Answers to "Can you find seven things wrong"

Thank you to everyone who provided e-mails and comments concerning "The Seven Things Wrong" in the Dave photo.

As a reminder, here was the photo from a few days ago:


And here are the correct answers:


1. No fucking way any Briley went to Harvard. Unless it was to steal a mug.

2. VCR is not BETA. BETA is the official format of Maine.

3. Christmas tree was not previously used.

4. TV is black. All TVs in Maine are Black and White. Partial credit for "no gay porn playing."

5. Dave is wearing pants while decorating. No credit for "huge cock."

6. WWGWBD-OTRNTMF - What Would George W Bush Do- Oh That's Right Nuke The Mother Fuckers bracelet missing.

7. No lobster lobstah.

Thanks for playing! Let me know how wrong I was with these answers.

Local Man finds Unique Quarter

WESTERVILLE OH- David Ribley thought all he got was 35 cents in change at the gas station. Upon a closer look, he realized that he had received an unusual quarter. "I've been a collector for 14 years and haven't seen anything this amazing before. I'm not sure how this made it past the mint's quality control." Mr. Ribley allowed us to photograph the coin to share with our readers. As you can see the quarter on the left is normal. The quarter on the right has been stamped upside down.

Mr. Ribley currently has no plans to sell the coin. "I call it the Upside Down George. For now I'm gonna keep it. This is too valuable to put a price on." When asked what he might sell it for he replied, "At least a hundo. Maybe two."

Twitter Challenge from maggiebaxter

Bailout Money Found: Living Under St. Louis Overpass

ST. LOUIS, MO – Show me the money! The people of the United States outcry for fiscal responsibility has reached the breaking point and Washington is attempting to track down where the Troubled Assets Relief Program (TARP) money has gone. Looking west, they found some of it. Congressional Auditors located a portion of the 700 Billion dollars financial bailout money living under a dank, I-70 overpass east of St. Louis.

The money, dirty and disheveled, looked to have been there for about three weeks. There were urine stained bill wrappers and broken rubber bands cluttering the ground. Some of the bills had been folded down the middle for use at a Gentleman’s Club. There was an overriding odor of MD 20/20 and pennies. The money was unwilling to leave the overpass and unresponsive to our reporter's questions.

Back in Washington, we attempted to question several of the major banking institutions. Bank of America’s representative was unrepentive, “Do you know how much money goes in and out of our doors everyday? We can’t be expected to keep track of all of it.” When we described condition of the found money, Bank of America smirked and said that sounded a lot like Wells Fargo’s kind of stash.

Wells Fargo said it can't provide any details about any mishandled funds until it releases its fourth quarter statement, though the bank said it intends to check into the found money and what nudie bars the money might have patronized. J.P. Morgan Chase’s representative was unavailable while doing his own research off-shore.

The FBI has been aware of the found money and has put out a poster in the hopes of attracting some attention and developing some leads.


As for the bailout money found under the overpass, other destitute also living there said that the money has since moved on and was last seen hitchhiking south on Interstate 55.

The Difference Between Santa Claus and a Pedophile

The $10,000,000 Mayan Calendar Bet

The Mayan calendar ends on December 21st, 2012. There are many who claim that the world will end on that December 21st or the next business day.

I am here to make a wager with these so called apocalyptic soothsayers. If you are willing to stand behind your foresight or stand in front of your hind-sight, I will make the following bet with you:

If the world does not end on December 21st, 2012 (or the following business day), you will owe me $1 (one American dollar.)

If the world does end on December 21st, 2021 (or the following business day), I will pay you $10,000,000 (ten million American dollars.)

The following are acceptable apocalypses:

• Disease/Plague that wipes out 99.9% of the population
• Solar Winds that rape the Earth of its atmosphere and turn us into mutants
• Nuclear Winter population extinction (extended cold period caused by nuclear bombs)
• Nucular Winter population extinction (Nuclear Winter caused by George Bush)
• Biblical Proportion of Something
• Flood (no ark allowed)
• Impact event
• Shit Tornado (well worth the ten million my friend)
• Multi-Volcanic eruption
• Alien Invasion (enslavement will cancel the bet)
• Zombies

If you would like to take this bet, please contact me at holyjuan@gmail.com.

Things one can have while in college (revised)

I saw a chart on line that needed edited to conform to my reality.

Morning chat with Dave

Dave is in Maine. Even though they DO have phones there, it takes him so long to spin the rotary dial that we just chat on-line instead. Here was our conversation this morning. (Please don't tell Miss Sally about her gift. Or the other parts of this.)

