This photo is so wrong on so many levels. That is a plastic thumb hanging out of my shirt. I'm not sure what those stains are. That look on my face is awful.
Put them together and they make one hell of a photo.
Hanging out at the water cooler
This photo is so wrong on so many levels. That is a plastic thumb hanging out of my shirt. I'm not sure what those stains are. That look on my face is awful.
Put them together and they make one hell of a photo.
Gay Man’s Book Day
I don’t think it comes as a surprise to any of you that I am gay. Super gay. Here’s how gay:
Miss Sally goes out about once a week with her friends. Once she leaves the house and the kids are in bed, John will come over and we watch a movie and eat pop corn. We call it “Gay Man’s Movie Night.” We like to discuss the movie and laugh (Borat} or be sad {The Life Aquatic} or wonder what all the hype was about {Knocked Up.}
A few weeks ago, John and I were at a bar after an Ohio State football game. There were a lot of hot girls there. Hot, drunk girls. John and I stood around on the edge of the dance floor and debated a number of logic points in Stephen Donaldson’s most recent book. A girl sauntered off the dance floor and completely unprovoked she said to us, “You are both pathetic.” She then turned back out on to the dance floor. We were stunned. And then we laughed. It was true. Gay Man’s Date Night.
Tomorrow, Stephen R. Donaldson’s next book is coming out. I re-arranged my meetings so that I would be done by 11:00am. John took the day off. We’ll meet at the Barnes and Nobel around noon and buy two copies of the book. I expect that we will cuddle up next to each other on a couch in the cafe and read the first 100 pages or so. Gay Man’s Book Day.
And that's how gay I am.
If you have any other date selections for us, please let us know.
And P.S.: Robert Jordan can suck Donaldson’s balls. Donaldson writes circles around that hack. That was your Gay Man’s Author Critique.
Miss Sally goes out about once a week with her friends. Once she leaves the house and the kids are in bed, John will come over and we watch a movie and eat pop corn. We call it “Gay Man’s Movie Night.” We like to discuss the movie and laugh (Borat} or be sad {The Life Aquatic} or wonder what all the hype was about {Knocked Up.}
A few weeks ago, John and I were at a bar after an Ohio State football game. There were a lot of hot girls there. Hot, drunk girls. John and I stood around on the edge of the dance floor and debated a number of logic points in Stephen Donaldson’s most recent book. A girl sauntered off the dance floor and completely unprovoked she said to us, “You are both pathetic.” She then turned back out on to the dance floor. We were stunned. And then we laughed. It was true. Gay Man’s Date Night.
Tomorrow, Stephen R. Donaldson’s next book is coming out. I re-arranged my meetings so that I would be done by 11:00am. John took the day off. We’ll meet at the Barnes and Nobel around noon and buy two copies of the book. I expect that we will cuddle up next to each other on a couch in the cafe and read the first 100 pages or so. Gay Man’s Book Day.
And that's how gay I am.
If you have any other date selections for us, please let us know.
And P.S.: Robert Jordan can suck Donaldson’s balls. Donaldson writes circles around that hack. That was your Gay Man’s Author Critique.
See anything wrong with this school crossing sign?
(CLICK TO ENLARGE)
This was a school crossing sign I saw in Seville, Spain back in 1993. No photoshopping on my part. It's black and white because that's what you are 'sposed to take photos with in foreign countries.
Ad Placement... which are the conjoined twins?
I saw this news report about conjoined twins today. As I looked in the article I thought, "Those kids don't look like twins." As I watched, the photo flipped to an advertisement. Then I saw the real conjoined twins in the upper right hand corner. I waited until the ad cycled and took a screen shot.
Good Luck Miss Shelly!!
Good luck with your surgery Miss Shelly.
We'll be thinking of you.
Oh, and make sure you get everything they take out of you back in jars and labeled. I went in for a simple surgery and the surgeon removed three inches from my penis! Now, what am I supposed to do now that I only have eight inches?
We'll be thinking of you.
Oh, and make sure you get everything they take out of you back in jars and labeled. I went in for a simple surgery and the surgeon removed three inches from my penis! Now, what am I supposed to do now that I only have eight inches?
Rock Star Parking vs Movie Star Parking
Let’s say you are driving out to a restaurant and as you prepare to circle the block 18 times looking for a parking spot, a space appears right in front of the restaurant. What kind of parking do you call that? My friend Erik calls it Rock Star Parking. I call it Movie Star parking. Who is right?
I am biased, but I will try to be fair.
Erik is wrong. I am right. It's called Movie Star Parking
Rock Star Parking implies that because Rock Stars are famous/popular that a spot in front of a destination will be reserved for them. Or that they are so important that people will make room for them. Or perhaps they are so special that the parking god (I believe her name is Vera) just makes a spot magically appear.
The flaw in Erik’s logic is that Rock Stars don’t drive themselves. They have their driver or an entourage that drop them off at the front door. Even more likely, Rock Stars are dropped of at back doors to avoid the types of people that might save them a parking spot in front.
I refer to good parking as Movie Star Parking because no one in the movies ever parks more than ten steps away from an entrance. A space always is open. There usually isn’t a meter. They don’t even need to parallel park as there are three open spaces so they can glide in. Sometimes the scene in the movie just cuts to them getting out of an already parked car.
It’s Movie Star parking. An open space in front of a destination. I’m right. Erik’s wrong. I'm sure you all can agree to that.
