Chops meets Jerry
Michelle had her first run in with celebrity (second if you count me) this past weekend. You can read about it on her website Subway Seat for 3.
I am personally against bothering celebs, but I'm sure Jerry didn't mind the warm, generous touch of the Chop.
I am personally against bothering celebs, but I'm sure Jerry didn't mind the warm, generous touch of the Chop.
Greg Eats: Lemon Head - The Face Puckering Memory of Taste
Sadly, Erik was killed during the last Erik Eats segment, so now I'm being forced to use my son as food taste bait. Today on Greg Eats - Lemon Heads!
This type of Lemon Head is the individually wrapped, gumball sized version. Packed with Sourifiticky.
Not exactly round, but when you are filled with such delicious sour essence, it tries to force itself out of its round cage.
He pops it in his mouth. Maybe it's not so bad...
ARGH! IT'S SOUR!!
He's starting to get used to it...
ANOTHER WAVE OF SOUR HITS!!
The sour has overcome him!
He's down, but not out. His conclusion? Lemon Heads are AWESOME!
This type of Lemon Head is the individually wrapped, gumball sized version. Packed with Sourifiticky.
Not exactly round, but when you are filled with such delicious sour essence, it tries to force itself out of its round cage.
He pops it in his mouth. Maybe it's not so bad...
ARGH! IT'S SOUR!!
He's starting to get used to it...
ANOTHER WAVE OF SOUR HITS!!
The sour has overcome him!
He's down, but not out. His conclusion? Lemon Heads are AWESOME!
Ohio
Ohio is all about waiting: waiting for the first snow and then waiting for it to go away. Waiting for the first hint of spring and then waiting for it to stop raining. Waiting for school to be out and vacation. Waiting for football season. Waiting for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Waiting for the ball to drop and waiting to wait. But I like it.
Ohio has four distinct seasons. In between each of those seasons are two perfect days. You almost don’t notice them because they are so pleasant. You have to look over your shoulder to realize they were there. I look out for them and I wait.
Most people who move to Ohio become acclimated pretty quickly. They might miss their brand of coffee or their bakery or deli. But they fall into line and march in step with the rest of us. People that leave Ohio never really do. You carry the Midwest in your back pocket along with your manners and self esteem. You can see them in the subway making eye contact and you can hear them in line at the grocery saying, “Thanks!”
I don’t think I’m leaving here anytime soon. More than likely, you’ll be coming here. We’ll show you around and buy you a cup of so-so coffee. You’ll find yourself wishing you had brought your jacket to the high school football game, but not needing it by the end of the night. You’ll find people waving at you for no reason and realize it was because you waved first. You’ll put down mulch and actually fertilize the roses. You’ll notice that the second lowest branch on the tree would be perfect for a swing and in fact there are two parallel scars in the bark where someone had that same idea fifteen years ago.
Ohio’s not perfect, but it’s good. And that’s perfect.
Ohio has four distinct seasons. In between each of those seasons are two perfect days. You almost don’t notice them because they are so pleasant. You have to look over your shoulder to realize they were there. I look out for them and I wait.
Most people who move to Ohio become acclimated pretty quickly. They might miss their brand of coffee or their bakery or deli. But they fall into line and march in step with the rest of us. People that leave Ohio never really do. You carry the Midwest in your back pocket along with your manners and self esteem. You can see them in the subway making eye contact and you can hear them in line at the grocery saying, “Thanks!”
I don’t think I’m leaving here anytime soon. More than likely, you’ll be coming here. We’ll show you around and buy you a cup of so-so coffee. You’ll find yourself wishing you had brought your jacket to the high school football game, but not needing it by the end of the night. You’ll find people waving at you for no reason and realize it was because you waved first. You’ll put down mulch and actually fertilize the roses. You’ll notice that the second lowest branch on the tree would be perfect for a swing and in fact there are two parallel scars in the bark where someone had that same idea fifteen years ago.
Ohio’s not perfect, but it’s good. And that’s perfect.
Police Called in on Search after Facebook Friend Goes Missing
COLUMBUS- Columbus Police were called into to assist with finding a woman reported missing early Friday afternoon from a local man’s Facebook page. Currently the police have no leads.
Luke Lester called police after he realized the woman was missing from his friends list. “I had recently found a girl from my high school and “added” her to my friends. I was in the process of sending her a drink and a link to my blog and she was gone.” Lester had found the girl using a tool on the site that helps locate people you might know. His request was accepted and he began endlessly commenting on her status and plying her with virtual drinks. “We were getting along great right before she disappeared. I hadn’t actually spoken with her, but she was accepting my virtual plants and invitation to guess what 80’s rock band she was. I was just about to send her a margarita because I saw her wearing a Hawaiian shirt in one of her photos.” Lester was unable to find her in his list of friends and after searching on his own for a few minutes, decided he should call for help. “It was like she was deleted from my life.”
Police report that the search has been difficult because Lester seems to be blocked from looking at the woman’s profile. “It’s almost like she trying to stay missing.”
Luke Lester called police after he realized the woman was missing from his friends list. “I had recently found a girl from my high school and “added” her to my friends. I was in the process of sending her a drink and a link to my blog and she was gone.” Lester had found the girl using a tool on the site that helps locate people you might know. His request was accepted and he began endlessly commenting on her status and plying her with virtual drinks. “We were getting along great right before she disappeared. I hadn’t actually spoken with her, but she was accepting my virtual plants and invitation to guess what 80’s rock band she was. I was just about to send her a margarita because I saw her wearing a Hawaiian shirt in one of her photos.” Lester was unable to find her in his list of friends and after searching on his own for a few minutes, decided he should call for help. “It was like she was deleted from my life.”