8:48 AM - SMILEY: so are you wrapping gifts today or are you superdad?
8:48 AM - HOLYJUAN: neither
8:49 AM - HOLYJUAN: well, I could wrap sallys gift (ipod)
8:49 AM - SMILEY: nice...nano, shuffle, or old school
8:49 AM - HOLYJUAN: Nano, 8G
8:49 AM - SMILEY: color?
8:49 AM - HOLYJUAN: green
8:50 AM - SMILEY: cool...she'll love it.
8:50 AM - HOLYJUAN: I stole it from a 13 year old
8:50 AM - SMILEY: Antona gets a carton of smokes and a scarf this year
8:50 AM - HOLYJUAN: Can you get filtered? That heavy smoke bothers my eyes after sex.
8:51 AM - SMILEY: Merry Christmas
8:51 AM - HOLYJUAN: And a scarf that doesn’t knot so tightly
8:51 AM - HOLYJUAN: Doesn't knot? Is that a double negative?
8:52 AM - SMILEY: I'll see about the scarf...

Eric Hutchinson

Over Thanksgiving, Sally’s brother took us to see Eric Hutchinson at the Beachland Ballroom in Cleveland.

It was an awesome show.

Eric Hutchinson is a cool cat. A younger dude with two other guys in the band. He splits his time between the keyboard, guitar and cracking wise. His music is soul and a hint of pop. I would say he’s like Jack Johnson right after getting dumped and then punched in the head by Stevie Wonder, but I’m horrible with comparisons.

After the show, we were hanging out in the back bar. Eric stuck around and was hanging out with some of the locals. Somehow a cake appeared. I’m not sure if the bar got it for Eric or if Eric has cake in his rider. Either way, he offered us a piece. Cool cat.

Check out Eric at http://erichutchinson.com

Do me a favor and vote for him over at Yahoo for performer of the month.
http://music.yahoo.com/promo-29644410

Two Cool States

There are only two states that have not recorded a high temperature past the 100 degree Fahrenheit mark. One is easy to guess, the other not so much.

Alaska, of course.

Any guesses? (I guessed Maine and was wrong.) Before I reveal the answer, here is the chart on the highest temperatures recorded by state.

State high temperature records
State Temp Date
Alabama..........112 ..........Sept. 5, 1925
Alaska ..........100 ..........June 27, 1915
Arizona ..........128 .......... June 29, 1994
Arkansas ..........120 ..........Aug. 10, 1936
California ..........134 ..........July 10, 1913
Colorado ..........118 ..........July 11, 1888
Connecticut ..........106 ..........July 15, 1995
Delaware ..........110 ..........July 21, 1930
Florida ..........109 ..........June 29, 1931
Georgia ..........112 ..........July 24, 1952
Hawaii ..........100 ..........April 27,1931
Idaho ..........118 ..........July 28, 1934
Illinois ..........117 ..........July 14, 1954
Indiana ..........116.......... July 14, 1936
Iowa ..........118 ..........July 20, 1934
Kansas ..........121 ..........July 24, 1936
Kentucky ..........114 ..........July 28, 1930
Louisiana ..........114 ..........Aug. 10, 1936
Maine ..........105 ..........July 10, 1911
Maryland ..........109 ..........July 10, 1936
Massachusetts ..........107 ..........Aug. 2, 1975
Michigan ..........112 ..........July 13, 1936
Minnesota ..........114 ..........July 6, 1936
Mississippi ..........115 ..........July 29, 1930
Missouri ..........118 ..........July 14, 1954
Montana ..........117 ..........July 5, 1937
Nebraska ..........118 ..........July 24, 1936
Nevada ..........125 ..........June 29, 1994
New Hampshire ..........106 ..........July 4, 1911
New Jersey ..........110 ..........July 10, 1936
New Mexico ..........122 ..........June 27, 1994
New York ..........108 ..........July 22, 1926
North Carolina ..........110 ..........Aug. 21, 1983
North Dakota ..........121 ..........July 6, 1936
Ohio ..........113 ..........July 21, 1934
Oklahoma ..........120 ..........June 27, 1994
Oregon ..........119 ..........Aug. 10, 1898
Pennsylvania ..........111 ..........July 10, 1936
Rhode Island ..........104 ..........Aug. 2, 1975
South Carolina ..........111 ..........June 28, 1954
South Dakota ..........120 ..........July 15, 2006
Tennessee ..........113 ..........Aug. 9, 1930
Texas ..........120 ..........Aug. 12, 1936
Utah ..........117 ..........July 5, 1985
Vermont ..........105 ..........July 4, 1911
Virginia ..........110 ..........July 15, 1954
Washington ..........118 ..........Aug. 5, 1961
West Virginia ..........112 ..........July 10, 1936
Wisconsin ..........114 ..........July 13, 1936
Wyoming ..........116 ..........Aug. 8, 1983

That’s right! Alaska and Hawaii.

Hawaii is surrounded by the Pacific Ocean and cooling ocean breezes are enough to keep it from reaching the higher temperatures.

Source: U.S. National Climatic Data Center (last updated August 2006)