Free to HolyJuan fans! The Power of Soup
Two years ago, I thought that I should write a children’s book, get published and make a shitload of money. So I got together with my illustrator friend Meshell and she showed me her portfolio for inspiration. In her large collection of drawings was an illustration that caught my eye. A woman with a large spoon tucked in her apron. She hugged a large bowl of soup with the words, “Get well soon” floating on the surface.
So I wrote a story based on that illustration called, “The Power of Soup.” My biggest critic, Miss Sally, liked it. I shared it with Meshell and she liked it and said that, if I asked her nicely, she would illustrate the rest of it. I said I would give her the first opportunity, once I secured a publisher.
Together, Meshell and I bought “How to Get Published” books and I sent my properly formatted copies of “The Power of Soup” out to several publishers. I even bought the website, www.thepowerofsoup.com, just to be sure.
Six rejection form letters later, I’m done with the half-dream. Instead, let me share it with you, the people who care for and love me.
So here, my friends, is my story, The Power of Soup. See if you tear up when you read it, like I did when I wrote it.
The Power of Soup
In a very small house with two very small windows, lived a woman. She lived alone, but she was never lonely.
If you were to look through the very small windows, you would see a very small bed, a very small chair, a very small table, a very small lamp, a very small painting and a very big stove.
The woman loved to cook. She had a very big kettle to sit on the very big stove. She had a very big spoon to stir whatever was in the very big kettle. The woman could cook about anything, but she especially loved to cook soup.
Pea soup, bean soup, potato soup, vegetable soup, rhubarb and turnip soup, dandelion soup, and her very special soup which she called Soup Soup.
People would come from the villages near and far to the woman’s house and bring whatever ingredients they had so that she could make her delicious soup for them.
Miss Dryer came to the woman’s door, “I have carrots.”
“Then we will make carrot soup.”
Mr. Hearty came to the door. “I have potatoes.”
“Then we will make potato soup.”
The Simon twins came to the door, “We have turnips and leeks.”
“Then we will make turnip and leek soup.”
Somehow, though only one or two ingredients were added, the woman was able to stir and stir and stir and stir and soon that one ingredient would taste like many!
Everyone loved the woman’s soup.
One day, a little dark haired girl with sad eyes came to the woman’s door. She wore handmade clothes that were more patches than cloth.
“Can you please make me some soup?”
“What have you brought with you to make the soup?” asked the woman, knowing the answer.
“I have nothing. My mother is sick and father is away in the city. I have nothing to make soup.”
The woman said, “Come inside. I think you have something to add to the soup.”
The woman added water to the very large kettle. She lit the very big stove and began to stir.
“Now, little girl, you have nothing in your hands and you have nothing in your pockets, but you have something in your heart. All you need is to speak to the soup and tell it what your heart is saying.”
The little girl stood on a little chair and was just able to look over the edge of the kettle.
She spoke in but a whisper, “I love you Mommy. Get well soon.”
The woman then began to stir and stir and stir and stir.
And as she stirred and stirred the soup began to churn and bubble. Broth began to form and carrots and peas and beans and leeks and hundreds of herbs and vegetables and flavors mixed and melded in the pot. With a final stir, letters formed of pasta bubbled to the surface.
First…
“I love you Mommy.”
…and they sank. Then…
“Get well soon.”
As the sun began to dip in the afternoon and create its own colorful soup in the sky, shadows of a smaller person and a bigger person together carried a very big kettle towards the village.
The next morning, the woman arrived back to her very small house with two very small windows. She carried with her a much emptier pot, a small bouquet of flowers and a very big smile.
As she walked in the door she said to herself, "I think I'll make some soup today."
So I wrote a story based on that illustration called, “The Power of Soup.” My biggest critic, Miss Sally, liked it. I shared it with Meshell and she liked it and said that, if I asked her nicely, she would illustrate the rest of it. I said I would give her the first opportunity, once I secured a publisher.
