So instead, I will buy a card that isn't even close and turn it into The Perfect Card:
First, buy a card. It really doesn't matter what card you buy. Words on the front usually work best. This card below was for Beth and Eric's wedding. As you can see, this has very little to do with a wedding. That's fine. If you are good, you can Photoshop your edits. If you are me, you use markers.
Next, get your tools. For this card, I'll be using blue and red sharpies and a huge carpenters L thingy for drawing straight lines. I don't know what I was thinking.
Finally, make The Perfect Card edits. remove the words that don't work, replace them with words that do.
And that is how you Chose the Perfect Card. If you want, you can print this out and edit it for your Perfect Card.