Ten Reasons Why I am a Better Parent Than You

1. Our kids do not have and will never have access to television in their rooms

2. Our kids do not have and will never have access to video games in their rooms at bedtime.

3. Our kids are only allowed to drink beers from local breweries and not corporate, factory beers.

4. We eat dinner as a family.

5. Our children were taught at an early age how to clean their needles and how to rotate their hidden injection sites to prevent collapsed veins.

6. We require the kids help with house work and yard work for an hour a day.

7. The kids memorize the way out the back of restaurants or out restroom windows for a successful dine and dash.

8. The children are trained to know which cars are expensive and thus more profitable with which to fake an accident on their bike.

9. The kids switch nightly helping with the preparation of dinner.

10. Manners are required at all times. “May I be excused,” and “Please hand over the wallet.”

5 comments:

ochenas said...

My list goes to 11

HolyJuan said...

My number 11 is "Our kids don't have to overcompensate."

Liz said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
HolyJuan said...

Dear "Liz",

Your shill is transparent. I've seen your similar comment on other sites with different user names. You are probably searching for "parenting" or "better parent" and leaving your client's name and book.

I assume you are not Debbie nor Liz, but rather a lame SEO. So I am deleting your comment. Fuck off.

Anonymous said...

local breweries. genius.