Together, Meshell and I bought “How to Get Published” books and I sent my properly formatted copies of “The Power of Soup” out to several publishers. I even bought the website, www.thepowerofsoup.com, just to be sure.
Six rejection form letters later, I’m done with the half-dream. Instead, let me share it with you, the people who care for and love me.
So here, my friends, is my story, The Power of Soup. See if you tear up when you read it, like I did when I wrote it.
The Power of Soup
In a very small house with two very small windows, lived a woman. She lived alone, but she was never lonely.
If you were to look through the very small windows, you would see a very small bed, a very small chair, a very small table, a very small lamp, a very small painting and a very big stove.
The woman loved to cook. She had a very big kettle to sit on the very big stove. She had a very big spoon to stir whatever was in the very big kettle. The woman could cook about anything, but she especially loved to cook soup.
Pea soup, bean soup, potato soup, vegetable soup, rhubarb and turnip soup, dandelion soup, and her very special soup which she called Soup Soup.
People would come from the villages near and far to the woman’s house and bring whatever ingredients they had so that she could make her delicious soup for them.
Miss Dryer came to the woman’s door, “I have carrots.”
“Then we will make carrot soup.”
Mr. Hearty came to the door. “I have potatoes.”
“Then we will make potato soup.”
The Simon twins came to the door, “We have turnips and leeks.”
“Then we will make turnip and leek soup.”
Somehow, though only one or two ingredients were added, the woman was able to stir and stir and stir and stir and soon that one ingredient would taste like many!
Everyone loved the woman’s soup.
One day, a little dark haired girl with sad eyes came to the woman’s door. She wore handmade clothes that were more patches than cloth.
“Can you please make me some soup?”
“What have you brought with you to make the soup?” asked the woman, knowing the answer.
“I have nothing. My mother is sick and father is away in the city. I have nothing to make soup.”
The woman said, “Come inside. I think you have something to add to the soup.”
The woman added water to the very large kettle. She lit the very big stove and began to stir.
“Now, little girl, you have nothing in your hands and you have nothing in your pockets, but you have something in your heart. All you need is to speak to the soup and tell it what your heart is saying.”
The little girl stood on a little chair and was just able to look over the edge of the kettle.
She spoke in but a whisper, “I love you Mommy. Get well soon.”
The woman then began to stir and stir and stir and stir.
And as she stirred and stirred the soup began to churn and bubble. Broth began to form and carrots and peas and beans and leeks and hundreds of herbs and vegetables and flavors mixed and melded in the pot. With a final stir, letters formed of pasta bubbled to the surface.
First…
“I love you Mommy.”
…and they sank. Then…
“Get well soon.”
As the sun began to dip in the afternoon and create its own colorful soup in the sky, shadows of a smaller person and a bigger person together carried a very big kettle towards the village.
The next morning, the woman arrived back to her very small house with two very small windows. She carried with her a much emptier pot, a small bouquet of flowers and a very big smile.
As she walked in the door she said to herself, "I think I'll make some soup today."
Happy Birthday Daddy
Greg made me a birthday card last week.
The top picture is a Star Wars guy and the bottom one is Aang from The Avatar (an animated series on Nickelodeon.)
We sometimes talk about which characters we would like to be in real life (I always say King Boomy.) I like that Greg always changes his mind from one character to the next.
What's really great is that Greg realizes that Star Wars and Avatar are the really important things in life.
The top picture is a Star Wars guy and the bottom one is Aang from The Avatar (an animated series on Nickelodeon.)
We sometimes talk about which characters we would like to be in real life (I always say King Boomy.) I like that Greg always changes his mind from one character to the next.
What's really great is that Greg realizes that Star Wars and Avatar are the really important things in life.
NASA's Mars Phoenix Lander finds signs of past civilization
The NASA's Mars Phoenix Lander made a safe touchdown on the surface of Mars yesterday and started sending back photos soon after. I wanted to be the first scientist* to examine the photo for signs of alien life.
