If we are notified that a Twitter user has turned into a Zombie, we can remove their account or assist family members in translating their loved one’s moans and death rattles into 140 character Tweets.
Please contact us with the following information:
1. Your full name, contact information (including email address), and your relationship to the Zombie.
2. The username of the Twitter account, or a link to the last Tweet they made suggesting that they were bit and feel ill.
3. A link to a news article or video of the Zombie eating brains.
You can contact us at email@example.com, or by mail or fax:
795 Folsom Street, Suite 600
San Francisco, CA 94107
We will respond by email with any additional information we might need including what new Zombie user name they might want. Please note that we cannot make Twitter @name exceptions for long Zombie names like Mmmmmmhhhhhhhhhgggggggggggggggggggg.
Please note that we cannot do anything about loved ones who turn into vampires. We don’t deal with that shit.