I am biased, but I will try to be fair.
Erik is wrong. I am right. It's called Movie Star Parking
Rock Star Parking implies that because Rock Stars are famous/popular that a spot in front of a destination will be reserved for them. Or that they are so important that people will make room for them. Or perhaps they are so special that the parking god (I believe her name is Vera) just makes a spot magically appear.
The flaw in Erik’s logic is that Rock Stars don’t drive themselves. They have their driver or an entourage that drop them off at the front door. Even more likely, Rock Stars are dropped of at back doors to avoid the types of people that might save them a parking spot in front.
I refer to good parking as Movie Star Parking because no one in the movies ever parks more than ten steps away from an entrance. A space always is open. There usually isn’t a meter. They don’t even need to parallel park as there are three open spaces so they can glide in. Sometimes the scene in the movie just cuts to them getting out of an already parked car.
It’s Movie Star parking. An open space in front of a destination. I’m right. Erik’s wrong. I'm sure you all can agree to that.
Stop being nice on the road
You know who you are. You woke up on time. You were able to leave a little bit early for work. Your favorite song was on the radio. You drive up to a four way stop just before another car across the way does. He wants to turn left. You have the right of way, but you wave a friendly, “Go ahead!”
Just quit it.
I had a similar incident happen to me this morning. I was on a side road, waiting to turn a dangerous left over four lanes of traffic. I do this often, so I know there is a pause in traffic once ever sixty seconds. I waited for the traffic to go by and a person on the opposite side of the road wanted to turn left on to the side street I was turning out of. I waited for him to turn, but he stopped. I looked over and he was waving for me to go. “Go ahead friend! You go first! I’m nice!!” I pointed at him through the windshield and yelled, “YOU GO.” He had the audacity to stare at me with a pissy little screwed up face as he turned and sped by.
There is a time and a place for niceness. The road is not one of those places. Follow the rules. Do not be nice.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not suggesting people drive really fast and cut off others in traffic. That’s just not being nice, that dangerous and assholey. Share the road, but don’t give it away.
I really just want people to follow the rules of the road. Sure it may mean that someone may sit at an intersection for a longer amount of time, but it also means that there will not be an accident when a wave or head bob is misinterpreted as a “I’m nice, you go first Oh shit there’s a car coming… Oops!”
There are situations where you can be polite in your car. Parking lots, the modern day Road Warrior setting, could use a bit of niceness. An accident scene, where everyone has to play nice and merge, deserves a bit of humanity. I don’t think there is anything anyone can do to fix what happens after a concert in the parking lot.
All I ask is this: Share the road. Be polite within the rules of the road. And quit trying to be nice, asshole.
Oh, one other thing... if you are the first one in the left turn lane, pull up and take control of the intersection. It's yours. Take it. Mainly because I am the fourth car back and really need to get to work.
Just quit it.
I had a similar incident happen to me this morning. I was on a side road, waiting to turn a dangerous left over four lanes of traffic. I do this often, so I know there is a pause in traffic once ever sixty seconds. I waited for the traffic to go by and a person on the opposite side of the road wanted to turn left on to the side street I was turning out of. I waited for him to turn, but he stopped. I looked over and he was waving for me to go. “Go ahead friend! You go first! I’m nice!!” I pointed at him through the windshield and yelled, “YOU GO.” He had the audacity to stare at me with a pissy little screwed up face as he turned and sped by.
There is a time and a place for niceness. The road is not one of those places. Follow the rules. Do not be nice.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not suggesting people drive really fast and cut off others in traffic. That’s just not being nice, that dangerous and assholey. Share the road, but don’t give it away.
I really just want people to follow the rules of the road. Sure it may mean that someone may sit at an intersection for a longer amount of time, but it also means that there will not be an accident when a wave or head bob is misinterpreted as a “I’m nice, you go first Oh shit there’s a car coming… Oops!”
There are situations where you can be polite in your car. Parking lots, the modern day Road Warrior setting, could use a bit of niceness. An accident scene, where everyone has to play nice and merge, deserves a bit of humanity. I don’t think there is anything anyone can do to fix what happens after a concert in the parking lot.
All I ask is this: Share the road. Be polite within the rules of the road. And quit trying to be nice, asshole.
Oh, one other thing... if you are the first one in the left turn lane, pull up and take control of the intersection. It's yours. Take it. Mainly because I am the fourth car back and really need to get to work.
Laminated List Week
It’s the first week of October and you know what that means! It’s UPDATE YOUR LAMINATED LIST week.
As you all know, a laminated list is the three famous people with whom you are allowed to have sex. If ever the opportunity presents itself, you and your partner agree that you have permission to have guilt free sex with the three people on that list.
Every year, during the first week of October, you are allowed to update the list.
So here is my list for 07’ – 08’…
1. Christina Ricci
2. Alyssa Milano (she’s back!)
3. Leelee Sobieski
Sarah Silverman has not made the cut, but she has until the end of this week to convince me.
Who’s on your list?
As you all know, a laminated list is the three famous people with whom you are allowed to have sex. If ever the opportunity presents itself, you and your partner agree that you have permission to have guilt free sex with the three people on that list.
Every year, during the first week of October, you are allowed to update the list.
So here is my list for 07’ – 08’…
1. Christina Ricci
2. Alyssa Milano (she’s back!)
3. Leelee Sobieski
Sarah Silverman has not made the cut, but she has until the end of this week to convince me.
Who’s on your list?
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