Here is the landscape:
These photos show us that Martians:
a: collected water
b: valued public television
c: used the Imperial System of Units to measure Bigfoot tracks
*Took Chemistry in HS
Here is the landscape:
NASA/JPL-Caltech/University of Arizona
And here is an untouched photo with high resolution zoom-ins on the found objects.
These photos show us that Martians:
a: collected water
b: valued public television
c: used the Imperial System of Units to measure Bigfoot tracks
*Took Chemistry in HS
Dave Amadio - Saving Rome
Dave Amadio has just released his newest album "Saving Rome." You can check out his MySpace page, listen to some of the tracks off the new album and see all the hot chicks that worship him.
Here's the video to "Holiday" from YouTube.
I'm not usually one to swoon, but Dave is very hot and I am dumping Miss Sally to follow him on tour. At worst, I'll get the leftovers from the trail of broken hearts he leaves around the country. At best, maybe he'll let me iron his t-shirts and allow me pick out my favorite pair of jeans that he will wear on stage and sweat into.
Here's the video to "Holiday" from YouTube.
I'm not usually one to swoon, but Dave is very hot and I am dumping Miss Sally to follow him on tour. At worst, I'll get the leftovers from the trail of broken hearts he leaves around the country. At best, maybe he'll let me iron his t-shirts and allow me pick out my favorite pair of jeans that he will wear on stage and sweat into.
Screw you, Steven Spielberg
{Editor's Note: Spoilers ahead. Even though they are transparent in the script, I do talk about them. You have two choices: don't see the movie or don't see the movie.)
I just got home from watching a two hour train wreck of a movie called “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.”
I went in with low expectations, just so that I could leave with a little bit of happiness. I set my low expectations way too high.
I almost walked out. Twice. But I had to wait and see if this malignant tumor of a film might suddenly go into remission. Instead it metastasized and the projector in the next theater over melted.
The level of disbelief suspension necessary to even begin to digest this film is incalculable. From the four minute mark in, the movie is virtually unwatchable. The script is forced. The plot was as transparent as the crystal alien skull. Every other Indy line tries to be funny and clever, but falls flat. Oh yeah, there is no kingdom.
The worst part about all this is that I am being forced to remember the film so that I can write about it. Instead, I am going to stop writing about it here and drop a few f-bombs:
Spielberg – you f'ing suck
Screenwriter Koepp – f-you, dick
Lucas- I’m not sure what you had to do with this film, but f-you, too.
I will end with this- As the credits began to roll, Chris, John and I had these comments to each other:
"To show the blooper reel at the end of the film, all they would need to do is show the film again."
"Aliens, why’d it have to be aliens."
"It was so bad that my popcorn oil curdled half way through the film."
"I saw “Alan Smithee” in the credits 47 times."
"The script was so bad that Sean Connery turned it down to do a remake of Highlander 2."
"At least they were able to reuse the models from Independence Day."
"This movie made “Temple of Doom” look like Schindler's List."
I just got home from watching a two hour train wreck of a movie called “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.”
I went in with low expectations, just so that I could leave with a little bit of happiness. I set my low expectations way too high.
I almost walked out. Twice. But I had to wait and see if this malignant tumor of a film might suddenly go into remission. Instead it metastasized and the projector in the next theater over melted.
The level of disbelief suspension necessary to even begin to digest this film is incalculable. From the four minute mark in, the movie is virtually unwatchable. The script is forced. The plot was as transparent as the crystal alien skull. Every other Indy line tries to be funny and clever, but falls flat. Oh yeah, there is no kingdom.
The worst part about all this is that I am being forced to remember the film so that I can write about it. Instead, I am going to stop writing about it here and drop a few f-bombs:
Spielberg – you f'ing suck
Screenwriter Koepp – f-you, dick
Lucas- I’m not sure what you had to do with this film, but f-you, too.
