Here is a shot from a Chinese job fair from a few days ago.
Limeade
Once again, Greg came up with a great, off-season idea yesterday. He wanted to make lemonade. He seemed excited about the prospect so I told him that I would buy lemons at the store next time I was there.
I lied. I bought limes instead.
Erik and Becky came over last night with their kids and I had bought Corona. The store did not have individual limes, so I bought a whole bag because limeade is lemonade, but green.
Tonight, we cut two limes into quarters and squeezed them into a bowl. I added a teaspoon of Splenda, a few ounces of water and dumped the whole lot into a shaker filled with ice (great Christmas gift.)
Here is Greg's reaction:
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Here is mine:
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We added two more teaspoons of Splenda and re-mixed. It was delicious.
I lied. I bought limes instead.
Erik and Becky came over last night with their kids and I had bought Corona. The store did not have individual limes, so I bought a whole bag because limeade is lemonade, but green.
Tonight, we cut two limes into quarters and squeezed them into a bowl. I added a teaspoon of Splenda, a few ounces of water and dumped the whole lot into a shaker filled with ice (great Christmas gift.)
Here is Greg's reaction:
.jpg)
Here is mine:
.jpg)
We added two more teaspoons of Splenda and re-mixed. It was delicious.
I own my ex-employer’s domain name. What should I do with it? (updated)
I got laid off a few weeks ago. Work was slow. The company has been going through some tough times. I was actually happy to leave.
A year or so ago, when I still had a job, I mentioned to my boss that our company should buy its “actual” domain name. The company is Allstate Installations, but their web site domain name is allstateinstall.com. I suggested they buy allstateinstallations.com because that is what anyone in their right mind would search for / type in the address bar when looking for our company. He thought that was a great idea and would think about it. I sent him reminder e-mails. I talked to him again in person. Nothing came of it.
So I bought it myself and politely forwarded the traffic to the company’s webpage.
Now they have laid me off and I’m wondering what I should do with the domain. Here are a few ideas with their associated scores. Please let me know if you have any better ideas.
Hand the domain over to my company
This is the right thing to do. It’s also the most boring.
Score: D
Forward to Goat/se.cx
Too easy. Too predictable. But disgustingly funny.
Score: C
Forward to a competitor's website
Allstate Installations has several competitors. This would be a real F-U to the old boss.
Score: B-
Forward to porn
Another obvious idea, but the real detail is in what porn site you choose.
Score: (site / score)
playboy(dot)com / D+
beastality(dot)com / A
hugeblackcocks(dot)com / B+
fistinglessons(dot)net / B
clownporn(dot)net/ A++
Forward to a photo site with photoshopped pictures of boss in compromising positions
This is a great idea, but the only photos I have of him are of him in compromising positions and most of those photos are copyrighted.
Score: C
Let the domain to expire and allow anyone reading this to buy it and do what they please
This is the only real democratic option.
Score: A
{Author's note: One I did not think of was "Sell it to anyone that will buy it." I have received a few bids. All for way more than the site is worth. Right now the bidding is at $950. Step right up!! Let's see what my soul is worth.
Score: $$}
{Author's note 2: As many of you have suggested, I am a douche. But not that kind of douche. I am in the process of transferring the domain over, free of charge. My old boss and co-workers received several e-mails from strangers warning of this post and my possible doucheness. I think that is pretty cool of them. I would hope someone would do the same for me.}
(Author's note 3: I attempted to transfer the website to my company. They wanted me to track down all the information and call their provider to set it up. I said I didn't have the time and to e-mail me when they had it figured out. They did not and I let the domain expire. Per their old website you can see that things did not end well. The partners split and not they run separate, competing companies.)
A year or so ago, when I still had a job, I mentioned to my boss that our company should buy its “actual” domain name. The company is Allstate Installations, but their web site domain name is allstateinstall.com. I suggested they buy allstateinstallations.com because that is what anyone in their right mind would search for / type in the address bar when looking for our company. He thought that was a great idea and would think about it. I sent him reminder e-mails. I talked to him again in person. Nothing came of it.
So I bought it myself and politely forwarded the traffic to the company’s webpage.
Now they have laid me off and I’m wondering what I should do with the domain. Here are a few ideas with their associated scores. Please let me know if you have any better ideas.
Hand the domain over to my company
This is the right thing to do. It’s also the most boring.