Police report that the search has been difficult because Lester seems to be blocked from looking at the woman’s profile. “It’s almost like she trying to stay missing.”
25 Random Things About Me Help
You may be familiar with the Facebook / e-mail going around that asks for you to list 25 random things about yourself that people might not know. This item is very popular, but many people have not completed the list because they can only think of 22 or 23 things about themselves. If you find yourself in this predicament, feel free to use one of the following to top off your list.
- Ate 34 White Castles at one sitting and subsequently did not date for three years.
- Loved the Marathon Bar (with the ruler on the back) and still have a ½ eaten one under my bed
- Killed a man in a fight, but we made up afterwards
- I’ve eaten bear, rabbit, turtle and something that might have been tofu.
- I have never failed a lie detector test.
- I was kicked out of the Secret Service for having sex with a chicken.
- Three time Mid-Ohio AA Checkers Champion (freestyle)
- Like oatmeal, hate porridge, no comment on grits
- Lost my virginity for the thirteenth time at the new B-Hamptons on the stamped metal dance floor
- Made my bed once back in 1994 and haven’t looked back.
- Brew my own Schlitz Malt Liquor
- I can beat you at 80’dance and 90’s glam
- Favorite board game - Sorry; favorite thing to say after sex – Sorry
- Need the Gandalf, Lord of the Rings, Burger King Glass Goblet to complete the set
- Own two reversible bras
- I’m afraid of drive-thrus
- I count my printer paper to ensure all 500 sheets are there. Once I found an extra sheet and sent it back to the company.
- Can’t figure out how to load music on my iPod, so I walk around pretending like I listen to music
- Recently learned that the cardboard tube is NOT the last sheet of toilet paper.
- I drive like I own a standard, but only have an automatic. The guys at car repair shop know my credit card number by heart.
- I have had an erection for the past 18 years.
- I have never met a man I could best in nude, hands tied behind your back wrestling.
- I have an irrational fear of fractions
- I think white out is racist
- My glass is half full. Then shits starts to evaporate and I get pessimistic.
- I can’t forget.
- Ate 34 White Castles at one sitting and subsequently did not date for three years.
- Loved the Marathon Bar (with the ruler on the back) and still have a ½ eaten one under my bed
- Killed a man in a fight, but we made up afterwards
- I’ve eaten bear, rabbit, turtle and something that might have been tofu.
- I have never failed a lie detector test.
- I was kicked out of the Secret Service for having sex with a chicken.
- Three time Mid-Ohio AA Checkers Champion (freestyle)
- Like oatmeal, hate porridge, no comment on grits
- Lost my virginity for the thirteenth time at the new B-Hamptons on the stamped metal dance floor
- Made my bed once back in 1994 and haven’t looked back.
- Brew my own Schlitz Malt Liquor
- I can beat you at 80’dance and 90’s glam
- Favorite board game - Sorry; favorite thing to say after sex – Sorry
- Need the Gandalf, Lord of the Rings, Burger King Glass Goblet to complete the set
- Own two reversible bras
- I’m afraid of drive-thrus
- I count my printer paper to ensure all 500 sheets are there. Once I found an extra sheet and sent it back to the company.
- Can’t figure out how to load music on my iPod, so I walk around pretending like I listen to music
- Recently learned that the cardboard tube is NOT the last sheet of toilet paper.
- I drive like I own a standard, but only have an automatic. The guys at car repair shop know my credit card number by heart.
- I have had an erection for the past 18 years.
- I have never met a man I could best in nude, hands tied behind your back wrestling.
- I have an irrational fear of fractions
- I think white out is racist
- My glass is half full. Then shits starts to evaporate and I get pessimistic.
- I can’t forget.
Goodbye Zima
By now you have probably figured out that I am very, very fem. If you didn't recognize that through the haze of manliness that I exude, listen to this:
I like Zima. I like Zima and I like to put fruit in Zima. I like Zima because it tastes fruity and sparkley and I'm sure that when unicorns cry, they cry Zima tears.
I recently cried when I found out that the unicorns had ceased to produce tears and therefore Zima had halted production. My sister also loves Zima so I called her immediately. The phone didn't even ring once because she had picked it up right as I dialed the last number, feeling a ripple in the force. She asked me, "Did someone in the family die?" I said, "No, it's worse," and I told her and she didn't say anything for a little bit before hanging up.
The next day Amy must have gone around punching and stabbing unicorns because she sent me this photo:
She had traveled in the four state region, collecting Zima from High School parties and under the beds of shamed fraternity brothers. Her collection is not large and someday she will drink the Last Zima. I hope I am there to witness.
I like Zima. I like Zima and I like to put fruit in Zima. I like Zima because it tastes fruity and sparkley and I'm sure that when unicorns cry, they cry Zima tears.
I recently cried when I found out that the unicorns had ceased to produce tears and therefore Zima had halted production. My sister also loves Zima so I called her immediately. The phone didn't even ring once because she had picked it up right as I dialed the last number, feeling a ripple in the force. She asked me, "Did someone in the family die?" I said, "No, it's worse," and I told her and she didn't say anything for a little bit before hanging up.
The next day Amy must have gone around punching and stabbing unicorns because she sent me this photo:
She had traveled in the four state region, collecting Zima from High School parties and under the beds of shamed fraternity brothers. Her collection is not large and someday she will drink the Last Zima. I hope I am there to witness.
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