have the real screen...
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Turn down the refrigerator temperature, HAL.

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I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.

How The Frack do I do the Turing Google Doodle?

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How The Frack do I do the Turing Google Doodle? I don't know. And you can't ask Turing because he killed himself because assholes ca...

No Touch Flush

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Another classic COSI bathroom prank.
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A Third Scenario

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I am impressionable.   Almost immediately so.   I have visceral reactions to most everything.   Most commercials get their intended emot...

Clancy's

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I spent a good bit of 1997 and 1998 at a bar called Clancy's. Handsome Joe and I accidentally found it one night in German Village. You ...

Don't ever...

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Don't ever write about writing. No one wants to hear about that.  Even once you have become a successful writer, people don't want t...

Neighborhood Sign Feud

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This photo is from my buddy Chris who lives in the Tampa area. About six weeks ago, three blocks from his house, the sign on the right pop...
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The Rich Man and the Eye of the Needle

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The Bird Cage

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The Bird Cage burnt down.  It was a bar in Prescott, AZ in a place called Whiskey Row. A total loss. But this story begins at an ATM m...

A Question of Odds

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My son is studying for his Ohio 3rd Grade Achievement Assessment test. He brought home this practice test and I'm confused. Take a look...
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The Mountain

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There are three ways to climb The Mountain at night: The Baby Bear Path, The Momma Bear Path and the Papa Bear Path.  The Baby Bear Pa...
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The Mountain (Coming Soon)

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My friend Terry reminded me today that there was a time in my life when a close group of friends would climb Mt. Pleasant (Standing Stone ...

Jesus exits the tomb

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Rabid Egg

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Not Rabbit... rabid.
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Churches Running Out of Clever Sign Slogans

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COLUMBUS, OH - The National League of Churches convened an emergency meeting this past Monday to discuss the scarcity of new, clever church ...
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The Problem with Living on Kitty Drive

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Second sign stolen in two years.

College Pranks

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For a few quarters in college, Nick, Doug and I all lived in the same apartment together.  When we first moved in, we drew straws to see wh...
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The Lumberjack

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It was Handsome Joe that invented The Lumberjack. A few friends met at a bar that was at least two notches higher than my calling, but I w...
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Local Man Discouraged his Ron Paul 2012 Sign Still Hasn't Been Stolen

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Westerville OH (FD) – It has been almost two years to the day since John Laughlin of Westerville, Ohio defensively stuck his Ron Paul for Pr...

The Somewhat Reverse Gift of the Magi

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Sally had something to tell me and she did not want me to be mad. I, too, had something to say to her and I hoped the same. My something...
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Things I Have Learned as a Husband

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Filling a dirty pan with water and letting it soak is not considered washing it. Staying out late is being out until 11:59pm Staying out ...
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Lake Erie to be renamed Lake Ohio

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COLUMBUS, OH (FD)- The Ohio Senate voted unanimously on S.B. 189 this past Thursday to change the name of Lake Erie to Lake Ohio. Senator...
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It begins with a lie and ends with a lie

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I was a late bloomer.  I was a good kid in high school.  I didn't drink until after football season my senior year. I didn't sneak o...

Removing MyWebSearch from Firefox

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If you run Firefox and are trying to remove MyWebSearch, try the following: Delete any "MyWebSeach" extensions under menu TOOLS ...
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