Score: D
Forward to Goat/se.cx
Too easy. Too predictable. But disgustingly funny.
Score: C
Forward to a competitor's website
Allstate Installations has several competitors. This would be a real F-U to the old boss.
Score: B-
Forward to porn
Another obvious idea, but the real detail is in what porn site you choose.
Score: (site / score)
playboy(dot)com / D+
beastality(dot)com / A
hugeblackcocks(dot)com / B+
fistinglessons(dot)net / B
clownporn(dot)net/ A++
Forward to a photo site with photoshopped pictures of boss in compromising positions
This is a great idea, but the only photos I have of him are of him in compromising positions and most of those photos are copyrighted.
Score: C
Let the domain to expire and allow anyone reading this to buy it and do what they please
This is the only real democratic option.
Score: A
{Author's note: One I did not think of was "Sell it to anyone that will buy it." I have received a few bids. All for way more than the site is worth. Right now the bidding is at $950. Step right up!! Let's see what my soul is worth.
Score: $$}
{Author's note 2: As many of you have suggested, I am a douche. But not that kind of douche. I am in the process of transferring the domain over, free of charge. My old boss and co-workers received several e-mails from strangers warning of this post and my possible doucheness. I think that is pretty cool of them. I would hope someone would do the same for me.}
(Author's note 3: I attempted to transfer the website to my company. They wanted me to track down all the information and call their provider to set it up. I said I didn't have the time and to e-mail me when they had it figured out. They did not and I let the domain expire. Per their old website you can see that things did not end well. The partners split and not they run separate, competing companies.)
Ride
John picked me up last night to get a drink. Most the bars in Columbus would be closed for Thanksgiving, but Byrnes would not. It tends to draw in a crowd that are back from family and want a drink or those without family and need a drink. It was 9:00pm.
We pulled out of my allotment and turned to hit the main road. I called Josh to see if he wanted to join us. He didn’t answer so I began to leave him a message.
There are two gas stations on the corner of the main road and a woman was standing on the corner to our right. She was pretty and nicely dressed. The light was red so we got to watch what happened next.
I immediately thought the woman was out begging for money. I’d seen this tactic before, even from well dressed people that don’t fit the off ramp beggar stereotype. I mentioned this on my message to Josh in a kind of play by play. She walked back to a van that pulled up just behind in the lane next to us. It was the white, industrial van with lettering on the door advertising a fix-it business. The driver was on his cell phone. I thought she was going to knock on the window, but instead she opened the door of the van and hopped in. She must have been waiting for a ride.
The driver leaned over and punched her.
Or at least he tried. It was hard for him to lean all the way over and get a good blow in. She spun with her back to the door and blocked the second punch with her legs. She started to kick back. The driver now was blocking her kicks with both hands and trying to hit her back. He never dropped the cell phone. As all this escalated, I continued to describe it in the message. Even the name of the company and the phone number on the side of the van.
The light switched to green and we turned left. I could see the van rocking back and forth as it got smaller and smaller in the distance. I hung up the phone.
Josh called me back a few minutes later and said, “What the fuck was up with that message?” I said it was what it was… a play by play of a fight at a stop light. He said I sounded like the reporter at the Hindenburg catastrophe. I thought I had my shit together better than that.
We sat at the bar and drank pints of beer. We laughed and told stories and talked about a zombie movie script.
Later, John drove me home. We passed the corner where the woman had been waiting for her ride. There was nothing there to prove what we saw had ever happened.
We pulled out of my allotment and turned to hit the main road. I called Josh to see if he wanted to join us. He didn’t answer so I began to leave him a message.
There are two gas stations on the corner of the main road and a woman was standing on the corner to our right. She was pretty and nicely dressed. The light was red so we got to watch what happened next.
I immediately thought the woman was out begging for money. I’d seen this tactic before, even from well dressed people that don’t fit the off ramp beggar stereotype. I mentioned this on my message to Josh in a kind of play by play. She walked back to a van that pulled up just behind in the lane next to us. It was the white, industrial van with lettering on the door advertising a fix-it business. The driver was on his cell phone. I thought she was going to knock on the window, but instead she opened the door of the van and hopped in. She must have been waiting for a ride.
The driver leaned over and punched her.