I will end with this- As the credits began to roll, Chris, John and I had these comments to each other:
"To show the blooper reel at the end of the film, all they would need to do is show the film again."
"Aliens, why’d it have to be aliens."
"It was so bad that my popcorn oil curdled half way through the film."
"I saw “Alan Smithee” in the credits 47 times."
"The script was so bad that Sean Connery turned it down to do a remake of Highlander 2."
"At least they were able to reuse the models from Independence Day."
"This movie made “Temple of Doom” look like Schindler's List."
The Hot Damn - CD release
I'm no critic, though I can tell you more things I hate more than the things I like.
For example:
I hate most people.
I hate people who don't know how to check out at the grocery store self-checkout
I hate Highlander 2.
I hate that they are going to re-make the original Highlander.
I like the band The Hot Damn
The Hot Damn are having a CD release party, Friday May 30th, at The House of Crave with a couple other bands. It's $5 to get in.
What I would like you to think of this as is a Meet HolyJuan event with music by The Hot Damn. I will be giving out personalized business cards with specks of free DNA. Cute girls can request additional DNA.
I'll be wearing a Homestar Runner t-shirt. See you there.
The Line-up:
Exceptional Edward
This is my Suitcase
The Hot Damn
Yummy Fight
Release on Merit Badge Records
For example:
I hate most people.
I hate people who don't know how to check out at the grocery store self-checkout
I hate Highlander 2.
I hate that they are going to re-make the original Highlander.
I like the band The Hot Damn
The Hot Damn are having a CD release party, Friday May 30th, at The House of Crave with a couple other bands. It's $5 to get in.
What I would like you to think of this as is a Meet HolyJuan event with music by The Hot Damn. I will be giving out personalized business cards with specks of free DNA. Cute girls can request additional DNA.
I'll be wearing a Homestar Runner t-shirt. See you there.
The Line-up:
Exceptional Edward
This is my Suitcase
The Hot Damn
Yummy Fight
Release on Merit Badge Records
A question for Senator Clinton
Will somebody please pose this question to Senator Clinton: In the general election versus McCain, if she were to win more Electoral College votes, but McCain were to win more popular votes, would she hand over the Presidency to McCain?
I believe that it is Senator Clinton's right to continue campaigning through the end of the process. I think it is in her best interest to do so to gain something from her failed campaign, though to save face she is beating down the Democratic Party.
But what I cannot stand is the constant change in her campaign's logic as to what constitutes a "win" as if changing the parameters will somehow gain her the nomination. Her most recent argument is for popular vote. It is possible that if all the votes from Florida and Michigan are counted and if some screwy method of figuring out how many caucus votes were cast are tabulated, that Clinton could end this process with more popular votes than Obama.
Again I pose the question: If towards the end of the General Election Hillary has more Electoral College votes, but McCain has more popular votes (just like Bush/Gore in 2000,) would Clinton be okey-dokey with changing the pre-existing rules of the election so that the people's voice could be heard and counted and thus hand the Presidency over to McCain?
According to her logic, yes. And I think that is just mind numbingly idiotic.
I believe that it is Senator Clinton's right to continue campaigning through the end of the process. I think it is in her best interest to do so to gain something from her failed campaign, though to save face she is beating down the Democratic Party.
But what I cannot stand is the constant change in her campaign's logic as to what constitutes a "win" as if changing the parameters will somehow gain her the nomination. Her most recent argument is for popular vote. It is possible that if all the votes from Florida and Michigan are counted and if some screwy method of figuring out how many caucus votes were cast are tabulated, that Clinton could end this process with more popular votes than Obama.
Again I pose the question: If towards the end of the General Election Hillary has more Electoral College votes, but McCain has more popular votes (just like Bush/Gore in 2000,) would Clinton be okey-dokey with changing the pre-existing rules of the election so that the people's voice could be heard and counted and thus hand the Presidency over to McCain?
According to her logic, yes. And I think that is just mind numbingly idiotic.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)