Birthing Advice to Anne

My good friend Anne is about to have a baby in the next few days. Here was my advice to her:

Have a plan for the stuff you cannot plan for. My experience is that shit happens very quickly and the doctors are going to want you to do what they say. You need to know if you want the epidural and that they need to stick you not too early but not too late. You want pitocin? We didn't know we did with Anne, but they said, we are going to give you this to help with the labor and we said, "Duh, sure." If things go south, you need your husband to be able to side with you on what you'd like to do, like keep trying to push or bail and C section. We had two very good experiences, except with the epidural that freaked miss sally out worse the second time.

It will all go too quickly. Take photos. Not of the event but leading up to and at the hospital. Let both sets of parents know ahead of time if you want them around in the room or whatever. They will understand, but you should lay that crap out now just so everyone knows if they are welcome to stare at your vagina.

Just remember that people have been having babies for a very, very long time and that means absolutely nothing when it's you.

Take care and best of luck.

I think this is a HolyJuan post. Sorry. Love you.

Doug

PS If you are breast feeding, it is the single most frustrating thing in the world. Keep at it. Don't feel bad if it doesn't work out but don't give up too quickly. You should send me a photo of your boobs so that I can see if everything looks right.

4 comments:

Capt. Schmoe said...

"PS If you are breast feeding, it is the single most frustrating thing in the world. Keep at it. Don't feel bad if it doesn't work out but don't give up too quickly. You should send me a photo of your boobs so that I can see if everything looks right."

Not very holy, Juan.

HolyJuan said...

Come on, Schmoe! It's for science!

lin-z said...

Good timing. I still have 5 more months to prepare but every little tip helps! ;) xoxo

HolyJuan said...

NO WAY! AWESOME! Congratulations!