Or at least he tried. It was hard for him to lean all the way over and get a good blow in. She spun with her back to the door and blocked the second punch with her legs. She started to kick back. The driver now was blocking her kicks with both hands and trying to hit her back. He never dropped the cell phone. As all this escalated, I continued to describe it in the message. Even the name of the company and the phone number on the side of the van.
The light switched to green and we turned left. I could see the van rocking back and forth as it got smaller and smaller in the distance. I hung up the phone.
Josh called me back a few minutes later and said, “What the fuck was up with that message?” I said it was what it was… a play by play of a fight at a stop light. He said I sounded like the reporter at the Hindenburg catastrophe. I thought I had my shit together better than that.
We sat at the bar and drank pints of beer. We laughed and told stories and talked about a zombie movie script.
Later, John drove me home. We passed the corner where the woman had been waiting for her ride. There was nothing there to prove what we saw had ever happened.
PETA Plans for Protest of Python
I couldn’t believe it when I read this. Take a look at this news release from PETA -
http://www.peta.org/actioncenter/ActionAlerts-item/monty_python_SPAMALOT.
Basically, here are the good parts:
Columbus, OH- In recognition of World Week for Feathered Friends, PETA members, joined by replica parrot hand puppets and waving signs that say, “Python: Stop Killing Parrots!” will protest the showing of Monty Python’s SPAMALOT at the Ohio Theatre in an effort to persuade people to cease laughing at Monty Python videos, movies and live theatre acts until the company stops abusing the likenesses of animals. This protest is part of PETA’s international campaign against the England-based comedy troupe and their continued use of parrots, cows and cats in their sketch comedy.
Date: Friday, November 23, 2007
Time: 7:30pm
Place: Ohio Theatre, 39 E. State St. Columbus, OH 43215
Alice Stales with the Columbus branch of PETA said, “By using Python in their name, we knew it was a tip off that this group would abuse animals.” She added, “When I saw that cow go flying over the castle wall, I just cried.”
Several PETA members are taking time off from their Black Thursday or “Thanksgiving” demonstrations to prepare for the protest. Mark Jakes of Nelsonville admitted to being a Monty Python fan for years until his girlfriend got him involved with PETA, “There was that one skit where they sell raw, dead albatross. It’s not that funny if you were the albatross or albatross flavored. The crunchy frog skit was funny but not when I found out why they were crunchy.”
Alice Stales also admitted to harboring ambivalent feelings towards pythons in general, being that they're animals, but ones who kill and eat other, cuter, animals. “We’re teaching snakes to eat soy shaped rabbits.”
http://www.peta.org/actioncenter/ActionAlerts-item/monty_python_SPAMALOT.
Basically, here are the good parts:
Columbus, OH- In recognition of World Week for Feathered Friends, PETA members, joined by replica parrot hand puppets and waving signs that say, “Python: Stop Killing Parrots!” will protest the showing of Monty Python’s SPAMALOT at the Ohio Theatre in an effort to persuade people to cease laughing at Monty Python videos, movies and live theatre acts until the company stops abusing the likenesses of animals. This protest is part of PETA’s international campaign against the England-based comedy troupe and their continued use of parrots, cows and cats in their sketch comedy.
Date: Friday, November 23, 2007
Time: 7:30pm
Place: Ohio Theatre, 39 E. State St. Columbus, OH 43215
Alice Stales with the Columbus branch of PETA said, “By using Python in their name, we knew it was a tip off that this group would abuse animals.” She added, “When I saw that cow go flying over the castle wall, I just cried.”
Several PETA members are taking time off from their Black Thursday or “Thanksgiving” demonstrations to prepare for the protest. Mark Jakes of Nelsonville admitted to being a Monty Python fan for years until his girlfriend got him involved with PETA, “There was that one skit where they sell raw, dead albatross. It’s not that funny if you were the albatross or albatross flavored. The crunchy frog skit was funny but not when I found out why they were crunchy.”
Alice Stales also admitted to harboring ambivalent feelings towards pythons in general, being that they're animals, but ones who kill and eat other, cuter, animals. “We’re teaching snakes to eat soy shaped rabbits.”
Overcome by Emotion
Erik and Dave could not help themselves yesterday during the Ohio State win over Michigan. When the game was in the bag, they took the opportunity to let their overflow of emotions come to the surface in a physical show of their mutual love of football and each other.
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